Wedding Etiquette with Staff

You should feed anyone that will be working for you for 5+ hours. Many vendors will require a meal in their contract. Some think it’s fine to serve them a lower quality meal than the rest of the guests. I personally wouldn’t do it, but it’s not the end of the world. Yes, you should absolutely tip them on top of that. A turkey sandwich isn’t an acceptable tip for a full day of work.

Vendor meals are pretty standard and were actually in our contracts. Our caterer provided vendor meals at a cheaper rate than the regular guests ($35 instead of $130). Also, unless they own their own business, it's always appreciated to tip vendors if you feel like they did well.

Yes you should feed them, and many require it, as said above. I’m going to ask mine if they want the plated meal or the sandwich option (apparently some prefer the sandwich cus they have so much wedding food!) and yes, you have to tip them as well.

You definitely provide food to vendors who stay for a majority of your wedding and unless they do something wrong or don't meet your expectations, you should also definitely tip. There are quite a few good wedding vendor tipping guides if you search google. Here is the one I think I'll be going by for the most part.

https://www.brides.com/story/complete-list-wedding-vendors-gratuity-tip-how-much

Yes you feed them. They will be working 5+ hours with no break. Your caterer regularly makes vendor meals at a discount. Let them know how many you need.

No you only tip if the go above and beyond. You do not for bad service or no shows or simply doing their job. You wait until after the wedding is over (after the honeymoon) when you have an objective mind, instead of being distracted on cloud 9, so you are able to assess their work. Again only tip if they above and beyond.

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much for your input. I guess I will include that when I meet with my caterer.

View Quoted Comment Got it! Thank you so much! Needed to confirm that.

View Quoted Comment Thank you!

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much for the website! It’s very clearly explained! Thank you!

View Quoted Comment Got it! Thank you! I just did not want to offend people if I think they do an alright job.

If your vendors will be working half a day or more (generally 4-5 hours +) such as your photographer(s), band etc you should ensure they are fed. Many caterers will offer discounted ‘crew’ meals for the staff working the wedding.

I live in Australia so we don’t tip here because of our wages but hopefully someone else can address that!

Yep you should definitely feed your vendors in addition to tipping them. Talk to your caterer about setting up vendor meals. Our caterer arranged a buffet for our vendors because we had a lot of them (because of the 9-person live band). It wasn’t the exact same thing that we ate but (that wasn’t possible because we had a multi course meal) but it was high quality hot food prepared by our caterer. I would recommend reaching out to your caterer about serving vendor meals

Yes you should definitely feed your vendors, and I recommend feeding them the same as your guests. Unfortunately it’s 2021 and professionalism is out the window and you have to treat your vendors like babies. You have to feed them possibly change their diapers if needed. Grown adults don’t know how to pack their own meals when they’re hired to do a job so it’s best to just add them in the headcount.


As far as tip goes, yes you should always tip them 20%. It is pretty ridiculous in my opinion because you’re already paying these people an exorbitant amount of money. It’s not like they’re waiters or waitresses making $2.89 an hour, nevertheless they feel entitled to 20% tips. It’s best to just give them what they want. It’s only for one day and you wouldn’t want them taking it out on your photos/wedding video etc. because there’s still editing that has to be done.

Absolutely feed them some will be working 10+ hours. The venue picks the food but normally they eat what you eat. Tipping is 15-20% for mua/ hair, planner, photographer, and officiant. On a side note as a planner sometimes I’m working 14-16 hours in a day at a wedding if you gave me a sandwich for my only meal I would be very disheartened.

Totally agree with everyone on providing food & tips. My caterer even mentioned that they are providing extra food for everyone that’s working our wedding.

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Yikes! Did you have a bad experience with vendors or something?

Yes, vendors can bring their lunch, but sometimes it's not always doable. I had a wedding where I had no time at all to eat because of toasts being given during dinner and if I had to go all the way to my car to get my food (the parking lot was far away to where we had to take golf carts), I would have missed them! The reason vendors request to be fed is so that they can quickly get their meal and be ready for the rest of the evening (this is also why we request to be fed when the bridal party is fed). As for a tip, we don't expect them. As a vendor myself, in the business for 5 years, I can only count on 1 hand how many times I've gotten a tip. It's always super appreciated but not necessary.

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Wow, this is all so harsh. Treat them like babies? Change their diapers? I sincerely hope your disdain for your vendors doesn't show in your communications/actions to them or you might get treated exactly as you deserve.

For all the OP, like nearly everyone said, meals for vendors are usually in their contracts. And even if not, just a courtesy that doesn't cost much (as a percentage of total budget) but goes a long way toward showing your vendors how much you appreciate their efforts.

And yeah, while you can of course choose to tip or not, it is the custom in the US at least (I can't speak to the customs in other countries) for this type of work. And providing meals has nothing to do with tipping.

View Quoted Comment Wow! Not sure what state you live in, but where I’m from you absolutely have to tip the vendors. In my personal opinion it’s just another one of those added on wedding costs that don’t actually make any sense at all.
I’ve waited tables and bartended for many years throughout high school and college. I made 20% tip every time because I was only making $2.89 an hour. And to add to that, often times I would be busting my butt for eight hours straight running around snacking on protein bars in between or getting in a few quick bites of whatever it was that I had. No my meal was never hot by the time I got to take a few quick bites. Never once did I ever sit down and have a nice meal. Never once did I ever demand to have the same meal that the people that I was serving was eating. And keep in mind, no they weren’t paying me thousands of dollars for my shift either.

Not discrediting what you do at all, and not seeing your job is easy, but I’m simply saying you’re not exactly doing the job for free either, and you’re not exactly a guest attending my wedding. Regardless I do it anyway because it is “the right thing to do “. Sidenote, I actually really love my vendors and they are extremely professional and have been for the most part very spot on this entire time with planning and that is why I am more than happy to give them the exact same food that everyone else is eating and tip them for their services.

View Quoted Comment Nope, I actually really like all of my vendors. Which is why I am more than happy to offer them the same everything as my guests. Which is also why I don’t mind tipping them the 20% at the end. But yes I will defend my statements to the fullest. The vast majority of vendors act as if they're some sort of wedding guest. I personally see things like that as very unprofessional.

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Hmm, ok, you do a good job of acting as if you don't like them. But hey, we don't know each other in real life and maybe you are actually quite pleasant. If that is the case, then I apologize for assuming you aren't treating your vendors well.