Wedding invite etiquette when there is a lot of out of town guests

Even with traveling guests, the invitations should still be sent at the standard 6-8 weeks. They have advance notice of the save the date so that gives them enough time to make travel plans as necessary to schedule flights, hotels, and/or rental cars, as well as whatever other transportation they need. This is something that social media and tv has created unnecessary panic over that somehow traditional timelines no longer exist and guests suddenly forgot how to be proactive guests after they had no issues for millennia. Send everything at the normal time.

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Thanks for the input. Yea I wasn't worried about it until I started getting a large influx of questions and I'm like O.O

I did do something else proactive to help. I sent out a notice on facebook to people I can reach that way about the website link if anyone had questions about the wedding block links and such, so hopefully it will help answer some people's questions

Honestly, I think that times really have changed. There's a huge difference in how people treat etiquette between generations now. I think it really depends on the group of people too and how that family was raised of course. Like among my family, people are very good at RSVPing and showing when they say they plan to be somewhere. I've been to some weddings where people RSVP yes and then there's like 50 name cards that never get picked up because they didn't show. I mean I know things happen that are unavoidable for some people like emergencies, but that's a lot. It's crazy. 20 years ago I'd never expect to see that. I guess at least if people are asking a bunch of detailed questions early, I don't have to worry about that haha

View Quoted Comment Etiquette has not changed at all but the attitude towards it has. Social media treats people like they should know nothing and discourages educating themselves. Another reason why people say etiquette is outdated is because their parents never taught them about it. That is not the fault of the couple but it also should not be used as an excuse to not follow etiquette. Because it is such a foreign concept, it is said it “belongs to another time in the past, not the present”. That is not true. It is the art of navigating social settings to avoid awkward and uncomfortable situations between humans. As long as humans coexist, etiquette will be valid and necessary.

Websites are a fairly new idea and didn’t exist in years past because people talked to each other over the phone and in person instead of defaulting to a website for all information. Even today, as popular as social media makes wedding websites out to be that a couple is strange if they don’t have one, more people don’t have one because the statistics are skewed. Plus, any given post here where the topic comes up says that a number of guests didn’t read the website. That is not a personality flaw even if the media wants couples to believe it is. Past generations such as parents and aunts/uncles are used to that extra information on a separate details card for a reason.

If you think your guests would appreciate getting the info early I see no issue sending them out in July. You know your crowd best. Best of luck to you and happy planning!

No sooner than 6-8 weeks is considered proper. That’s because regardless of RSVP date an invitation comes with the obligation of a reply asap and many conflicts don’t come up until then. Traditionally, you don’t want to appear overly competitive by sending ahead of other affairs happening at the same time. A counterintuitive concept these days, I’m sure!


Your guests already have the heads up and all your VIPs know the date. You can always send out informational emails as an additional resource but ultimately it’s up to your guests to have the common sense to make their travel arrangements. Calls and questions go along with the territory, so I wouldn’t be concerned there.

My wedding is in October and I'm sending invites in July. Everyone is from out of town and some are overseas. It also took over a month for some people to get our save the dates. I'm not worried about traditional etiquette because I'm doing what's best for my guests. While emergencies do happen, people know by now whether or not they plan to come.

My wedding is in August and I sent my invites out in May 1 because we also have a lot of out of town guests and a guest capacity limit, so I can invite additional folks with plenty of time to spare when others decline (they won't also know they were on the wait list).

I don’t know why USPS never comes up in these conversations. Like yes, etiquette is very important and should be followed. But on the other hand, USPS is AWFUL in general, and they’re even worse with invitations. My stationer literally just told me this morning that she’s had multiple couples report recently that some of their guests didn’t receive their invitation until after the wedding!!! So I don’t know, as a guest I might feel stressed if a couple told me I had to RSVP four months before the wedding (please don’t do that lol), but I would also feel put out if I got a “hey, we never received your RSVP” text for an invitation that I never even received and now they’re like our headcount is due in 48 hours. If you’re following the 6-8 week timeline, I would definitely have them in the mail right at 8 weeks because I can guarantee you’ll have guests not getting that invite for 4-6 weeks.

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That's another benefit of STDs. Guests already have the heads up. Anyone who does not receive an invitation within the standard time can follow up.

If most of your guests are from out of town. I suggest to send the save the dates now. I think I read your post correctly. I’m getting married July 20, 224 and I will send my save the dates 8 months in advance. One of the reasons is my family like to vacation and plan things early. Good luck on having an amazing day!