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M
Master November 2010

Wedding etiquette says this about wedding invitations...

Mrs. Turner2B, on June 24, 2010 at 10:34 PM Posted in Planning 0 27

..when you are inviting a family, you send one invitation to each adult child. I have several families who have 2 or 3 adult children living at home and I think it's a waste of money to send 4 invitations to one household. Am I wrong if I just mail to Mr. and Mrs. John Doe and Family?

27 Comments

Latest activity by Karen, on June 9, 2019 at 12:33 AM
  • Rosie
    Master June 2011
    Rosie ·
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    I don't know what etiquette says, but I'm with you...I think sending one to each adult child is a GREAT way to waste your money on something extremely unnecessary.

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  • ♥ Elizabeth Nicole ♥
    Master May 2011
    ♥ Elizabeth Nicole ♥ ·
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    I asked a similar question as well... I personally think that it's okay. The thing that will get you is the whole adult individuals are "supposed" to get dates.

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  • Diana
    VIP October 2010
    Diana ·
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    Thats what i am doing, one per household, thats way too much to send to each adult. my mom and dad just recently got back together after being divorced for almost 30 yrs. and now my step sister and brother live with them too that is 4 invites for one house, think not!!!lol

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  • Former MDLS now Mrs. K
    Master October 2010
    Former MDLS now Mrs. K ·
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    I'm with you, screw etiquette!

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  • Mom N
    September 2010
    Mom N ·
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    Things change, and this was before the economy changed. Now many children are coming home to roost in the nest. I think one invitation per household is fine.This is what we will be sending out too.

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  • TriSARAtops
    VIP June 2011
    TriSARAtops ·
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    Well wait a sec... then how do you invite the guests for all of the kids at home?!

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  • Diana
    VIP October 2010
    Diana ·
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    Well certain ones i am allowing to bring quests but not many seeing as we have the whole center i dont want anyone i really dont know in with us, maybe only if they are a steady gf/bf that i have met

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  • Kathy
    Master July 2010
    Kathy ·
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    While I did not read all responses....the answer is....Mr and Mrs. and Family. That means all living in their home.

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  • Tinkerbell
    Devoted November 2010
    Tinkerbell ·
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    If you want to only send one invitation per household, you would address the outside envelope to "The Smith Family" and the inside envelope as: "John and Mary Smith", "Joe Smith and Guest", "Julie Smith", etc.

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  • Kathy
    Master July 2010
    Kathy ·
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    If you are doing an inner envelope. ;-)

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  • binx
    Master August 2010
    binx ·
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    You can always address the invite: The Turner Family.

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  • Color of love
    VIP September 2012
    Color of love ·
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    Most of today's wedding etiquette was written at a time that it was assumed adult children would be married and living in their own households. If that does not apply to the situation neither does the particular bit of etiquette.

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  • Jaemi C. fka Jaemi S. :-)
    Master October 2010
    Jaemi C. fka Jaemi S. :-) ·
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    I personally am sending invites to all adults over the age of 18 even if that means sending more to one household and the reason is because those additional adults are are allowed to bring guests and while I agree that it is a waste of money in my case there are only a handful like that and I know that I personally like to get mail and be invited to things. I would hate to think that if I was living at home for whatever personal reason I would not be considered important enough to get my own invite. The only home that is getting an "and Family" where the other person in the household is over 18 is the household where the daughter is handicapped and can't open or ready mail; but even there she is 31 years old we have always treated her like an adult I am thinking of sending her own too.

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  • ERH
    Master October 2010
    ERH ·
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    I'm going to see how many invitations I have left. I think I have plenty, so I'll probably send them to adult kids living at home. IMO, if we're talking etiquette, than these "kids" need to get out on their own. While living with mommy and daddy they don't really have the place to complain (Sorry for your friend, Debi). You can always put individual names on the inner envelope. That's what it's for.

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  • Jazmin
    Super May 2011
    Jazmin ·
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    @Diana D.

    I totally agree with you, even my gfs who dont have steady boyfriends, im just sendthing them invite as one. I dnt care, its mmy wedding, im paying for it and i dont want anyone i dont know to come lol.. kinda selfish!

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  • Kat
    Super September 2010
    Kat ·
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    Something else to consider is that adult children should absolutely get their own invite if they're part of the wedding itself. FH's cousin is an usher, but he lives at home...he gets his own invite.

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  • B
    Master January 2011
    bluedaisy ·
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    I would say if they are under 20 and at home, it would be more ok to include them in the family invite. Older than that and not so much. It depends too how included you want those adult *kids* to feel. If you dont really care if they come, you could do the family invite. If you care, then they should get their own invite.

    I will say this-there were several friends weddings that occurred right after I graduated from college. Despite having been 3 hrs away at college for the prior 4 yrs (and NOT coming home during the last 2 summers), I felt very insulted when my wedding invite went to my parents house. It seemed rude they didn't take the 30 sec. it would have taken to call/email/facebook me to get my current address (I even missed one girls shower cause i didn't see the invite until I arrived for a visit home the day of and noticed the invite on the counter, since my mom doesn't open my mail. So...if you are going to send an invite to them-get their current address.

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  • Duskie
    Devoted August 2010
    Duskie ·
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    I was going to send just one per household, but then I realized how many scrapbookers i have. Even though they are living at home with their parents, I guess i'm sending them their own because they want to keep it and add it to their scrapbook. ugh.. i'm making my own invitations... I don't think i'll ever get them done!! lol!

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  • ~Bride 8/28/10~
    Master August 2010
    ~Bride 8/28/10~ ·
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    Mrs.Turner2B - Um be careful with this because I just posted something saying I had a phone call last night asking if and family meant 13 people. So just be specific on the invite! LOL

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  • M
    VIP July 2010
    MNBride2010 ·
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    I think this only came up in the case of my aunt, uncle, and cousins. The oldest of the two cousins is 18 and just graduate from H.S. so I went ahead and sent one invite. I did put Aunt, Uncle, Cousin1, and Cousin2 on the inner envelope. I am letting my 18yr old cousin personally know she is allowed to bring her b/f if she wants. I think do whatever you think is best for each family. Good luck!

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