Wedding cancelled....maybe the relationship?

Could he perhaps be rethinking everything since he watched the horrible divorce of his parents? His mother is also living with him and perhaps she is talking to him about her experiences and the divorce and this has scared him. I would give him a couple of days, talk to him and see if perhaps some counseling will help. If he declines then I would suggest going to counseling so you can work thru this and start your own adult life. It is truly meant to be it will be. I do feel sorry for you and wish you the best.

View Quoted Comment ^ This.

It's awful to think about, and I'm so sorry this happened. But if he's getting cold feet now, what could happen several years from now if he changes his mind again after you've worked so hard to repair the relationship? I had a similar situation happen and it was one of the worst things ever to leave. So, so incredibly difficult. However, I found a MUCH better person and I'm so happy I was brave enough to do so. You deserve better than someone who isn't willing to commit to you.

Again, so sorry you're having to go through this.

First, I am so so sorry that you're dealing with this when you were expecting to be having entirely different feelings and experiences right now.

I think sometimes other people's stories can be helpful during times like this to help find similarities and differences and sort through what you want/need. My ex and I were together for 8 years. One day, about a week after taking me ring shopping, he said he did not want to marry me anymore. He wouldn't mind being with me but didn't want to get married. We had been together since I was in high school, we had just moved in together and I did not know what to do plus I loved him and wanted to stay with him. We stayed together for years after that. Parts were lovely and perfect but there was always this other issue hanging over us. Evenutally I found out he was cheating on me, realized that it wasn't the first time and that was the reason for his change of heart. He was selfish, he knew I would leave if I found out he had cheated so he tried to keep me around. I should have left years before I did but I wasn't strong enough.

I am now married, with my husband for over 7 years and am with someone who respects me and wants to be with me. Sometimes I think about what would have happened if I had married my ex or stayed with him and I think I would be deeply unhappy.

Take some time, think about what you want and try to talk to him a little more when he has had some space but don't force it. You deserve someone who wants to be with you and respects your feelings.

I've been there too girl although we weren't together as long. It's horribly painful. And like you, I told myself over and over that the ending of my past relationship was totally and absolutely unexpected but as time has gone on I have realized there were signs galore. haha. Not saying that is so with you but I'm just sayin' that is how it was for me. They were subtle so that's why I didn't really notice them till I was less emotional about it.

I apologize because maybe someone else has said this but my philosophy is to give ONE chance for them to have space and think about it. After that, no more. Because marriage and life is hard and if he can't handle it now then how will he handle the future? Everyone I know that has had on and off relationships has ultimately ended up divorced. However, keep in mind that is no way a guarantee! Just my own observation of those specifically around me. The key is that both of you need to work on the relationship. One-sided relationships are miserable to be in. I agree with counseling but if he refuses or after some time you realize nothing is changing or getting better then I think you should move on. There are men out there who want a partner and do not feel like they are missing out on anything. I know because that is how my FH is. He is my best friend and I am his. We genuinely love to spend time together (both of our love languages is physical touch and quality time) and he talks daily about our wedding and future. I'm sorry you are going through this but girl you are strong. You will survive and succeed in life no matter what happens.

**I suggest thinking deep down about your relationship. Do you see your marriage succeeding? My FH has been married once before and from what I know from him and mutual friends it was extremely messy. Divorce is expensive and if you have children then you will be connected with him for a very long time. Again, not saying you will get divorced in any way. I just would hate for you to have to go through more pain than "needed" if that makes sense.

How can he come to the realization that he likes having his alone time if he is still living with his mother? I'm sorry, but I would be PISSED. You bought a house together?? Is it in both of your names or just his? I'm sorry, but if that house is in both of your names he's going to have to figure out a new living situation for himself AND his mother. You are entitled to whatever that house sells for. This all sounds ridiculous on his part. He never thought about your relationship before now? Not when you were signing papers on the house, or when he got down on one knee and proposed? What was he thinking about then? I don't have any theories about why he is doing this or advice on what you should do, but you have every right to be upset and angry and I wouldn't hold back.