Wedding Favors vs. Donations

I personally don't get bothered by the donation thing. I think it's a sweet gesture and a better way to spend money.

I think that is so wonderful! There was a my fair wedding when the favor was a $1 coin and a wishing well and all the money went to the local children's hospital (I think maybe it was make a wish) but I think its great!

Are you going to tell your guests?

I wouldn't think anything of it - I think it's a nice idea and better than a favor that will get thrown away. I also think you could just skip the favors completely and not do anything, but either way is ok.

Honestly, I'd rather have that than going to something I won't think twice about throwing away once I'm home.

I actually love this idea and as a guest would rather the bride and groom put their money towards something more useful like a children's hospital or animal shelter rather than give me another personalized deck of cards or matchbooks (no offense to anyone doing those!)

I like the idea of donating to a charitable organization instead of favors. Unless its edible, most favors end up in the trash anyway.

I don't go to a wedding to take home a favor. If a couple decides to spend that money on a donation to a charity of their choice rather than a candy to take home, fine with me.

The only thing I don't like about doing this is the posting of a sign that says "in lieu of favors...". Like Erin said, if you want to donate to whatever charity you want, go for it. There's no reason to tell anyone and there's no reason for it to be in place of favors. It can kind of feel like rubbing it in people's faces that you donated money.

I agree with Erin 100%. I think maybe that is why it comes off as "odd" for lack of better words. I donate every month, doesn't mean I am going to have cards on my wedding tables telling my guests so. "In lieu of favors" kind of seems like well since I was suppose to get you something(which favors aren't necessary) I decided to donate instead!

I confess, in general I hate the 'donation in lieu of gifts' trend, but I consider favors to be a HUGE exception, since most people don't want them, anyway-- put the money to better use by donating to a charity of your choice. And if it's not a charity of *their* choice, so what? Like the dollar from their particular favor would make any difference to a charity-- it's only the lump sum for *all* the favors that matters. Go for it-- I think it's great idea!

I don't agree that it is rubbing in peoples faces. I think it is a generous thing to do and brings awareness to an charity that is important to you with your guests. We are doing that. FH's father passed away from lung cancer a little over a year ago. We are doing a donation to the lung cancer alliance and putting a little card on the table. If people chose to get offended over it then they probably are the type to get offended over pretty much everything. We are doing it in memory of his father and to spread word of a charity we find is really important to us.

Agreed with Erin. It's awesome you want to donate to a hospital that you guys care about, which you should totally do, but I don't like the whole putting a sign up thing. They're irrelevant to each other.

Irrelevant and some people are picky about which charity their name is attached to. For instance, I'd never donate to Susan G. Komen. And I wouldn't want my name on a donation list to them either. Same goes for the American Red Cross.

Just don't do favors and donate the money on your own.

I was one of the people on that thread probably who didn't get why it was such a big deal to do this, and even asked the question about certain people putting "Save the Tatas" or other "cause" like bumper stickers on their cars. I was told that was "bragging," etc. etc. Look, this world is so selfish now in so many ways. I wouldn't turn away any GLIMPSE of generosity, and I think if you guys have a cause that means that much to you, and this is how you want to honor that, then go for it. I'm all for it.

ETA: If you can argue that children or animals aren't worthy causes, then I would be deeply surprised.

I don't care for the trend but I wouldn't be offended by it unless someone donated specifically in my name. I'm very picky about what organizations I donate to so I wouldn't want my name on a donation list for a charity I haven't vetted. I do a lot of research before I donate to any organization.

I'd also be curious to know if anyone would literally sit there and put in each guests name onto this particular donation that you'd be making on their behalf. Maybe I just don't fully understand that part of the concept.

I went to a wedding where they did a donation instead of wedding favors and I didn't think twice about it. I don't see what the big deal is.

I agree with Erin. My feeling is that if you want to donate your money and support a cause, that's great and you should do so, but I don't see it as a "wedding favor" - which isn't required anyhow. I think if you are going to donate, there is no need to advertise it at your wedding. And for that matter, there is no need to explain a lack of a favor. Most people won't notice anyway.

You aren't donating for guests it is done by the bride and groom for their own reasons

No favours are fine saying instead we have given money is not

Im with Jean - give favors or dont

and i agree with erin - your donation has nothing to do with me as a guest so i dont really care for the trend as i dont want my name on charities i may not be supportive of.

id rather see no favor....but regardless i like favors - its a small appreciation for coming and spending a special day with us!