Wedding gift

Why not skip giving cash and give a gift from the registry instead? Then it's less obvious that they gave X and you gave Y. Registry items have prices, but I've gotten stuff on sale (ex. Bought stuff from BBB with the 20% off coupons they send all the time) so it's less clear what dollar amount is spent.

View Quoted Comment Took the words right out of my mouth... Wish she was around to say them herself

View Quoted Comment Is there a reason everyone is speaking about Celia in past tense?? She used to be very active, and I’m just recently realizing I haven’t seen any comments from her..

1)Vendors can't post fmm anymore. 2) there seems to be some confusion as the op wasn't the one that said anything about the geography unless I am confused lol.

I usually give between $100-200 a head for wedding gifts. Yes, covering your plate IS a thing in the Northeast and I would feel uncomfortable giving less than $100 per person in this area.

Don't over think it. Got with your gut!

Maybe that's all she could afford. I only gave $20 once because that's ALL I could give. At least I didn't show up empty handed.

Give what you are comfortable and able in your budget.

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I like this idea! I also echo the posters who said it is nice of you to be considerate of your friend's feelings. If they have a registry, it could be a good compromise.

Think about it from her perspective as a bride. If you don’t remember how much people gave you, will she? She may feel “bad” in regards to her financial situation at that time and being all she could give OR she may have thought that was a reasonable gift and in no way would think that you were one-upping her or being showy. Give what you would give regardless of her gift.

If you REALLY didn’t care about gifts, you wouldn’t be asking this question.

Give the gift you feel is appropriate.

View Quoted Comment This is totally fine, you’re definitely overthinking about it!

View Quoted Comment For your judgemental information, I REALLY don't care about gifts..... All I care about is not insulting or hurting my friends feelings. My question has nothing to do with my affinity for gifts, as I stated, it's about doing what's most appropriate in what I feel is a touchy situation.

View Quoted Comment This is very true. She probably won't even remember what I give her because it will blend in with all the other gifts.... I'll stick to my usual amount.

View Quoted Comment I wasn’t trying to be judgemental, that’s why I commented again to clarify since I couldn’t edit. I’m just saying you’re definitely overthinking. Just pretend like you don’t know what she gave you and go from there

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I agree with this %100!

We have 3 weddings to go to in the month after ours. If these couples give us money, I plan to set it aside until them and give the exact same amount back.

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I disagree. If she gave a lot more, it might be perceived as not appreciating what they gave her, and if she gave less you could appear greedy. I think it's a valid question.

I would give back what they gave you. It depends on the friendship here.

I would just give what you normally do. It’s not like $150 is an obscene amount.

View Quoted Comment My point is just that there are a million ways we could presume the original gifter might perceive a gift, but only the original gifter knows how they’ll feel, so it’s pointless trying to think too much about it. She could feel bad or she could feel tremendously appreciative of a nice gift from someone who might know she is in a tough spot financially, she could feel nothing at all. She could be a perfectly lovely person who just doesn’t have wedding etiquette experience and gives small gifts. Because there are so many ways it could go , i find it easiest to take gifts received out of the equation, and jus but give what I feel is appropriate given my relationship with the person.

It works both ways too. I would feel horrible if someone I gave a nice gift to because I was in a position to at the time felt obligated to be extra generous. In those instances too, I would hope that they would take my gift out of consideration, instead of stretching to try to even it out

View Quoted Comment I can understand why she doesn't want to give too much because as others have said, it might sting a little bit if the person felt like they were showing off compared to what they gave. I would just give at the low end of what you normally give.