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Rachel
Super June 2022

Wedding dress cost concerns from Mom

Rachel, on July 17, 2020 at 9:14 PM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 27
Hi, ladies...


I was discussing and showing my Mom ideas for what type, silhouettes, etc. of wedding dresses I want to try on and consider. Those who have seen my other prior dress posts know that I’m a girl that wants a dress that goes against the grain, isn’t traditional, has some unique style and edge, things like that. So far, the ballgown is my number one pick. I know I won’t know what I want “for sure” until I try dresses on but all of that aside, I need some input on cost issues. I plan to get married on the beach at a gorgeous Oceanside hotel (it’s been my dream for a long time). My parents have kindly offered to pay for the wedding and have been planning on it for a long time, even before I became engaged. My fiancé and I plan to have a very small wedding party with probably less than 50 people in attendance, so it will be very small. Still, I know that a beach wedding isn’t on the cheap side. That’s why I would like to pay for my dress myself since I don’t want to “tack on” any additional Costs for my parents even though they said they could pay for my dress. This is the issue... with the types of dresses I’ve been looking at (Hayley Paige, Pnina Tornai, etc.) And the beautiful textured/layer skirts and detailing, they aren’t going to be cheap. My mom is adamant that I keep the cost around $2000 - $4000, but I am budgeting for a gown at a higher price. The very least that I would let my parents pay for is maybe a veil and contributing to alterations costs (assuming I’ll need some). My wedding day will only happen once (hopefully lol) and I want to feel like a queen/princess on my day. It’s not like we are having a huge, extravagant wedding with a ton of guests! I also never thought the day would come where I would get married, there are a lot of emotions flying around for me. Anyways, how would you ladies handle this? I explained my points to my mom and she just said, “Well, we have time to talk about it.” My mom is also very frugal and doesn’t spend a lot on herself, so I think the fact that I would be willing to spend so much on myself is something she doesn’t understand since she doesn’t do much for herself. That part I do understand. Any thoughts? Am I wrong for wanting to “treat myself”?

27 Comments

Latest activity by Furure Mrs., on July 20, 2020 at 11:30 AM
  • Kimistar
    Dedicated March 2021
    Kimistar ·
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    It’s not wrong to treat yourself especially if you can afford to do it. This is your wedding day and you should feel and look your best. And you’ll have a lot of photos of yourself in it so you’ll want to look at those photos and love the way you look in them (especially after paying so much for a dress and photographer). I’d say get your dream dress if you can afford it and keep the cost of the dress to yourself. Your mom doesn’t need to know if you’re paying for it. It’s what I’m doing at the moment lol.
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  • Rachel
    Super June 2022
    Rachel ·
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    Thanks for the kind words! Luckily I have enough time to save for my dream dress cost range before I go try any on. I wish I could keep the cost of the dress to myself, but my Mom will be there when I try them on so unfortunately she will know 😂🤣
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  • Michelle
    Expert May 2021
    Michelle ·
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    I second everything lol

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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I think if you can afford to do it then OK. She’s probably just trying to be realistic about the cost of a dress since yeah sadly your wedding dress you literally only wear once but it is what it is if you can afford it then go for it.
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  • M
    Master October 2021
    Mrs.a ·
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    As long as it’s within your means dream girl! Get the dress you want! You only get to live once.
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  • Rachel
    Super June 2022
    Rachel ·
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    Thank you!! ☺️ I mean I’m not going SUPER crazy, it won’t cost me something like $10,000 or anything like that, I’m just keeping my range around $5,000 to $7,000. It is what it is!
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  • Michelle
    Expert May 2021
    Michelle ·
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    My mom was with me and if I didn’t discuss out loud she wouldn’t have know what the cost was. The budget was given prior to appointments. I still agree, if you can afford it do it! Your mom will understand either way. I tried on a $9000 dress, but ended up loving a dress for $2500 so you never know what you may find! Post lots of pics when you do finally go trying on dresses ☺️

