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Beginner March 2012

Wedding Invitations Drama - Why so much drama with parents - please help

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Randall, on May 1, 2012 at 7:18 PM

Hello all, I am the groom. Our wedding is in a few months and we are starting to look at invitations. So initially we were paying 2/3 of our wedding costs and each of our parents were giving an additional 1/6. However, my parents, who have a nice bank account, insisted on certain things for the...

Hello all,

I am the groom. Our wedding is in a few months and we are starting to look at invitations.

So initially we were paying 2/3 of our wedding costs and each of our parents were giving an additional 1/6. However, my parents, who have a nice bank account, insisted on certain things for the wedding. For example, my parents hated the idea of a dj, and insisted on a band that they would pay for. So now, we are paying for about 1/2 the wedding, 1/6 by the bride's parents and 1/3 by my parents. But 1/2 of my parents costs, are for things they wanted, not that we wanted....

...anyway, my fiancee wants to put on the invitations her and my name and 'along with our families'. My parents flipped out and demanded that both parents name be on the invitations and that we were being disrespectful. My fiancee insists that we are paying for the bulk of wedding, and we should not have to add their specific names.

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23 Comments

VIP August 2012
Irchykk · on May 2, 2012 at 8:56 PM
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We are paying for our wedding all on our own to the last penny but I am still including our parents on the invite, just because they are our parents & they are good to both of us (both sets) ...
I am just debating now if I want their full name or just "together with our parents"
But this is your wedding, so do what you think is best & explain that to your parents.. They married already, they did their wedding how they wanted, now its your turn. It dont matter if they paying for the whole thing or just giving you $100, you are still including them on the invite. And like you said, the things that they are paying for, is what they want.. Your parents will still be your parents after the wedding & before.. but its not worth to fight with your FW about something like this.. I rather argue with my parents about it .. but then again, thats just me..
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Just Said Yes November 2012
Maria · on June 18, 2012 at 10:07 AM
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Having the same issue. Everyone is saying that even if the parents don't pay for the wedding, due to sacrifices they made and such, they should be included on the invite. Well, my mother and father were horrible parents growing up; neglectful and verbally abusive. I only speak to them now because they have calmed down a bit and they live far away. Of course, they aren't paying for anything. I am about to order my invitations and my fiance agreed, no recognition for the parents at all, as none of them are helping (his side either). However, I believe in respecting parents even if I feel especially mine don't really deserve it. Very torn on what to do. I am leaning toward "Together with their parents" just because I don't want to hear my mothers bitching (and she will be bitching). I say if you have good parents, even if they aren't paying, include them, if that were my situation, it wouldn't even be a thought in my mind. I am only debating because my situations different.
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Just Said Yes November 2012
Ms · on August 17, 2012 at 10:08 PM
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I will tell you that I am the mother of the groom and it was EXTREMELY hurtfull to get the invite only to find out that I was not mentioned. I am a single mother & have been since my children were 2&3. I've raised my children to the best of my abilities & love them more than life itself. The brides parents are paying for the wedding as I am not in the position to. I have offered to help out on many occasions & am paying for some of my guests. Not to be included on the invitations is not only hurtful but in my opinion, disrespectful & in poor taste. Just my opinion though.
I have cried countless nights over the lack of compassion that has been shown to the grooms family. I feel that marriage is not only a union of two people but, of two families. It is not a good way to start a marriage with feelings being hurt over an event that is possibly 5 hours long. Just add a stupid line to include both parents regardless of who pays. Trust me.. it's for the best all around.
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