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Just Said Yes August 2018

Wearing groomsman suit to another wedding

Kata, on May 18, 2018 at 8:36 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 30

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Hi, need your help to settle an argument between my husband and I:
My husband will be one of the groomsmen at his friend’s wedding this summer. All groomsmen have been asked to buy a specific grey Calvin Klein suit so they all match (each had to pay for themselves).
3 weeks before this wedding we are going to another one, where my husband are not In the wedding party (however close friends to bride & groom).
My husband wants to wear this grey Calvin Klein suit for this wedding too, and in my opinion this is not appropriate ESPECIALLY since the groom & bride to-be of that other wedding will be attending as guests as well.

So consequently they’ll see my husband wearing “their” groomsman outfit ahead of their wedding day.
Im concerned the bride (of the second wedding ) will take offense, my husband thinks I’m overreacting, especially since he paid for said suit himself.
Whats correct in this specific situation exactly??

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30 Comments

Latest activity by Rozenbook, on May 19, 2018 at 2:17 AM

Super September 2018
Teresa · on May 18, 2018 at 8:42 AM
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I personally don't see a problem with wearing it. Maybe have him wear a different shirt and tie. But I do agree with your husband it is his suit after all, and my thinking is a grey suit is a grey suit.
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Super May 2018
P.F. · on May 18, 2018 at 8:43 AM
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I don't see what the big deal is. Your FH owns the suit. He can and should wear it whenever he likes.
As long as he doesn't ruin it before the wedding he's GM in it's fine.
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Mim · on May 18, 2018 at 8:46 AM
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It's his suit, he can do with it as he sees fit. He should however make sure that it is in good shape for the second wedding
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Master June 2016
Sarah · on May 18, 2018 at 8:46 AM
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If he owns the suit, he can wear it whenever he likes. If he gets something on it, he can just have it dry cleaned before their wedding.
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Master April 2018
Mrs. Sponge · on May 18, 2018 at 8:51 AM
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My H wore a suit that he had worn to another wedding to our wedding. I wasn't upset about it. He paid for it, it's his suit. I don't see a problem with it. One of H's best men is getting married in October and they weren't sure what color suits they were going with, and when his FW saw the color of ours she loved it and is thinking about using the same color. H's other best man is in that wedding too, should he go out and buy an identical suit because he already wore that one in our wedding?
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Expert August 2018
Rozenbook · on May 18, 2018 at 8:52 AM
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This is why I'm not a fan of requiring groomsmen to purchase a suit. If you are going to wear it more than once after the said wedding then fine, but i find it better to have them rent do if they want a suit they can spend the money on one they want and not worry about this.

Honestly the bride and groom of the second wedding should have let the groomsmen know before purchasing if they were ok or not with them wearing the outfits to other weddings. Whether or not they knew or didn't know if a groom was attending someone else's wedding before hand.

Out of courtesy I would not let him wear it or contact the bride and groom or wear another suit he has
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Super May 2018
Kristin · on May 18, 2018 at 8:52 AM
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I think it would be okay - maybe he could wear it without the vest and with a different shirt and tie so as not to give any details away about the next wedding.
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VIP September 2018
HowCo Industries · on May 18, 2018 at 8:53 AM
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If you're really concerned, talk to the bride. Even though it's his suit and there's plenty of time to get it cleaned between events, some people are weird about that and I wouldn't want to add to anyone's stress.
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Dedicated February 2020
McBuxton · on May 18, 2018 at 9:01 AM
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He should be able to wear it. It's a nice suit he purchased. It's not like he's a groomsmen in the other wedding as well.
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Master July 2017
Going to the chapel · on May 18, 2018 at 9:01 AM
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He can wear the suit anytime he wants. I'd pair it with a different color shirt and tie than what he is wearing in the other wedding. It will then look like any other gray suit.
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VIP September 2018
Michelle · on May 18, 2018 at 9:03 AM
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So I posted something very similar a few months back. My FH got his suit and then he was like wearing it to work events and I was so bothered by it! Like what if something happens to it? And don’t you want it to feel special on the day of? But WW assured me it is not a big deal and I need to be happy he wants to wear it and that he can get more Han one use out of it.
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VIP July 2018
The Nuptials · on May 18, 2018 at 9:10 AM
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It's no big deal. And I'm raising my eyebrow at posters saying to talk to the bride. Ummmm... no. He owns the suit and if anything he should talk to his friend the groom, if he must. He is not the brides attendant and this does not involve her. Crazy how everything seems to fall on the bride.
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Master January 2019
FutureMrsKC · on May 18, 2018 at 9:11 AM
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Your FH paid for it. Your FH owns it. He gets to decide when to wear it.
No one will remember that he wore that suit as a guest somewhere and as long as it doesn't get too stained up or dirty (even then he can dry clean it) then there is no issue.
The other bride might not even really notice or say anything, a grey suit is a grey suit.
I understand not knowing etiquette for this situation. One of my bridesmaids convinced another friend (a bride where she is a bridesmaid as well) to pick the same dress and same color as me so she only has to buy one dress. I was annoyed at first, and knowing she was wearing the dress in that wedding first ticked me off, but she paid for it. She can do what she wants with it. Same in this situation.
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Mim · on May 18, 2018 at 9:24 AM
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LOVE your reply!
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Super June 2019
JuneBride · on May 18, 2018 at 9:26 AM
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It's not a big deal. It will be fine with a different shirt and tie. I want my bridesmaids to have a nice dress they will want to wear again (since they are paying for it). Personally I would wait to wear that suit at one of my family's wedding or at FH's side of the family, but that's me just being a girl and not wanting people to see me in the same outfit
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Expert October 2018
Stephanie · on May 18, 2018 at 9:31 AM
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I did this, I bought a bridesmaid dress for a wedding in October and I wore it as a guest to a wedding in August. I got so many compliments all night, and I got to wear the dress twice. It was super cool, and I was more than grateful I at least got to wear the dress twice. If he bought it, he should wear it. I agree with your husband. People don't usually have a ton of formal clothes so if they bought it for one wedding they should be able to wear it for all future weddings to come.
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Devoted December 2018
Megan · on May 18, 2018 at 9:31 AM
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I wouldn't. Especially because they will be there AND if it's close in timeline and something happened to it that would be the worst. But I get if he's frustrated because it's brand new and has just been tailored to him.
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Super May 2010
Officiallymrs · on May 18, 2018 at 9:41 AM
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I personally wouldn’t want my fiancé to wear it until after the other wedding just so that nothing happens to it ( stains, rips, etc.)..
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VIP October 2018
queenbee · on May 18, 2018 at 9:49 AM
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If he bought the suit, he can wear it when he wants. Maybe he can wear a different colored shirt to the wedding than he is wearing as a groomsman in the second one? Also I agree with PP, make sure he’s super careful and doesn’t spill anything on him that could stain! Maybe mention that to him, and that would change his mind? If not, keep wipes and stain remover on hand!
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VIP May 2018
Red Queen · on May 18, 2018 at 9:57 AM
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It's his suit, why shouldn't he wear it?
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