Wedding Favors vs. Donations

Any one who doesn't like the idea is selfish, and doesn't like the idea of going to a wedding and not getting some knick knack to take home. So tacky! You go girlfriend!

Elle, I don't like the idea of donations to certain charities because some of these charities (like ARC, Susan G Komen, United Way, Unicef, Goodwill, etc) have CEOs who make ENORMOUS salaries. Talented people deserve to make money, but this is sort of a slap in the face: http://www.charitywatch.org/hottopics/Top25.html

@ Jean the entire premise of a wedding is self centered. It's a party solely about two people and their choice to get married. I personally thinking getting a nic-nac no one can ever use again with their name and wedding date on it is more self centered than putting one card on a table saying a donation was made.

@Amber: But the knick knacks would have a purpose. They'd be a gift to the guest. The card has absolutely no reason to be there other than to serve the couple. I'm not even arguing for favors but your argument doesn't make sense.

I agree with JHazel, if you are going to do a donation-- just do it without telling your guests so. Or do it in our wedding program if you have to. No need to tell your guests, and no need for wedding favors if you didn't want to favors anyway.

I personally am of the opinion that favors are of no importance and a waste of money. I think that food, alcohol and music is a favor in itself and have said that before but I would never judge someone for their choice to put they donated money at their own wedding. To me the card is to raise awareness to a charity that is close to our hearts and if someone chooses to see it as some sort of self serving act then whatever. To say people should do it on their own time is silly to me my wedding IS my time im not coming to your birthday party and saying "in lieu of a present i have donated $25 dollars to *****"

@Elle yes I am so selfish because I donate monthly to St Judes and Wounded Warrior, but think that it seems arrogant and self centered to tell all of your wedding guests that instead of getting them something for attending your wedding, you donated money. A selfish person would have to run around making a big deal on their wedding date about how they have donated all of this money to charity because they are such good people they have only donated once in their life and made sure that everyone knew it.

@Elle: A lot of people have commented that they would rather see no favor than a donation "favor". It isn't about whether or not you are receiving something, it's that a donation is not wedding related. I personally don't like the idea of advertising your donations - at any event. If you want to make a donation, do it in private. As mentioned already, favors are not required and will not be missed if they choose to spend the money on a donation to their favorite charity instead. What's tacky about that?

I have seen these at a few weddings and honestly have never thought twice about it. I have also received many favors that have gone directly in the trash, or donated to charity after the wedding because it is something I would never use. If the charity has a special place in your hearts, your family and friends should know that - and they will probably think this makes sense. Personally I would also rather see a donation " favor" than no favor at all.

@Katie: A donation favor is "no favor at all".

I agree with Amber. Look, you have the choice to do the travel, and take the time off work to attend a wedding. You also tend to receive a free meal, alcohol, and a good time all for free when you do attend. I don't understand what else you could really want... a favor, edible or not, what does that do to chip into the costs you elected to spend to attend the wedding in the first place? To me, that's the same thing as expecting a guest to cover their food cost at a wedding by the amount that they spend on the wedding gift. Take it for what it is, it's a gesture. Are their truths to some of these charities having awful CEO's, sure! To combat that, you're better off donating to a local chapter of one of these charities, versus the BIG name, corporate charity. For example, if you really value the Ronald McDonald House Charity, and want to be sure your money benefits those in your immediate community, then donate to the LOCAL chapter of that charity. Some people may not understand the difference between the corporate charity and the local ones (and most think money is passed down from the corporate charity to the local charities) but that doesn't always happen the way it should happen. As long as you make your donation to the local version/representative of that particular charity, I see no reason as to why someone would not be "for" something like this. As long as you aren't donating to a Nazi campaign or something in lieu of favors, I don't see how this could be bad. I also reiterate my other statement about having all of your guests actual names on the donation. Where are you going to have the opportunity to list out every single person that you're donating this money on behalf of?!

I think it's an amazing idea. I also think it's your wedding and if you want to do a donation instead of favors, its amazing. I wish I had heard about this before. I honestly would rather give to charity to give some knick knack/edible favor that no one will ever remember. My family and friends know what are two charities are and why.. I would honestly question someone that thought it was rude or offensive for us to give to a charity. My charities do tie into our wedding.. they are the two reasons that the two people we love the most can't be in attendance. The final point being, only you can decide what is right for you and your FH. If you want to make a donation, I say do i!

Basically no one is going to change anyone's mind on it. You can get your edible favors but not all of your guests will like what you get and they'll leave them or put them in the trash which, to me, is just money wasted but it's your money to waste. If I chose to use my money to donate it to something that's my choice and if i chose to use 3x5 square inches of the table on the one wedding day i get to mention it and let people know it's important to us then that is also my choice and if you chose to judge me for it that is your choice and everyone lives with their choices and goes on their marry ways. Basically katie everyone will judge you no matter what you do at the end of the day do what feels best for you. You aren't hurting anyone by donating to a charity. My brother did that for his wedding and after the wedding 5 people looked into the charity and decided to donate so even if the other 145 people at that wedding judged him (which im sure they didn't) five people felt compelled to give something to a charity that was really important to them and in the end giving did more good than judging.

I do like getting favors and I don't even care if names and dates are on them. I use them for a little while. Most favors are cheaply made and don't last long anyway and at some point they get tossed out. But I do use them for a period of time. I'm not even a big fan about edible favors because I think handing out more food is just part of the wedding in general. But I would never ever make anyone feel bad about any type of favor they handed out because it comes from the heart and it's what they sincerely think their guests would like. I wouldn't miss it if I didn't get one and a donation was done in lieu of. I say go with your gut feeling and do what you want.

Eleanor that is why I put favor in quotes - it isn't a favor.

RusticBride brings up a good point though about listing individual names - I'm not sure if that's possible or if it would just have to be " The wedding of Mr and Mrs" - in that case it does sound kind of silly. I doubt that you can list 200 people on a donation... I have changed my opinion now - if you want to make a donation to a charity instead of having a favor, do it - but don't say it's on behalf of your guests unless you are individually naming them - just donate in your and FH names. I never really thought of that perspective!

If you want to donate to a charity, donate to a charity, as much as you can and as often as you can and don't brag about it. It's not a favor, nor do you need to have favors at all. I'm not crazy about the signs that say, 'instead of a favor we gave money to a charity you might or might not agree with." But then, I don't care about favors at all.

CEO'S of any corporation, and make no mistake about it, charities are corporations, deserve to be compensated for being at the helm. It's really easy to find out the expense to donation ratio when you decide where to give money; happy to say that my personal cause, Puppies Behind Bars, is about as good as it gets that way.

I think it's a sweet gesture, especially if you have a connection with the hospital. I can see people getting up in arms about it, so maybe have a small sign somewhere or a "table" designated to the hospital with information about it and maybe a small story about why it means so much to you.