Beginner September 2020

Wedding day gifts

Lisa, on September 19, 2019 at 7:54 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 20
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This is kind of a dumb question but.. do grooms know that it’s a thing to exchange gifts the morning of the wedding? Is this something that people typically do or just something I’ve seen on Pinterest? lol.. I feel like it’s a weird thing to bring up to him, I would never want to come across like “do you know you’re supposed to get me a gift” but I do want to get him something nice for our big day!


  • Mary
    Expert July 2019
    Mary ·
    My husband did not know about the letter and gift exchange until I told him I got him something in the months leading up to the wedding. This gave him plenty of runway to figure something out. 😅
  • Chandra
    Master May 2019
    Chandra ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Same here!
  • Peggy
    Master November 2019
    Peggy ·
    I got my fiancé a total surprise gift and I’ll write a letter. I was assuming he’d get me something because he had mentioned having his aunt design jewelry for me...but that was like a year ago and he hasn’t mentioned it since. He doesn’t do surprises so the likelihood of him planning something secretly is very low. I’m not expecting anything in return but I would really like the letter. He doesn’t express his emotions often and never through cards or anything so this would mean so much to me.
  • Hannah
    VIP July 2019
    Hannah ·
    I honestly never heard of this until coming onto this board. I personally didn't want to exchange gifts si xe we had already put so much into the wedding/honeymoon. I jokingly told my husband a out exchanging gifts, and his response was "that's stupid. Isn't the whole wedding and honeymoon a gift for us?" which was exactly my sentiment lol.

    If you really want to exchange small gifts, just bring it up. You're getting married to each other. Something like bringing his attention to a gift exchange tradition/trend/whatever shouldn't be a big deal to bring up with a person you're planning to share the rest of your life with.
  • Kelly
    Champion October 2018
    Kelly Online ·
    I don’t think exchanging gifts is the norm and I wouldn’t assume someone would know to do that. So I would bring it up to him if it’s important to you.
  • Melle
    Rockstar June 2019
    Melle ·
    We gave gifts to each other during rehearsal when we gave our wedding party gifts too
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith Online ·
    This is a new thing. Long term, couples have the engagement and wedding rings, and often trinkets or mementos from their honeymoon. But bride and groom giving each other gifts, bridesmaid proposal gifts, and gifts for parents, and gifts of robes and such for getting ready, are all recent trends, heavily promoted by advertisers, Pinterest, articles in wedding mags and sites. But they are not a traditional , widespread thing, so groom may not be expecting an exchange of gifts with you .
  • Jazmin
    Rockstar April 2019
    Jazmin ·

    You could agree on it or not, grooms don't know much about weddings.

  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Champion March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
    I told my hubby about that tradition but we were both exhausted and way over-budget and happily agreed to not exchange gifts (our wedding was our gift).
  • Cher Horowitz
    Rockstar December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·

    FH would probably gawk at me if I told him we had to exchange wedding gifts. To us, our gift is marrying each other and spending the rest of our lives together

  • earias
    Champion December 2017
    earias ·

    I don't think this is common in reality. I told my husband and he looked at me in shock and asked, "Isn't the wedding our gift to each other?" And I agreed. Right then and there we agreed we would not exchange gifts.

    If you want something from your FH, then yes, you should bring it up because I doubt he is even thinking about this. In fact, this will be generally true for your married life too. Communicate directly what you want and don't hint because guys don't pick up on hints.

  • M
    Super September 2019
    Mrs. Bubba ·
    It was brought up to me last week.

    We did the 🎁thing last night as he really wanted me to have my 🎁.

    It’s a Necklace with a 💛 Locket that has a picture of my Mom on one side and says, “She’s always with you” on the other side.

    I had to hold it together to keep from crying.

    He received a ⌚️and Steelers Cuff Links and Tie Tack set.
  • Sara
    Super October 2019
    Sara ·

    We're giving each other smallish things when we pass out gifts at the rehearsal dinner, and then I'll leave him a letter when I leave to get ready the morning of the wedding. I personally love giving gifts, so I liked the idea of getting him something. I came upon the opportunity to get a rare bottle of bourbon from the distillery where we're getting married, so he's getting that plus a pen I made from a bourbon barrel stave that we can use to sign our marriage license, and I also got him a tie patch with a pictures of me and our dog. The tie patch was small enough that I wasn't going to mention gifts, and the pen was something we'd at least both use on the wedding day, but once I got the bourbon I told him I was getting him something, and he could either get me something or not - it didn't matter either way for me.

  • Lisa
    Beginner September 2020
    Lisa ·
    View Quoted Comment
    I love these ideas! My fiancé is a bourbon lover and we’re obsessed with our dogs, so these are amazing!
  • Annabel
    Dedicated November 2019
    Annabel ·

    This is something that I have heard of and I did mention it to my FH and he was completely unaware so I am glad I did mention it to him because I wouldn't want him to feel bad if I gave him something and he had nothing for me. I didn't approach it as, "You're supposed to give me a gift" but more like " we are supposed to exchange gifts the morning of". It's not supposed to be anything expensive, especially after all the spending for the wedding. It should be something small and meaningful. I am thinking about one of the following items for him: An engraved bottle of whiskey, engraved lighter or a wallet where I can have a couple lines of our vows engraved on the inside.

  • Rebecca
    Devoted January 2020
    Rebecca ·
    View Quoted Comment

    Love this perspective! That's what we're doing too! Except I caved and bought him socks to wear and I'll make a note that sounds "in case you get cold feet" LOL. We like to joke around with each other, and I thought the idea was just soooo cute I had to do it. I'm not expecting a gift, so no hard feelings.

  • Kat
    Expert May 2019
    Kat ·
    My husband had no idea this was a thing until I mentioned it to him. I actually mentioned it for the opposite reason - to make sure he WASN’T doing it! I couldn’t imagine giving us both another thing to do before the wedding. If I really wanted to do it he would have gotten on board, but otherwise his reaction was like those above - “Isn’t the wedding enough?!”
  • Kayla
    Dedicated November 2020
    Kayla ·

    It was actually my FH's idea to exchange gifts. We're always looking for a reason to spoil each other to show our appreciation. So there are a lot of random days and I come home to something small. But we both want to be able to spoil each other on our big day because that's just what we do.

  • Elizabeth
    Dedicated June 2021
    Elizabeth ·

    I think it depends on the couple - I've heard of some doing it and some skipping it. I think we're going to splurge on a nicer honeymoon and buy souvenirs from our honeymoon as our "gifts" to each other because we'll remember them more that way.

  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·

    We talked about gifts prior so we were both on the same page.

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