Wedding guest rsvp No then says Yes, help!

I would tell the person who RSVP'd know that you plan on asking someone else to come and if they cone, that means no room for the original person.

That, or don't invite anyone else.

I don’t really understand what you’re asking or what two separate people have to do with it? If someone says no then changes their answer to yes, as long as you haven’t turned in your final head count, I don’t see the issue. If you have already turned it in, politely tell them that you’ve already given the caterer your final headcount.

I’m confused too.. just don’t invite more then 170 people

If someone says no you dont invite someone to take their place you only send out invites once and you make sure your count is at 170 if someone says no it's just less people coming.

Well if the two people both end up coming you tell your venue to make room for one more 🤷🏼‍♀️ That seems like the only option.

I think it's fine to go ahead and invite both, if your final number still stays under 170. For now, I recommend not doing a B-list to make sure you don't end up having to make this choice.

View Quoted Comment Yes I agree with this! We didn’t do a B list either. We only sent invites once and if someone said they couldn’t come, I didn’t invite someone in their place

I wouldn't invite more people as declines come in especially if your worried about your max capacity. It can get messy fast.

I would just invite the 170 you want there. Or whatever number you want. If at a later date you have people say they can't go, then if you have others you were on the fence with then invite them...

I understand the desire to do a B list for invites (which is what I think you are asking, kind of?), but I don't think it is wise. Additionally, I think the bigger issue is people bringing people who were not invited and going over your 170 that way. If your venue has a hard limit of 170 I would honestly invite closer to 165 to be safe- it happened to my sister which is why I mention it. Also when you get your RSVPs back it's fairly close to the wedding, I don't think this is a super common occurrence enough to worry about.

If you really wanted to pack your venue make sure you sent out save the dates, sometimes people will give you a verbal idea if they are coming or not, especially older relatives who have to travel.

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Yeah that definitely gets a little messy. I can understand it- we definitely had that thought but we are not doing it, it just feels a little tacky. We are only inviting the people we can afford, if less RSVP then we will save a bit of money which is fine with us lol

1. Trust that you will have so much to worry about with wedding planning that you should not start coming up with hypothetical situations to worry about.

2. Do not B list people. B-listing is when you wait until you have an RSVP no to invite someone else. It is extremely rude and complicated. (exibit a - your hypothetical situation)

3. If Bob RSVPs no then a week before the wedding says he can come after all, you have a choice. you can accommodate and be happy that Bob is able to come after all, or you can tell Bob that unfortunately the final numbers were already turned in and you are not able to accommodate him coming.

Don’t invite more than 170 and don’t fill in spots of declines if you’d prefer the decline-r have the seat.

I DID have a person who rsvp-ed as a no and later was able to come. I invited a husband and wife, the wife could come but the husband would be out of town. A week before the wedding they reached out and said that actually his plans changed and he WOULD be in town so would like to attend the wedding. I wasn’t about to say no to that! I did have to rearrange my tables and sadly had to shift them to sit with strangers bc her original table couldn’t accommodate another person, and it was easier (and fair) to shift them instead of breaking up and redistributing the entire table.

I cant imagine having to have said no to him ! Luckily though we had submitted numbers to our caterer , we had the option to ADD guests (no subtracting!) up to 48 hrs before the wedding . If I had needed to say no to accommodating him last minute, I suspect his wife would’ve dropped out too (it’s one thing to atttend a wedding alone when your husband is out of town and you’d be alone anyway , but a whole different story if you’re out partying knowing your husband is sitting home alone!). But the bottom line is, OF COURSE I did everything to accommodate him— We invited him because we wanted him there and were thrilled he was ultimately able to make it.

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I think she's saying that she wasn't able to invite a good friend because of lack of space. When the uncle RSVPd no, she thought she could fill that spot with the friend, without going over on her numbers. Then the uncle says he can make it at the last minute.

This is a tough situation. I hope I didn't misstate what she was trying to say. That's what I got from the post. Unfortunately, I don't know how to resolve that. Our wedding isn't that big. If I was in that situation, I wouldn't be trying to fill the spots of people who said no, with others that never got an invite originally. I think people on here call it the "B" list. Too much room for things to go wrong.

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This...exactly this.

The only way I see that this is okay if one of your original guests recently just got a boyfriend or girlfriend after you had finalized your guest list and send out invites. So if they asked to bring their new SO you would have to say "unfortunately we are at max with invited guests and if someone declines I could let you know closer to when my final head count is due" (in case uncle says no and then decides yes). If you had someone change their minds and can attend before that final head count day, then that extra person can't come. I wouldn't have an entire B list for every time someone declines. And I wouldn't agree to any B list person, again as close as possible to final head count, in case an originally invited guest has a change of plans and can come. Hope this makes sense!

View Quoted Comment You got it exactly! After reading all the post, no B list for us! The torture for us, is not being able to invite everyone we would like to be there.

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I totally understand!! That's been one of the hardest things for me too. I've had to limit the guest list because of our budget, so there are some that aren't making the cut. It's hard.

Don't invite more than you can afford, firstly. Keep open lines of communication and have a firm deadline for RSVPs so that the only change you can allow is if someone cancels last minute due to unforeseen circumstances. You can save money- but if It's not there , it's not there. So if you mark them down as no, before you give the final guest count to your vendors, follow up with everyone and let them know that if something happens last minute, you're sorry, but you're not going to be able to accommodate for them because you're giving your vendors the final head count that weekend.

Also, I know it's tempting to have a fill in for extra spaces, but unless you can afford EVERYONE you invite to come, don't invite extras.

If you send out an invite and someone declines, I think it is 100% fair to invite someone else. I am sorry but I don't understand the line of thinking that you are suppose to just short yourself when someone says no.