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Just Said Yes October 2023

Wedding invitation ettiquette

Nancy, on July 7, 2023 at 12:38 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 6

My parents have given my fiance and I a generous gift towards our wedding, but we are paying for the rest, which is about the same amount as they gifted to us. My fiance's parents are deceased. How do I word the invitation when my parents are helping but not hosting our wedding? My father is very traditional, and I think he would feel snubbed if he was not mentioned on the invite, but I don't want the impression that my parents are paying for the whole wedding. We are in our 50's, have not lived with our families for over 30 years, so it feels silly for me to say 'Mr. & Mrs. John Smith cordially invite you....

Thank you for any suggestions!

6 Comments

Latest activity by CM, on August 4, 2023 at 2:37 PM
  • Cece
    Master October 2023
    Cece ·
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    I’ve seen a lot of invitations these days that begin with “Together with their families….”
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  • LM
    Super December 2022
    LM ·
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    Does your fiance want to list their parents? If so name everyone: "Together with X and the late Y, we invite you to..." Invitation wording is irrelevant to me as it's no one's business who pays. These days the couple pays. Plus, at a certain age it is nice to introduce your parents to friends who have never met them (if you're close). If you prefer not to write out their names in invites, or programs, you can verbally mention them in your toast. Anyway that's what I did and I'm older. I think I wanted to see their names on something I would keep. Good luck deciding.
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  • N
    Just Said Yes October 2023
    Nancy ·
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    Thank you!!!

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  • C
    CM ·
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    Deceased parents can be honored in many ways, but they cannot properly issue a wedding invitation. Some people will write "son of the late Mr. and Mrs. John Doe or Jane and John Doe" after the host line but a wedding invitation or wedding reception as memorial has never been my own personal cup of tea.

    Personally I would either write "together with her family"

    Jill Jones and Chris Smith

    request the pleasure of your company/honour/honor of your presence etc.

    or simply list the names of the two couples, ie

    Together with Mary and James Jones/ Mr. and Mrs. James Jones/Mr. James Jones and Mrs. Mary Jones

    Jill Jones and Chris Smith

    request the pleasure of your company etc.

    Keep in mind, hosting honors are not pay to play. Parents can contribute a lump sum as a gift with no hosting or planning expectations, and they can contribute nothing and still be included as an honorary host or take on some actual hosting duties. It's not all about money.

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  • B
    Beginner February 2024
    Bernice ·
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    You can say something like, "Together with their families, [Your Name] and [Fiancé's Name] joyfully invite you to celebrate their wedding day." That way, you're giving props to your parents without making it seem like they're footing the whole bill.

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  • C
    CM ·
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    Or you can just say "Together with their family." After all your family is becoming your fiance's family, too. If you want to give your parents name recognition I'd do it the way I mentioned.

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