VIP October 2021

Wedding List Planning 101

Jennifer, on July 13, 2019 at 11:37 PM Posted in Planning 0 3
Here is my top way to plan any social event, but a Wedding, guest list:

Ok, you and your FH, his parents and yours( together or separately) all need to make the “A LIST”, “B LIST”, & “C LIST”.

“A LIST”= the people you cannot imagine your day without. These commonly include: Parents, Grandparents, Siblings, Aunts & Uncles...

”B LIST”= the people you want there to share the day, but won’t be heartbroken if they aren’t there. These include: Best Friend, Co-workers( close), Cousins/Second Cousins, Neighbors....

”C LIST”= the people that you’d like there if there’s space, and money, to include them. These include: Co-workers/boss, Friends that don’t fall into “A & B”, People you feel obligated to invite....

Once you all have made the lists it’s time to sit down together and look over them.

The names that are on all/several of your lists, like You & Your Parents have Grandma Jane, go into the “A LIST”.

Then it is time to look at who has people that you feel matter.

Have a “MASTER LIST” and add the names that are duplicated first, then add the “B LIST” names and so on, until you reach the guest limit/no more names.

Also, you need to figure out if it’s an adults only, 16+ type or are children welcome? Then you need to factor in Plus Ones. And of kids are welcome than you need to add all of the kids who are eating solid food...

Good luck! Hope this helps!

( ps: The part of: ‘together or separately’ after parents, is that a lot of times it makes sense to have each parent do a list vs them do a combined list.)

As with my FH, since we are both older adults( 41 me, 52 him) his mom doesn’t really get that huge a say, but we will take into account some of the people she wants. Same with my side.

FH is a high end lawyer so there will be former clients and other attorneys, as well as judges and political people there( sigh! 200+)- But most of those fall into the “C LIST”( at least where I am hoping they do lol!)


Latest activity by Melle, on July 14, 2019 at 7:02 AM
  • Monique
    Master December 2019
    Monique ·
    • Flag
    This is an interesting way of going about figuring out guests. My parents told us to invite our people first before they added theirs. Everyone we invited was an a lister to us. I think I would feel weird doing three different lists a, b, c.
    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    VIP October 2021
    Jennifer ·
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    This is helpful when the guest list is going to get crazy large and or you have a tight budget and cannot have a huge amount of people. And have 4+ parents and the Bride & Groom making the list.

    YOUR= family, friends, & coworkers.
    FH= family, friends & coworkers
    YOUR FAMILY= friends, other ppl
    FH FAMILY= friends, other ppl
    Now each of those lists has 40- 80 people, and say 10 that cross on each. So you have about 40 out of a possible 320, and your only able to have 100ppl. Who do you cut?
    Those 10(40- it’s 3am and I can’t math, sorry!) that are on the multiple list are a MUST, and then you use the “ABC” list to see where they rest fall. Once placed, they can Always be moved around until you hit the max number for your wedding.

    Harsh, in some ways.
    But, look at my wedding—200ppl tops. FH has 140ppl and hasn’t put much thought into it. And when he does that number will almost double- GOD forbid his Mother get involved!( just Bc he’s 53 and I’m 41 and this is his second, and my first, marriage)
    Then what about MY family and friends, the plus ones that he forgot to add in??? Is it fair I only get 30-50 people and he gets 150+? That’s when the “ABC” list comes in.
    I’d LOVE to invite everyone that is family, friends, & Facebook friends who’ve been truer than some family, or friends in physical life!, and coworkers/etc but it’s not feasible- sadly.
    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    I think this def is based on the person. I couldn't imagine my wedding day not having my best friends and we didn't even invite some aunts and uncles out of not even being close to them. But generally I do see that that's how people go about it.
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