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Expert October 2020

Wedding Cost Anxiety

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Soon2BSmith, on May 4, 2019 at 11:09 AM

Posted in Planning 33

Am I the only one who thinks about their wedding cost and feels uneasy and nausea? Our budget is 15k and we haven’t even began really spending and I just can’t shake this feeling of uneasiness. My parents are helping largely and don’t mind at all.
I rather elope but having a traditional wedding is very important to my FH, his family, and my mother.
In efforts to compromise, my FH and I were able to get our guest count from 220 to 100. Moved the wedding to a different state because it was cheaper.
We’ve only spent about $1200 right now, and I convinced we should cut our loss and save ourselves.

My FH believes I feel this way because 1. I’m not used to being center of attention. 2. I’m not a wasteful person and $15k for half a day scares me.
Any other brides feel this way? How are you coping with the anxiety?

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33 Comments

Super July 2019
Crystal · on May 5, 2019 at 9:56 AM
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Itll be okay. I freaked out about the money the whole time. We didnt even have a penny saved lol. We both worked and still are working lots of hard hours making payments and we took a small loan
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Dedicated August 2019
Sylvia · on May 5, 2019 at 10:15 AM
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Thank you for sharing this post because I felt like a Scrooge about the wedding costs. I don't want us to go broke over a one day event. I've negotiated EVERYBODY down to the lowest costs possible and it's still very overwhelming. I want to be carefree about everything but I can't because I'm older and I know better....LOL! At the same time I know this is our wedding and a very important moment to celebrate and enjoy.
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Expert September 2019
Jordan · on May 5, 2019 at 10:29 AM
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Can relate! We are only about 5 months out and costs have gotten out of control. My mom is helping a lot and didn’t really give us a budget. Right now we’re looking at the final cost being mealy 40k 😩
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Super August 2019
Samantha · on May 5, 2019 at 10:33 AM
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I feel you! I just wrote a post about going over budget. Every time I spend on money it makes me uneasy as well as happy because of the bigger picture. Thankfully the huge chunks of money are being paid by fiancé but it’s still on my budget spreadsheet so the overall cost is daunting. I know it’s going to be a magical day and I’m excited plus the money we’re spending is just for the wedding, though still a lot regardless.

We’ve almost got all deposits and little stuff paid or received quotes and it’s just paying it off now. Anticipating about $500 over budget which is a lot and a little in the whole scheme of things.
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Beginner August 2020
Toya · on May 5, 2019 at 10:38 AM
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Yes it is stressful, I'm getting married next year in August and I'm still trying to find a venue. My budget is 12k and I feel like the venue prices are outrageous.
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Savvy January 2020
Lori · on May 5, 2019 at 11:01 AM
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I feel like you were speaking for me! This is spot on how I feel. I wanted just parents/siblings and a small dinner after, he wanted the whole thing. I struggled with it for a while. I can’t fathom spending this much on a party but it’s what he wants.
I realized it’s easier for me to give up what I want than him. It means a lot to him and you can’t get that day back. It makes him so happy and that’s what gives me confidence we made the right decision.
I know come the week of our wedding I’ll be glad we went this route. It’s just a lot to move past.
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Dedicated September 2021
Anna · on May 5, 2019 at 11:15 AM
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It’s interesting how most of the time people think that the bride wants a big wedding. After reading a lot of posts on this forum it turns out the groom is actually the one who wants the big celebration lol! I’m in the same boat I’d rather have a smaller celebration and put some money towards a house down payment but my FH has a huge Italian family (just on his moms side) and he has to have all of them 🤦‍♀️
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Master June 2020
Anna · on May 5, 2019 at 11:25 AM
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Our budget started out at 10k...until we went over...Venue, food, photography package, DJ, officiant, and Honeymoon right at 10k...so he agreed to the extra 5.

Now we see that we are really on the low end of the spectrum, price wise.
We are paying for everything, agreed, it's alot...but, well worth it in the long run to us❤
Hang in there.
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Beginner May 2021
Michelle · on May 5, 2019 at 11:43 AM
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I’m having a hard time just choosing a venue cause I feel like it’s so expensive. So I understand exactly what your going through. My budget is way more but I’m doing it in Puerto Rico, but could easily just elope lol. I want a nice small wedding and I keep cutting down the list of people. I’m hoping I get over it and just focus on the end result which is marrying the love of my life.
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Dedicated August 2019
Ashley · on May 5, 2019 at 11:54 AM
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I wish I had 15K to spend on a wedding! I’m a DiY bride and was able to come in slightly under 10k and even that budget gave me anxiety! It’s crazy how expensive weddings are but FH just keeps reminding me that the day is about sharing this special day with friends and family and not to worry because it’s one of the happiest days in life. I try to focus on the whole wedding coming together vs what each thing cost; for me, it keeps me sane!!!
Good luck and just try to enjoy the tasks and the day!
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Master October 2021
Sexypoodle · on May 5, 2019 at 12:21 PM
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I can totally understand how the thought of spending that amount of money is anxiety inducing. In my years as a wedding planner, at the end of the night I always thought the same thing, “Wow… All of that planning, lead up and money spent and it’s all over just like that.” It all goes by so quickly, so sometimes spending thousands is hard to digest.
For my first wedding, my parents fronted the largest chunk of the money (about $15k). And, even then, I was mindful to keep the wedding at a decent budget. So now this is a second waiting for both FH and I, and although we’re setting a $15k overall budget, I’m still looking at ways to decrease it. Not because we’re stressed/anxious or because we can’t afford it... but just because I know firsthand (and many secondhand times) how it can feel at the end of the night and the next day. You mentally begin calculating everything else you could’ve done with the money. It sucks to say (and many won’t agree), but from an HONEST standpoint... I know inside that it’s not truly worth it! 😬 🤦🏽‍♀️
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Master October 2020
Mandi · on May 5, 2019 at 12:45 PM
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A little bit.
To calm our nerves, we're budgeting the honeymoon and wedding separately. That way it looks like 8-10k on the wedding, and 5k on the honeymoon.
We're also making sure we dont go into debt doing this. So we're paying with cash, paying off credit cards every month, and absolutely not borrowing any money.
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Just Said Yes November 2020
Kay · on August 19, 2020 at 8:41 PM
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OMG. This thread has been SO helpful! Only spending $7k on a small thing (thanks, COVID). BUT we are trying to do it in our dream place, with a few special people, with a mini-moon tacked on. Thanks, everyone!
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