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  • M
    Master October 2021
    Mrs.a ·
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    I can’t wait to see what you choose! 😊
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  • H
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
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    I can see both points. While it is your wedding day and you should absolutely treat yourself, I think it's also important to think about the dress from a larger perspective. This is a dress that you will wear once and (most likely) never again. If you have the means, do it up, but also don't go overboard, if that makes sense. Like, there are dresses that are $10-15k, which is a gently used car. So I would also think about the totality of what else that money can be used for, depending on your other financial goals and the percentage of your income that this is ($5k when you make $40k a year vs when you make $100k a year is a big difference).
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  • Rachel
    Super June 2022
    Rachel ·
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    Oh definitely, that’s exactly it. I have time to budget for a more pricier gown, but I’m definitely not looking at any gowns that are close to $10,000 or more... that’s ridiculous! Any time I see a dress that is that price or more, I move on. That’s definitely not worth it (in my opinion)!
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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    I would say get the dress you want but like Hannah said within reason. From experience wait until the big holidays for the sales like black friday. Btw something a photographer told me is keep in mind a tulle skirt on the beach as it picks up sand so maybe have something underneath.

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  • Melanie
    Dedicated April 2021
    Melanie ·
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    Look up when trunk shows are happening at local bridal stores. I bought my Hayley Paige dress during a trunk show and saved 10% plus they were able to order a split size for me (bust size and hip size). Wasn’t super huge savings but that saved me in alterations. I’d say treat yourself though because it’s your wedding day and if you can budget for that, go for it
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  • Melanie
    Dedicated April 2021
    Melanie ·
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    PS I am a beach bride with a ball gown. It can and will be done! HP has some dresses that aren’t tulle but horsehair which will catch less sand and won’t be as hot!
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  • Jess
    Devoted January 2022
    Jess ·
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    What about going half? That’s what my mom and I did for my dress Smiley smile
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  • Jeni
    Devoted July 2021
    Jeni ·
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    I have a Hayley Paige ballgown dress and I got it for $1200 and the veil for $1000. (I *did not* intend to spend that much on a veil, but my mom loved it and paid for it while I was changing back into my regular clothes!) You can shop sample sales, trunk sales, and designer off-the-rack stores. That's how I got my dress. I found a lot of her dresses and Lazaro dresses (same fashion house) at the designer shops. It's a great way to save money and get a unique designer dress. It may also help your mom if she knows you're shopping "sales." Even though you're paying for it, you can at least consider your mom's concerns and try not to bring up costs.


    Also know that designer ballgowns are often elaborate and need a lot of bustle points to securely hold up all the layers. (Mine required a 15-point bustle and my seamstress charged $15 per point.) You'll need to factor that into your overall budget. Set aside at least $500 and pocket the difference if it's cheaper!

    (BTW, since you like Pnina, you have to make a nonrefundable deposit to shop at Kleinfeld, so if you want that experience, you'll have to budget a little more. FYI.)
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  • Julie
    VIP February 2020
    Julie ·
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    I shopped at Kleinfeld and didn't have to pay anything. Must be a new rule, since I shopped July 2019. Didn't try on any Pninas though
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  • Rachel
    Super June 2022
    Rachel ·
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    How was your experience at Kleinfeld? I know I’ll have to go there for a Pnina gown, so I’m curious to hear about your shopping experience ☺️
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  • J
    Master October 2022
    Jana ·
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    There are also reputable sites online where you can purchase wedding dresses (some still with tags) that are preowned. Stillwhite.com is one. One option is to see if the dress you tried on and loved is available from them if it's completely out of your budget otherwise.
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  • Leanne
    Super September 2020
    Leanne ·
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    Sooooo my mother paid for my dress but we went into the appointment not knowing who would pay or with a budget. I was fully prepared to pay until she offered. That being said I’m paying for the photographer, videographer, coordinator, and a ton of decor items.


    In your case, it’s really none of her business how much YOU spend on YOUR dress. My splurge was photography at over $6k but it’s what I wanted.
    I would think of all your priorities you are covering for your day and see where it falls. Never settle. Have a great time shopping!!
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  • Jeni
    Devoted July 2021
    Jeni ·
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    Really?! I tried to make an appointment in February 2020. But if you make a purchase, they apply the deposit to it. My mom said absolutely not since I'm too indecisive, lol. 😄
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