Wedding insecurities

I am SO looking forward to letting go of all this stress! I plan events as part of my job, so the logistics and everything have been fine, but it's a LOT on my mind. I'm with you, keep breathing your day will be perfect. Also remember that people will always have opinions so don't worry about what they will think. It's going to be great.

My wedding is a long ways off but I have ideas of what I want. Mine is very simple too, backyard wedding and reception at a legion hall. That is the norm where I am from but j definitely feel odd about it when seeing people's weddings online or even what people are saying about their weddings on here. Just remember that you planned the wedding that you wanted and that it's the perfect wedding for you! You are doing the things that make you a good host and if your family feels the need to compare the two weddings that's not okay because you are two different people with different styles and tastes. I'm sure your wedding will be amazing! Best wishes

Thanks for your comment future Mrs. The planning has been relatively easy, it's the pressure of other people's expectations that has me down. You're so right! I'm sure your day will be wonderful too

@Megan thanks. The internet in general, Pinterest and even wedding wire is definitely helping to feed my anxiety. It's hard to remember that the majority of weddings aren't Pinterest perfect. I hope you enjoy the planning and I bet your wedding will be fantastic!

Heck YEAH! My FH's cousin is also getting married this year, with over 500 people. Their family owns a catering business and I do feel like even his family is very excited over "the big wedding" (yes, mine is the "little wedding"). It's a little demeaning sometimes, but I try to not focus on it. My coworker is also getting married and spending almost 30,000$ more than myself... I know some of my friends are going to that wedding also, and I do feel like I'm the cheaper version of the wedding. To top things off, I get on here and some of the things I've done for my wedding have just been slaughtered... so no, you're not alone. I think it's just like anything else, you just have to do what you can and enjoy yourself. Best of luck!!

@Am3131 Thank you

I used to have anxiety on a daily basis that I was either not hosting properly or spending too much money. It got to the point where all I was planning to spend on myself was $300 (using an old dress, just buying a cheap veil and shoes, and a basic bouquet, hair/makeup by myself) out of a $12,000 budget. And then I would worry that people wouldn't be impressed when they saw me and think it was sad. After some hard thinking, we scraped the guest list and started again with just our immediate family. All the anxiety is gone now.

Always have the wedding you want to pay for, not just what you can "afford," but what you want to spend. It really cuts the stress level down to next to nothing. $12,000 is on the low end of wedding expenses, but was difficult for FI and I to justify in terms of our priorities, even though we could have covered it with a months' combined salary. After we greatly reduced our guest list and our budget, we felt a lot better about the whole thing.

Just breathe. Remember, a lot of people dont like those huge stuck up weddings. I think people will love your wedding because it is you and your fh and they love yall. Weddings are so different from one another now a days i dont think will be judging anything

Ahh this is the 2nd wedding I have planned (first was a broken engagement 2 months before the date - thank goodness). It was supposed to be a big wedding and I felt nothing but anxiety. Then, the next year I went to 7 weddings as a guest ... all different levels of extravagant. At the end of the day, the ones that genuinely expressed the people getting married and where the couple didn't look as stressed were my favorite. My FH and I are paying for our own this time because I took a tip from my friends. It's the best way to guarantee the wedding that best conveys us. I think provided you are thinking along the same lines, OP, it will be a wonderful celebration of you two.

I feel similar! We can only have beer and wine at our venue, and I worry that won't be good enough. I worry that the decorations will look stupid when they're all set up together. I don't know why I'm feeling this way lately. But it's all in our heads and everything is gonna turn out great!

@anna b omg that would make me so anxious! I don't share too many details about my wedding on here due to some very strong opinions and the fact that I'm sensitive and would take it too personally (even though it's just the internet). I hope your wedding is flawless! @jenny b I'm glad you're planning the wedding you want! I think it's important for your guests AND you and FI to be happy with the wedding. I have a small budget but thankfully am getting a little help from my parents.

Yes. Not looking good in my wedding dress. I tried it on today and felt fat.

I know it's hard, but try to just keep in your mind that it is your wedding not theirs. So if it is just the way you and FH want then it is PERFECT. Just gonna throw out there I have been to both a small wedding and a very very large wedding, and the best hands down was the low key one. With a lot of people it comes with long speeches, dances, and a long line for the bar. :-D

Don't worry about th comparison. It doesn't matter what someone else does, just enjoy your day.

My brother is getting married 4 months after me. Our weddings are on completely opposite ends of the wedding spectrum.

Your family will understand that each couple had a different vision that matches their personalities and relationship.

I am constantly feeling like this! I think a lot of people will have high expectations for this grand fancy wedding, when in reality we could only afford what we could afford.

What really makes me nervous is the fact that all of this planning is just in my head. I have no idea what the day will actually look like and if it will look like shit or come out beautifully.

I worry about 4 guests that will judge the crap out of it, and when I get self conscious I remember just that. 4 people. Just 4 judgey asshole friends that are going to judge my wedding because they'd have a more expensive or more beautiful wedding. Why should I worry about what 4 people are going to think, rather than say fuck it and just enjoy my wedding that I've worked so hard planning for years!

I know exactly how you feel. I'm worn out from this and can't wait till it's over. I'm excited don't get my wrong. But I honestly believe the day of it'll be magical. Don't worry. We are only inviting close family and friends and they are very supportive. If they love you, they'll support you.

My wedding is this weekend and I have put 14 months of planning into it. I worry about this. I have to remind myself that while this is my vision I ran my ideas past 2 event planners and I hired a designer. I'm putting my faith into my vendors to make me look good. This is why it is so important to hire professionals. A true professional wants to be proud of their work since their name is on it. That's what you are paying them for. I'm sure your day will be beautiful!

At the end of the day, people remember the food and the party. No one remembers centerpieces, fancy napkins, or any of that.

Good food and a good party are all you need, which it sounds like you have. My wedding was simple too, and I'm still getting texts about how fun it was and how good the food was!

If you have good food, free booze, and a good DJ they won't notice your attire or centerpieces.

Yes, I have doubts about it now and then too. Mine will be pretty casual as well, even though I feel like some of the details were overly stressed about! I am just hoping that all the work will come together and will turn out as good as it is in my head. I fear that my "vision" will fall flat once it's all set up. Our venue is pretty rustic but we are not doing a rustic theme necessarily. We are adding a few little quirky touches that reflect us ao I'm hopeful that it won't look like a clusterfuck of crap. Either way it won't matter. No one will remember or even notice. We are having good food and free alcohol so that should be enough!