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Gabby
Dedicated September 2010

Wedding HATERS!!!

Gabby, on November 11, 2009 at 7:03 PM Posted in Planning 0 9

Okay, this is a vent, but I need some boosting up! Why do people have to be "Haters?!?!" Why can't people just realize that if we were more kind and supportive of each other the world would be so much better! My fiance & I are making some plans for our future (job, school, etc) to be ready to have a family in a few years. But one person (who has the ability to get close to us) is giving us grief! It's none of his business but he's using his influence to make things difficult for us. WHY??? Has anyone had an issue with announcing your engagement, making your plans and finding that one person who just can't support you? How did you handle it?

9 Comments

Latest activity by Gabby, on November 12, 2009 at 2:49 PM
  • Traci&Bob
    Master February 2010
    Traci&Bob ·
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    Yes Gabby and after a few times of getting hurt and angry I decided they can kiss my a**, lol. Now I do not let them know a damn thing about our day. If they ask a question, I give as little detail as possible. They gave me a snide comment about my lack of details in answering their questions and such and I looked at them and smiled and politely said, 'If you wouldn't have been an ass from the beginning, I would be delighted to tell you more'. Solved that problem Smiley smile

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  • JJ
    Master December 2009
    JJ ·
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    Wow, totally...i had wedding haters, even the day of...it was awful...i tried to ignore them the best I could....try to keep them busy at the wedding..so they will bug you less!....Maybe just a simple, direct "Thanks for sharing your thoughts, but we've got it covered. So there is no need for you to worry about our wedding. You will get your invitation soon.. Don't worry about the details. We have a team of volunteers to help already. Just enjoy yourself at the wedding and see you there. Bye!!!"

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  • Gabby
    Dedicated September 2010
    Gabby ·
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    Thanks everyone! I guess it just doesn't occur to me in my life to try to bring someone else down just because I wish I had something they did...or for some other reason. My FH is great about it. He's less emotional than I am. He just ignores it altogether! And I'm learning to do the same!

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  • soccrgrl05
    Dedicated June 2009
    soccrgrl05 ·
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    My husband's father did not approve of our wedding date. We got married in June, and I am FINALLY graduating college in December. He felt that it was stupid for us to get married while I was still in college. He made his sentiments known, and I just had to grin and bare it. (not to mention he said all this the first time he met my parents... 2 months before our wedding!!!!!) We shrugged it off and got married anyway. Now he could care less. Just let it blow over. You will be fine. GOOD LUCK!

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  • Mrs. Carmen
    Master September 2010
    Mrs. Carmen ·
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    Normally I would have said that anyone who is going to be a "hater" wouldn't be invited to my wedding anyway. However, I already don't talk to my mom as it is, so despite the fact that my dad has been pretty hurtful about our wedding date and honeymoon choice, I want him to be there. (His exact words on the two subjects were, "April 17th? Two days after tax day. That's a stupid idea." and "A NICE hotel in Paris? Yeah right! Go to London instead. Paris is cliche, and everyone will hate you anyway because you're American.") Every time the wedding comes up in conversation, he has something negative or passive aggressive to say it seems. So far I've been dealing with it by quickly changing the subject. But I'm about to snap and just tell him to shut it flat out. I guess my suggestion is, if they don't HAVE to be there, don't invite them. Obviously if they're not going to be supportive...right? If they MUST be there, try reminding them it's not about them. It's about you and what you want.

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  • Gabby
    Dedicated September 2010
    Gabby ·
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    I guess it all comes down to whether you are a negative thinker or not. For us, this person is no so much telling us bad things about the wedding, just having comments in general all along the way. We're taking good, healthy GROWN UP steps to set a good foundation...I think he's envious that he hasn't made good choices and won't make the sacrifices to change his situation. I'm NOT letting anyone rob me of my joy because everyone I trust is supportive and loving. And my fh and I are so excited to start our lives together. I guess in the end it's a reminder to me to be a more loving and supportive person to those around me. Thanks for your help everyone!

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  • MrsDevine
    Master August 2010
    MrsDevine ·
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    Lol weddings really do bring out the best or worst in people. one of my GOOD friends straight up told me, "you know, you guys getting married has ruined alot of relationships..." he was completely serious, and completely right. i dont hold anything against him for it cuz i knew what he meant. his girlfriend has been pressuring him to propose ever since, and their relation ship has been hurting alot... and another couple were close to just broke up because of the pressure. one was ready and the other wasnt. and our other 21 friends all feel like crap about it cuz their not even close to getting married yet. but everyone will have their day eventually and get over it. (btw our whole group of friends is very religious and in our type of lifestyle getting married younger is more common. lol. in the rest of the world its like your 25? no big deal you still got like 5 years till you should get married anway.. but to us its like, 25? wow what happened??) lol sorry ranting...

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  • J
    Dedicated October 2006
    Janey ·
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    This happened to myself and my husband when we were getting married. His friend...who was asked to be in our wedding kept asking my husband "Are you sure you wanna do this? You've been together for so long (ten years we were together when we got married), why get married now?" WTF??? I told my fiance "Who is he to give advice, he's the one who's been through a divorce and always cheats on his gf's." Since I'm not one to keep my mouth shut, I said something to his friend myself and he got mad and dropped out of our wedding a week and a half before the date. We were ok with that, why would we want someone in our wedding when he didn't support us to begin with. Then he showed up to the ceremony, didn't bother to say hi to me, went to the reception, ate dinner then left...haven't talked to the guy since.

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  • Gabby
    Dedicated September 2010
    Gabby ·
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    Wow. It's amazing that someone would say nothing for 10 years and then give you drama? Sounds like a jelousy problem!

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