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Savvy September 2023

Wedding Day Duties

Brittany, on December 28, 2022 at 8:44 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 5
Hello everyone, I was wondering if you guys could help me brainstorm/give advice based on your situations.


My parents are divorced, though it has been 20 years and they both have moved on, my mom can be jealous of my dad and his wife. My dad's current wife is really nice and thoughtful (compared to his last wife), and they are paying a good chunk of my wedding. I want her to feel involved on my wedding day without overstepping my mom. What would some wedding day duties that would be good for her? My first thought was the guest book because she's so friendly but I can hear my saying "why does she have to be out there talking to everyone, she wants the attention".
I am also wondering the same thing for my mother in law. She does so much for us, especially the last couple years that my mom's been in another state.
Thanks in advance!

5 Comments

Latest activity by Jacks, on January 1, 2023 at 6:17 PM
  • Alyssa
    Super October 2023
    Alyssa ·
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    What are wedding day duties? I don't understand what she'd be doing with the guest book.
    Will she be walking down the aisle and introduced for the reception? That should be enough.
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  • Shannon
    Super July 2022
    Shannon ·
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    I didn’t assign any of my guests wedding day duties. That’s the Coordinator or Planners job.
    Perhaps you can ask them to go dress shopping with you or help with invitations or decorations?
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  • W
    VIP September 2020
    Willow ·
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    Don't assign any duties. Duties are a chore, not an honor. Privately give them a thank you card and a gift, unless you're gifting everyone at the rehearsal. List her in the program with your dad. Have her walk down the aisle like any other immediate family member. Having her man the guest book would be a slight.
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  • Cece
    Rockstar October 2023
    Cece ·
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    I agree with the previous posters, I would not assign her any duties. I know your intentions are good here, but the day is going to be hectic enough, I wouldn’t put more on her plate to worry about. Rather than assigning her duties, I would think of ways that you could honor her on your special day. You could include her in the getting ready process (ie, pay for her hair and make up to be done with you). And if being around your mother would be a problem, you could have her hair and make up done first, before your mom arrives (which would also give you a special one on one moment with her). You can have her escorted down the aisle (assuming your father will be walking you down the aisle- if not, they could walk together). You could make sure the photographer gets special photos of just the two of you together. You can include her in your thank you toast at your reception. You could also plan something special before the wedding. For instance, you could invite her to a nail salon for manis/pedis in the days leading up to your wedding. There are tons of ways you can include her without giving her “jobs” to do.
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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    I would do something with flowers for her, like a corsage as part of the wedding party. I don't think she needs any duties.

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