Wedding is approaching and having doubts...

Oh geez... I am soooo sorry you are dealing with this. I don't even know what to tell you. Have you talked to a professional who can help you sort through these feelings?

I don't know what's exactly normal or not. I never, not once, had doubts about marrying my husband. Could the stress of planning be getting to you? When you say you talked about calling it off, was it just the big, expensive wedding, or the marriage entirely?

Just know, that if you can sort your feelings out enough to figure out that this is really what you want... it is OKAY. You don't have to feel guilty or hang onto a relationship because its too sad or hard to let go. I strongly suggest talking to a relationship counsellor (just you) to sort out your thoughts and feelings though.

Best of luck to you in this time!

Maybe postpone it for now until you two figure out exactly what you want. Absolutely definitely do some premarital counseling! We recently had a couple of friends call of their wedding two weeks the big day, and I bet they wish they did something about it sooner.

But definitely do the premarital counseling, I hope you two are able to get back to where you were.

I'm sorry you are going through this too. I haven't ever had doubts about marrying my FH. I may have questioned money for this big wedding and that type of thing but never my FH. I think you should talk to a therapist and sort out your feelings ASAP before your wedding!!

I suggest couples counseling. FH and I were having a lot of problems for about 6 months mostly due to his depression. We would fight all the time. Ever since we tried counseling and came to terms with our problems and how to handle conflict our relationship is much better. Neither of us ever really had any doubts we didn't want to get married but it was in the back of our minds that if we didn't figure out how to handle our selves and problems we would be going into our marriage completely unprepared.

I would definitely talk with a counselor about your thoughts and feelings. It's a lot more expensive to divorce than it is to postpone or cancel.

Best of luck to you as you figure out what's best for you.

Go to counseling! Sometimes small stuff snowballs if you don't address it and then you finally feel like breaking as you have the weight of all that on your shoulders.

A good therapist can help! Also check out the book, "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work". We're using it in our pre-marital counseling and it's great for all couples, LTR, engaged, newly married or married for a while.

Getting married should be exciting and something you're looking forward to you. If all you're doing is dreading the day and you're not sure about marrying him, then I would either call it off or postpone it long enough to go to a pre-marital counselor (especially if the fights are not wedding-stress related).

I'm so sorry you're going through this! I second the advice PP have given - find a professional to speak with. Sometimes, it helps to get everything out and have someone else help us form a complete picture of what's going on.

Good luck!

No shame in counselling! Do it! And, if you're not sure he's the one, wait to marry him. Consider eloping. Maybe weddings just aren't for you as a couple.

I don't really know that this is normal. It is normal to be stressed and some people take it poorly, but it shouldn't be this serious. I would postpone the wedding to give you more time to sort it out and do some pre-marital counseling like others have suggested.

I'm really sorry. This sounds heartbreaking. Just know that whatever you decide to do, those that you mean the most to will support you no matter what. Decide what feels right for you and what makes you happy.

What are the fights about? The wedding?

SKT, I am a marriage counselor-- *please* go talk to someone about this. I understand the momentum and excitement that build around a wedding-- how hard it can be, financially and emotionally, to say, "Wait! I need to think about this a bit longer!" but this is one of the biggest decisions of your life (I'd say only having kids is bigger). Please make sure you're doing the right thing before taking this step. Getting divorced is very hard-- I've watched people do it.

I'm so sorry you are dealing with all this. Try to seek out a marriage or professional counselor, and talk through some of these emotions if you have the time. Don't be afraid to make the right decision in the end. Whatever you decide, others will understand.

I agree with everyone who's suggested counseling. To be completely honest though, whenever I see posts like these, I can't help but think one thing...whenever DH and I fought/fight, no matter how bad it was (and we've had some doozies), walking away was never an option on the table.

The fact that you're questioning it has me concerned. Definitely engage in counseling (either alone or as a couple or both) and postpone the wedding for now.

The wedding is only one day but the marriage is what matters. If you aren't 100% sure if your FH is the right partner for you, then at least postpone it. I agree that pre-marital counseling would definitely help you figure it out.

When you talked to him about callig it off last night, what did he say? Does he have similar doubts?

There's anxiety and nervous doubt and then there are red flag warnings. Try this online resource while you seek outside counseling http://conscious-transitions.com. Good luck!

I'm really sorry that you guys are having a tough time. I would definitely postpone the wedding at this point and start with counseling. Pretty much what everyone else is telling you. Definitely go with your gut, because right now it's tell you that you're not happy.

If you have doubts DON'T GET MARRIED. Been there, done that.. divorced.

Take the next exit, IMO what you're describing is not a healthy way start your life with someone else. My friend was dumped a week before his wedding (crazy B) but we all say it's a blessing in disguise.

If you think you can work it out you gotta be open and honest with your man. If you're both just stressing from the planning then go to the court house.

Best of luck, btw you can always postpone your engagement too.