Wedding Gift Opening

First off, I'm glad to know we aren't the only one's in this position. We leave for the airport/honeymoon at 6:00 a.m., right from our hotel that we are staying at after the wedding reception. We are wondering how we are going to handle similar logistics like wedding gifts/cards, even the wedding dress and other items. This is such a huge concern for me. We determined the only person we trust is FH's mom. With all of that said, I have heard years ago couples opening up cards with their families (moms and dads) but I come from an old fashioned Italian family - whose families hosted (paid for the weddings) - so I can see the bride and groom opening gifts in front of the family who paid for their wedding perhaps? It is also a nice opportunity to get together with close family after the wedding and honeymoon - but geez Louize you can do that without having to open up gifts with them. So, I would say this is a thing in old fashioned families who probably footed the bill for the wedding. ?? I had heard about it, but years ago.

It is a thing. In my area, it seems like everyone does it.

I was adamantly against it. My parents and ILs gave us a hard time about it, but it was something I was not comfortable doing at all. H and I opened our boxed gifts alone the night we got back form our honeymoon. We opened our cards the next day. I feel like it's no one's business but you and H's what gifts you get and from whom.

I'm from around detroit too, and I've never heard of that. I'm with you in thinking that's kind of a private thing. If you get actual gifts I think that would be ok, but the cards with checks in them would probably be more for just you and your fh.

@Meg...thats kind of what I'm leaning towards suggesting...I'm ok with opening physical gifts in front of them (I did it at the shower), but maybe suggest that we leave the cards for us to do together, ALONE, at home.

I went to a day-after brunch where the couple opened gifts, but I actually don't think they opened cards in front of people, just physical gifts. I'd open the cards at home and any physical gifts you can open with others if you want. If your FH insists, you can discretely open the card, read the message and not tell everyone what money was inside.

Where I'm from, they make a big event of it the day after the wedding and they legit call it a "gift opening". We opted not to have one for the same reason you're uncomfortable with it. Also, having spent the entire wedding day with people, I honestly didn't want to see any of our guests again, I wanted to be left alone.

I'm from WI and its a thing here where you open your physical gifts...normally the next day in front of close family but normally cards with money waits till you get home. We opened our cards in front of my parents because we were staying here. I get where your coming from.

Yeah it's a think all right, though done less and less as couples host their own weddings.

I like the idea of opening or sharing the contents of boxed gifts with interested parties (ie: parents). The money, not so much. I am wondering if fmil likes to keep a mental or physical list in order to know what to give in return.

If she asks how much so-and-so gave you can always say "They were very generous" or insert whatever word would fit.

Three days and GORGEOUS weather forecast!!!

I would want to open them privately.

Oh man, I do not want to open them in front of someone else! That is definitely something we will do privately.

I have never heard of opening wedding gifts in front of anyone else, i was planning on opening them at home just the two of us. i have never heard of anyone opening it in front of other people

FIL's wanted us to do that but I flat out said no. I hate opening gifts in front of everyone and since they are all addressed to the two of us and not bride, groom and FIL's, then it's none of their business.

@JaKLyn...I wouldn't want to open them in front of that crazy woman either!

No....well, we were at my dad's house the day after our wedding before we left for our honeymoon. While we were organizing everything we opened our gifts/cards. Technically it was in front of my dad, he was sitting in the room, but he was on the computer and DH and I were on the couch reading cards. It's one thing to have had him in the room and another thing to read the card/gift allowed and announce it. I wouldn't be comfortable doing that either.

I would not be comfortable opening them in front of others either. I actually think it's a little weird they'd want to watch that.

I love FFIL and even doing it with him just makes me uncomfortable. It's just not polite in my book. I could totally see my FMIL critiquing what people had gotten us, or then complaining that some people "outgifted" her and FFIL

We took cards back to our B&B with us on the wedding night, and my parents took home any boxed gifts. We planned to open the cards the next morning, but we actually ended up opening about 5-10 cards that night. It is really touching to see what people write in cards. We opened the rest of them the following morning just after breakfast. Then we went to my parents house and opened the gifts together (just the two of us), before a family reception that afternoon.

I would feel awkward. When my oldest sister got married, they were leaving for a trip the very next day. So I went to my parent's house in the morning for the day after get together and my sister and brother-in-law were on the floor in the living room frantically signing and endorsing over checks for my mother to deposit in the bank for them before they leave for vacation (they went on a "vacation" to Disney and then went straight from there to their actual honeymoon. I don't know. It was weird). It was uncomfortable watching them do this. They did it before anyone showed up for the day after get together, but still I felt uncomfortable.

So my mom is a nosey bitch, putting it nicely. So she was keeping track of what peopel gave and made comments about how she gave this much to so and so for their child's graduation and how come they only gave this much for their wedding. (Note: My mother works in a grocery store and has her whole life. She thinks anyone who makes over $40k is a snobby B who should give their money to someone more deserving, like her) So, 7 years later, when I was asking who to invite from our family, she was saying not to invite this cousin because they only gave x amount for the entire family and invite x person I don't know because they gave $100 and so on. It was disgusting.

I wouldn't open in front of them just because the older generations seem to "keep tabs" and care how much someone gives. So yeah, I agree with you that it's strange.

I hope we do not get pressured into opening gifts in front of everyone...but I know we will probably have to. This is the thing; I know the night of the wedding my DOC will pack up the gifts into my mom's SUV and I am going to have her take that stuff home. Obviously, she will have to bring the gifts to me and FH's house on the Sunday after the wedding and she will probably stay as we open gifts. If anyone, I would prefer my mom to be there and NOT my FILS. My mom wouldn't judge or make mention of what we receive but I know my FILS absolutely would comment on what we get (say well THAT was an EXPENSIVE gift). I can just hear it now.

LOL...you just reminded me of something, Maltese. I remember a very disappointed husband as I walked into the hotel room on the night of our wedding. I jumped on the bed, he smiled, and I said, "Give me those envelopes!". His smile faded...fast.

I couldn't wait until the next day, but with countless envelopes filled with cash, who can? If you have the patience to wait, then it should be done the next day and only in couple's presence. I can't think of anything more awkward that opening a card in front of a group of people and saying, "Oh, Aunt Mary gave us $65", to which someone could say, "Well, you know Uncle Bob didn't leave her in great condition when he died. A gambler, you know", or "Holy cow...the Smiths gave us $350! Score!". Just awkward.

We went to my MILs the day after the wedding right before we left for our honeymoon. We were there to open the few boxed gifts we received. Not much of a surprise though. A lamp that isn't in a box kind of looks like a lamp when it's gift wrapped, and everything else, thanks to my MIL's directive to everyone on my husband's side of the family, was place setting after place setting of china. So, that was fun...