Wedding gift

I would give the same amount she gave you

As the great Celia Milton always said “give as you are moved and able”. If you can give more and want to give more, give more. Maybe she hit a really hard month and couldn’t give anymore than $25 at that time. It shouldn’t reflect what you are moved to give them.

Giving the same is petty. Gift what you would normally gift. Maybe they couldn’t afford to give more. Be grateful they gave you anything.

I wouldn't feel comfortable giving $25. I just couldn't. And I totally don't judge her for giving $25. I appreciate the thought and her taking her time to come. I guess I'm just trying to get a feel for what others would do?

I agree. I'm not trying to send any message or give any negative vibe by giving exactly what she gave... not my intention at all. She's a really good/nice person. I'm thinking I'll give 100-150? But not sure if that's too little?

Weddings gifts are not tit for tat. If you're not comfortable giving $25 then don't.

I would gift her the same as I always gift at weddings. For H and I, we start at $200 and go up depending on our relationship with the couple getting married. For this kind of friend it would just be the $200.

Your friend probably would have given more if they were able to and might feel embarrassed that $25 was all they could do. I would give them a generous gift if you are able, but I'd also not go overboard so as not to accidentally embarrass them further. $75-100 might be more appropriate here than $150-200 in an attempt to be sensitive.

That's my other concern. I don't want to give too much and seem like I'm shoving it in their face... idk I'm probably overthinking it.

I am wondering something similar. We got a gift card for our wedding which is in two weeks. They sent a $50 giftcard. The couple is coming from Virginia to Long Island for our wedding. I am not sure if they have ever been to a Long Island wedding so I don't know if they know how weddings are here and that might be an average gift for them geographically. I honestly do not care about the gift, the fact that they are traveling to come means so much to us.

We are going to their wedding this summer. We usually give $300 for a wedding gift, I will probably downscale that as I don't want them to feel awkward not so much as a response to their gift.

It’s a little contradictory, though. You said you don’t know who gave what because you don’t care about gifts. But you know exactly how much she gave and by what method (check). You stated how much you would gift at any other wedding. There is your answer. You’re saying you aren’t, but you 100% are taking into consideration how much you were gifted by this person.

View Quoted Comment I've been there, I think it's considerate of you to be sensitive to this. Like I said though, any more than $100, I would feel like my friend was rubbing it in my face a little but only because I would already feel self-conscious about it in the first place.

View Quoted Comment Please read my other responses. Her gift is literally the only one I remember because it was a bizarre number in my opinion. I couldn't tell you what any of the other 150 people gave me wether it was $75 or $500. I usually give between $150-$300 depending on the type of event and our relationship. On many occasions I have given more for family, etc. I'm asking because I want to do what is most appropriate. I'm nervous about giving what I usually give because I don't want to seem like I'm throwing it their face that I have more money kind of thing. Im trying to gauge the most appropriate amount for this odd situation.

I’ve been taught that a gift should at least “cover your plate.” So more casual weddings I normally try to give at least $50. And fancy weddings I try for at least $100.

That being said, everyone runs into hard times. I’ve been to a wedding where I could only afford to give $25. When I came acrossed some extra money I send them a nice card and present for their new home. I would not be upset as a bride to receive a $25 check. It should be “give as you are able.”

That’s my thought.

View Quoted Comment Thank you! I'm not trying to be all "she only gave me $25 so I'm only giving her $25" .. that's not my intention at all. I want to do what is appropriate and avoid making it seem like I'm being "showy" with money. I don't want to make her feel bad but I also don't want to give a cheap gift. It's a fine line.

View Quoted Comment I did read and I understand. I’m really not trying to come off as a jerk. She’s getting married soon, she probably couldn’t afford more but wanted to give you a gift. I understand wanting to be sensitive to the situation, but I think regardless you should go by your standard gifting amount. I don’t thin $150 is shoving it in her face, $300 yes maybe.

"Covering their plate" is not a thing. Gifts are not mandatory. I would give the person the benefit of the doubt and be grateful for the $25 cheque. I would gift them in accordance with my own personal budget.

View Quoted Comment I thought a gift was what they can afford, not based on geographic location. I've had a few weddings where I had to spend thousands to fly and stay there and it did ultimately affect my gift amount.

OP, In this case, I wouldn't take into account what they gave you. Give them what you can afford to give.

View Quoted Comment So agree! No one likes petty.

I think if you give her $300 it will make her feel bad about her gift to you. If I gave a friend $25 because it was all I could afford, I would expect a similiar amount back as a gift. I think anything over $100 will seem too showy on your part but only you know your friend and can judge what her reaction will be.