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Dedicated September 2021

Wedding after / before Pregnant Bride - pros and cons

Conny, on October 6, 2020 at 4:29 PM Posted in Planning 0 10
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Hi ladies,
I’m looking for advice. Due to covid we had to push back our wedding to next Fall. I don’t think we can in good faith move it to spring because if covid isn’t gone then we are having to move it a second time!
We are older and have been planning to start a family. Problem is if we’re lucky then we’d be heavily pregnant at the wedding and the alternatives would be either push it up if covid is better or wait until even later in 2021 or 2022 for a wedding and that idea makes me quiver Smiley sad Any older brides in a similar situation and what are some options? I’m a little nervous to wait for after the wedding because many moms say it’s really hard once babies come along. Is it a big deal to be pregnant at a wedding ? Does this mean being less engaged with guests, etc. Due to exhaustion? thanks

10 Comments

Latest activity by Conny, on October 8, 2020 at 4:20 PM
  • Biaani
    Expert May 2021
    Biaani ·
    • Flag

    How do you feel about eloping now and then having your reception for like your second or anniversary? as a guest I would like to attend a reception like that.

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  • Destiny
    Savvy October 2020
    Destiny ·
    • Flag
    Hi! I’m currently 18 weeks pregnant with my wedding in two weeks. Baby is a surprise for us, (albeit a welcome surprise!) and I think the only thing it changed was how my dress was re-altered, a few people’s opinions of us, me adding 10,000 more desserts to our dessert display because of pregnancy cravings, and people buying us baby things instead of household items. On the downside, you won’t have that tiny trim figure in your wedding dress (so probably forego a mermaid or fitted look), but on the plus side everybody lets you sit back and put your feet up while they do the work!
    I do think a baby would have to be carefully timed with a wedding, although keep in mind many couples try for months and years before conceiving. However, I think if our wedding had fallen during my first trimester I would have postponed the wedding. It was awful. I was always sick and tired, vomited constantly, headaches, aches, pains, I lost 15 pounds, etc. But the second trimester has been (mostly) a breeze, I’m super energetic most of the time, and I’m one of those women who barely shows during pregnancy so for me, it’s been great! It all honestly depends on you, your fiancé, and the support circle surrounding you.


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  • Kimberly
    Super March 2021
    Kimberly ·
    • Flag
    I’m the type of person that says go ahead with your life. If you are ready to start trying for a baby, do it. Things will fall where they fall. When we start trying to plan every moment of our lives it almost never works out as we hoped. Yes it may be more challenging to have a wedding while pregnant, but it may also take you a long time to get pregnant and you may not be expecting come your wedding. There are so many ifs that you can easily “if” your way right out of a happy life. All that to say don’t worry about what might be at your wedding, go ahead with life, plan your wedding, try for a baby and see where all the cards fall. Good luck!
    • Reply
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
    • Flag
    You likely want to wait until after next summer before getting pregnant. The very first year of any new disease, no one knows until thee first babies are born who have their first 3-4 months particularly of fetal development while mom had the virus, if there will be damage in utero. Many diseases, it is only the occasional mother who runs a 105 and up temp, that affects baby, or other bad case. Others are born fine. But some, as with German measles ( Rubella), even though mom may show few symptoms, before the vaccie whenever rubella went around, thousands of babies with neurological problems, mostly developmentally delayed, frequently also deaf, blind or both, as well as with a host of other birth defects. With Zika virus, many are born without a large part of their brain, so they breathe, their body runs, but they do not think, and do not process info from their eyes, ears, other senses.
    I suggest you talk to a medical professional about holding off until you know the risk, none or a severely deformed child. A several month quarantine can be done, ie you see no one so you won't catch covid, but most likely it will be when a vaccine or med comes before you want to get pregnant, if it proves to cause severe birth defects.


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  • Kimberly
    Super March 2021
    Kimberly ·
    • Flag
    ^so the exact opposite of what I said. I mean any of those things can happen with or without any illness for any pregnancy and none of those can happen with or without any illness for any pregnancy. If you put your life on hold when do you decide everything is perfect enough to now move forward?
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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
    • Flag
    This is an exceptional disease. yes, you could be hit by a car walking your kid across the street, and leave him crippled. Your child could be the one to get equine encephalitis, the one in your state this year. A rare chance. That is different from a neighborhood where after the end of 1.5 years of rubella going around, ( as happened before vaccine or the pill) there are 5 babies under 2 , deaf, blind, and mentally retarded, severely affected ( not like downs.) And none among the mothers to be who waited it out and then had children. It is not a drive by shooting, it is a war, matter of degree. By next summer we will know. By next summer there may be a vaccine. We all hope that no babies in utero up to 4 months when mom has it, show any damage. Best of all. And it may be that even if you have a child who is deaf and blind who never functions higher than a 4 year old, you will love and raise that child happily. But even most people who would, given a choice, will prevent such major birth defects if it is in their power.
    It is your choice.


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  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
    • Flag

    Can you just elope and get married now and have your elaborate ceremony/reception later?

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  • VIP August 2020
    ·
    • Flag
    If we end up having to postpone our reception again, we'll be in a similar place, so I've put some thought into this. I decided that I wouldn't want to be >6 months pregnant and wouldn't want to have a baby Smiley heart months old, so there would be no risk of having to cancel at the last minute if I went into labor, or the baby would be old enough to bring with us. So we could actively try to get pregnant up to 1 year before and if it didn't happen, use birth control for six months, then start trying again. If you didn't want to be in the first trimester, you could also use birth control for the last 3 months before the wedding.
    • Reply
  • VIP August 2020
    ·
    • Flag
    *❤=less than 3 (months)
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  • C
    Dedicated September 2021
    Conny ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    I think we have similar views on this. We decided we should pause until 3 months closer to the wedding.
    If we do get lucky, we may (as a last resort and if covid has a vaccine or things get better) move the date up or worst move it back , as having a small baby or being heavily pregnant during a wedding isn’t my ideal. Uncertain times for sure xx
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