Wedding gift when I HATE the groom?

I'd give them the cash, it sounds like she's going to need it if he's caused her to go that deep into debt.

We faced this scenario last year where neither of us liked the bride. We knew the groom was big into cooking, so we got them a set of high quality steak knives. They'll both benefit but it was pretty obvious the gift skewed towards the groom. Consider that - find a gift idea that goes along with the bride's favorite hobbies.

I would just give cash personally. You don't want to get caught up in the middle of that. I get your stance, being her friend and MOH, but she's made her decision on who she wants to marry and the best thing you can do is just be there to support her.

Is there something on their registry that is primarily for her benefit? For example, does she love to bake? Adore coffee? Have a secret affinity for crystal glassware?

It's pretty clear what items are for her vs. him... If you're trying to not make it obvious (which I don't see why not, since you are MOH afterall), things that stand out to me trying to stereotype..

Things to buy: towels, sheets, kitchen items, cleaning items, decorative items, luggage

Things to stay away from: Grill items, bar items, convenience items

This is the girl that asked me to just give her cash for her honeymoon as a bridal shower gift. They don't have enough $ to go on a two part honeymoon that they already booked so they are hoping to get enough cash at the wedding. They couldn't compromise on an affordable honeymoon spot so they decided to just book both of their dream vacations and hope when the time comes they can pay for it. I dont want to give them cash.

Why are you MOH? It sounds like you don't like the bride very much either lol

I agree with Joe. If she likes to cook, get her a set of pots and pans or knives. If she doesn't cook, look at the registry and choose something you think she would use more than he would. Hard to suggest specific things without knowing more about her.

A very nice gift card for dinner back home?

Can you get something for her portion of the honeymoon? It's ridiculous that they are going on two, but could you get something that is specific for her destination spot?

If you can't, there has to be items on her registry that are more geared toward her, but will still benefit him.

Sorry I am just frustrated with her right now. She is his doormat. He told her what color her dress had to be and tried to tell the bridesmaids that the dress that the bride and us girls picked out was not really in his vision. He wanted us to take them back 2 months before the wedding and find something else. Once all of us refused he threw a fit and didn't talk to anyone in the bridal party for an night when they were throwing a cookout.

Oy vey..... I would give cash and back away from this couple slowly. Your friend isn't close enough to value your opinion about her well being, so it doesn't seem like you are that close to begin with.

Just kidding. I'd run.

If she really is your friend, give her something you know she'll enjoy and appreciate, regardless of whether he'll benefit from it or not. But honestly, you don't seem to like her very much either.

I'm sorry you don't like him but there isn't much you about that. She's your friend and you are her MOH. I would assume you know her?. Do you not know her interests? Other than Cash. Fav sports teams stuff for their home, bath stuff, baking/cooking things, or anything that's related to something she would like off the registry.

Do even really care about her? lol

Write a check and accidentally only put her last name on it so it can only be cashed to her.

Man am I in the same boat as you. We're just giving cash, but to be honest it's going to be a little light considering we just found out the only reason they are getting married is because the bride gave the groom an ultimatum and that the groom paid for a blowjob at his bachelor party last Saturday (this isn't just gossip, he for real did it).

^^ that is disgusting eek!

Wow @Nicole, not sure if that's better or worse than the lifesaver...

Nicole - I can't believe we are just hearing about this. I think we need details, like how much was said blow job and like the lifesaver was this a public performance? Were lifesavers involved?