wedding envy- have you experienced?

So far I have no regrets. I was even a bridesmaid for my best friend just a couple of weekends ago, but our weddings were totally different so no envy there. I also watch wedding shows and movies every so often and other than the occasional lovely photograph I'm not jealous or envious of their weddings.

I guess I am a little disappointed that the silk flowers I ordered are not the exact colours I was expecting, but that's partly my own fault. Not a huge deal. I still love them.

Actually I just had this tonight. A friend of mine got married this past week and had a wedding that was much more inline with what I dreamed I would have instead of what I am actually having (which is lovely and special too just not really what I always dreamed of having). Her's was the s'more, short dress, 10 flowers girls, warm weather, breathtaking views, tons of help from bridesmaids/friends, centerpiece (cute books) filled event and more! It was very DIY and ever touch had meaning and help from friends and family. Mostly was in awe of her ability to put it all together.

I am feeling that way already. Mostly about my reception decor. I had to say no to ceiling and window draping because that alone was $600. I didn't think it was worth it but it's up so high I don't know how I'd do it myself. Now I wish I would've just paid it. The only decor we'll have is the tables and I don't even know what centerpieces will look like.

I guess I just keep thinking about my wedding looking plain.. especially after seeing everyone's lovely BAM post's.

@nothern MN, I completely get where you're coming from- I think a bigger part of my problem was the fact that all my bridesmaids were fighting the whole engagement (with each other and sometimes with me), my family only offered financial support (for all of you rolling your eyes right now, I would've given every penny back to have them act like they had SOME sort of emotion about watching their ONLY child get married instead of like it was just a party for them and their friends) and for people to actually care about what I wanted done or how I wanted things done... not being snotty, an example: 3 of my bridesmaids brought a BUNCH of penis (and other bachelorette-themed novelty items) to the location where we were getting ready the morning of the wedding and got mad when I was less than thrilled when they laid it out in front of my 4 & 6 y/o nieces/flowergirls and then gave me (as my wedding present from all 3 of them) a candy bra... I think I was just missing that "bridal experience" that I'd waited my whole life for

also made me re-evaluate my friendships and the relationship I have with a lot of family members... my husband, however was WONDERFUL and every moment of that day made me realize I was the luckiest girl in the world to get to be his wife!

I experience wedding envy every day! My coworker is getting married the weekend before us, and the parents of his fiancée (FW? ) have been saving for her wedding her entire life. They have a wedding planner, a light show at the reception, an $800+ cake, a string quartet, a $3k photographer. He comes into work talking about being tired from ordering invitations the night before. I spent nine months making ours from scratch because we couldn't afford to order them. They have multiple food tastings with both sets of parents. We are having a pasta buffet and don't even get a tasting. He complains about stress from picking out centerpieces that are going to be made for them. I've spent the last eleven months scouring Goodwill locations all over the city to make our own centerpieces for $.49 per vase. Our weddings are like night and day, and I can't help but feel like I'm missing out on all these quintessential wedding-planning experiences that you see in the movies and always dream about. Because they're being shoved in my face.

But when I feel down, I remind myself that I only need one thing to be happy on my wedding day, and that's FH. Everything else is just a bonus. My wedding will be much more creative and personal. As a guest, I prefer weddings that are quirky and fun to those that are cold and stuffy and executed without a hitch. Then I talk to FH about what else we could do to personalize our wedding and make it even more special to us. I'm much happier embracing the differences, being proud of what I've accomplished on our budget, and focusing on what I do have rather than what I don't.

I think everyone has those 'grass is greener' moments. We got married in an amazing stately home and had a generous flower budget yet I look at photos posted by my florist of other weddings he's done and see what other brides are doing and I do feel a bit envious. One had birch trees bought into the church. TREES! And one had her wedding at Highclere House (aka Downton Abbey) and I know the venue hire fees alone there start at US$30,000. That's some serious money!

Sometimes I do! We are having a small, intimate wedding at a nice venue with awesome food. But sometimes I see these ladies with their big ball rooms and fancy lighting and gorgeous centrepieces and think that would be nice to have too.

But then I remind myself we are doing it this way because we can't be bothered with that sort of thing and the type of wedding we are having us exactly our style!

I sometimes do/did. My little brother married 6 months before me and they had a $40,000 (that get's you a LOT in NC) in a mansion with thousands of dollars worth of flowers, white glove service, videographer, the whole shebang. It looked like a David Tutera wedding. I had a modest $8500 wedding. It wasn't the wedding of my dreams, but the food was great and everyone seemed to have a good time.

My DAD has been ensuing wedding envy in me. He and his wife have been going to wedding after wedding this spring/summer and after every one he calls and tells me about the hanging ice sculpture behind the alter, the fabulous champagne hand passed as they entered cocktail hour, or this or that decor that was just stunning. And every time I just think, if you wanted me to have a wedding like that then why aren't you paying for that? I am very happy with our plans so far and I know it is going to be our perfect day but he could afford it if he wanted to and instead he has given us (while very generous) only a portion of our budget.

Bottom line, everyone has different budgets and different expectations. And I wouldn't be comfortable in a big fancy wedding its just not our style.

Don't get me wrong, I had so much fun at my wedding... it's just that my wedding turned out about 75% the way I wanted it but no one had good attitudes besides me and my fiancé... but that's what really matters in the end and what I keep telling myself, I just wish when I looked at pictures of other people's weddings I didn't get that pang of jealousy sometimes

So far no, but maybe later. I have a really great budget and I'm allowed to have whatever I want, but my dad has always had a way of comparing his kids to kids that he sees as better than us. Like in college I was on the Dean's List more often than not, but he had to tell me about his friend's daughter who was on the Dean's List every single semester, every single year. Thanks, dad. So I have a feeling that things will be awesome until maybe after the wedding and my dad will come back with something like "That was nice, Miss, but so and so's daughter had blah blah blah! Their wedding was awesome!" We'll see.

I'll be honest - no regrets so far or envy about the details of others weddings - i'm a realist and know that yes i would maybe want bigger or better but i also live within my means and im making my wedding as beautiful as possible with the budget we have.......
the ONLY thing I feel envy for - is seeing all the sweet moments people are having with their moms - on their wedding day, at their bridal showers, etc....and when people whine and complain about their moms ---- meanwhile I am sitting alone while my mom (who I adore and who is my best friend) is in the hospital since March - very bad condition....missing alot of my planning and i have no idea if she will even make it as far as my day....and she insists we still get married that day regardless of her outcome.... that is what im envious about - people take their moms for granted - I say don't be so harsh on your moms because you never know what will happen - i never thought my mom would be in this condition at only 57....that is my only wedding related envy.....

It's natural. Don't beat yourself up about it. If we all had unlimited funds I'm sure our weddings would end up different even for the people who say they got everything they wanted. I'm really sorry you had some negative experiences with the wedding. I think when you look back on it in years to come though the important part is that you married your man, focus on the good. I am def making some compromises to stay within budget but at the end of the day the "extras" are just that.. extras.. everything important is already had and I will have family and friends and be married to the love of my life... BTW I REALLLY cannot wait for your BAM post (if you have already done it I need to search it because we have the same venue) I would love to connect and chat about it if you have time

@maggie. I am so sorry to hear about your bridesmaids being so difficult! Mine have been great...just really disconnected from the wedding part (I mean they love me and are excited for me but they have full jobs, kids, husbands and other life emergencies that I would agree in some cases are much much much more important than wedding world). They have all been married a long time and I just think they aren't in the stage where you get super excited to talk weddings let alone offer to drive 5 hours to help me do wedding prep. Plus it doesn't help that I have planned lots of events (non wedding related) and haven't often asked for help in planning the events before so people don't think I really need help with the wedding either.

I have some kinda envy going on..I couldn't afford a photo booth so that still irks me! Also, it rained the morning and afternoon of my wedding so the wedding party and I weren't able to go outside to a beautiful park to take photos. Another thing I'm envious of is the fact that my DH and I didn't get take any glam, dramatic and romantic pics the day of the wedding...everything was happening so fast we forgot to so whenever I see beautiful brides taking romantic pics with their hubbys, I get a little jealous. But other than that I had the wedding of my dreams...people are still raving about how it was the best wedding that they've ever been to and the food and music was the best... that makes me feel great! lol

Not wedding envy per se, but I do have wedding budget envy. My cousin married his wife before FH and I were engaged; their budget for their wedding was our yearly salaries combined multiplied by two. Their wedding was ostentatious... decadent and beautiful, but not my personal taste. And a lot of wasted budget. I try so hard, but I can't help but think "What I could do with the band budget they have" or "with the amount they spent on their mediocre ______, I can do _____"

I don't know if I have envy per se. I loved my wedding but there were just a few things I wish happened differently. We made a great playlist for our reception as background music (no dancing just dinner and mingling) but they did not have the right adapter for my iphone so our music did not work and I did not make a backup CD or anything. This is the only real regret I have from the wedding is not having working music since the playlist I created was so perfect for us.

The only other thing that kind of bugs me was my bouquet. I never saw any of the wedding details in person since we live in Chicago and the wedding was in California so I relied on my planner to make decisions based off of inspiration photos I showed her. The flowers she chose for the bouquet were not like the photos I showed her and the accent color they chose was a light purple when all of the photos I showed her had a deep dark purple in them. I do get a little bit of envy when I see other peoples bouquets that I love but I cannot complain since everyone thought my flowers were great and only I noticed the differences.

Found your BAM post!!! I LOVE your dress. Everything looks beautiful!!

I wanted to mention again that I would love to connect and chat with you! It would be aweome to talk to someone who was marriage at the same venue

I think I will have some envy with my best friend's wedding next year. She was my MOH and I will be hers. I had to do our wedding on the cheap, which meant sacrificing many things that I wanted. They have a MUCH larger budget and are going to have an awesome "party" wedding, drinking and dancing all night long at a beautiful resort. I'm looking forward to it but I know I am going to be a little sad that I wasn't able to pull something similar off. However, I am glad that we stayed under our budget and had a really beautiful day.

I'm feeling some wedding envy for the Jurassic Park bride!! Lol.

Overall, I don't feel a lot of envy towards others. With what I know now in planning, I may have done things differently, but whatevs! My wedding will be great because I'm marrying my FH. I have a lot of different "visions" that I would have loved for my wedding, so I picked the one that worked best for me now. I can't really regret that, even though I would have equally loved a beach wedding in California