We want to have a ceremony at our local courthouse and do lunch after however we can't pay for everyone's

You can't. Even when we do the smallest, bare minimum ceremony with two spouses in sweatpants and two witnesses, they go out afterwards.

If you can't afford that, then wait.

You don't. You only invite the people you can afford to pay for, or you don't invite anyone. Or you wait until you can afford to pay for them.

Anyway you could have a small lunch at your house (or one of your parents') afterwards? You could get grocery store deli sandwich platters, sides, cookies, for pretty low cost.

While I actually think most people will understand that you can't afford to treat them to a meal at a restaurant, it just really isn't the nicest thing to *invite* them to join you at one, only to ask them to pay for themselves. . .

At least get cake and punch and a tray of cheese and crackers or something. Just let people know it is a cake & punch only so they will not anticipate a meal.

Consider waiting to have the ceremony until you can pay for everyone.

Just wait. What's the hurry? We were engaged a year before any planning started so we could put a few bucks away. It's worth the wait.

People are going to get pissed off and just not go. My friend did this but she only invited her family and a few close friends. She just said the ceremony is at this time after we will be going to such restaurant, you are welcome to join if you like. There may have been 15 people but all her important people were there.

Have cake and punch afterward. Not a tiered wedding cake, just a Costco flat cake, no alcohol, just soda and juice-- you'll be just as married and can afford to invite a lot more people.

"Tacky" is wearing a tinfoil dress with hot pink feathers glued onto it. Inviting people to witness your marriage and then making them pay for their own lunches is "rude". Even in an expensive city, it's easy to find pretty good brunch or lunch for around $10 per person-- could you afford that? For bbq or a more reasonable area, you could probably find $5 per person. If you can't do this, then I think you should invite them over for lunch at your house. You can do something simple like a veggie lasagna with salad, bread, and cake for really cheap. Bottom line: do whatever you have to do, but don't make your guests pay for their meals.

More ideas: Chinese takeout at home, order a few pizzas, or make your own pizzas. Brunch with a bunch of bagels, flavored cream cheeses, and a few salads. You could make any of these happen for under $100.

All great ideas. Thank you all so much. I have been struggling with this idea because deep down inside there is no way for that to not sound rude to people I have invited. $10 a person brunch/buffet is ideal, however I can't seem to be able to find such a price in the Santa Barbara and Ventura, CA areas.

Try Cafe 126 in Ventura, California. It's not elegant, but the reviews look great. They have a huge breakfast or lunch menu, and I don't think I saw anything over $10.00 on either menu.

http://www.cafe126.com/index.html

There's also a place called Panino's in Santa Barbara. Lunch looks good, and most selections are under $10. Here's the menu:

http://paninorestaurants.com/files/Panino_Menu_Santa_Barbara.pdf

If you're interest in Indian food, Tamira is reasonable and has good reviews. Here's the menu:

http://tamirarestaurant.com/menu/all/

There are plenty of places in Ventura and Santa Barbara that offer buffets (including Chinese and Mexican) and brunches. Unfortunately, many of them don't state the prices on the menu, and many of the Chinese restaurants don't have websites. Go to yelp and start a search for brunches and buffets, and then call the restaurants for prices.

You could do it in the morning and do a breakfast buffet. or you could do a cake and punch reception as someone mentioned before. You could do deli sandwiches. Or just cook a ton of pasta and make a few sauces (with and without meat) and then have a big salad, dinner rolls, and then soda. That's what I'm doing for my rehearsal dinner and all of the food will be under $100 for about 25 people, silverware etc. included.

How many people are you planning to invite? another way to keep costs down is cut the guest list.

You could say that it is a cermony only but if anyone would like to come celebrate with you, you and your dh will be going to x place.

I honestly don't see anything wrong with what you were planning. Since they are your family and close friends I'm sure they wont be offended if you just bring it up nicely. Just say something like,

"We would love you to celebrate our marriage with us. We plan on making a reservation at a restaurant and celebrating with the family." Originally at our rehearsal dinner my fiance and I were not going to be able to pay for all the people that wanted to come. So we just asked everyone if they would be offended if we only paid for our parents and the bridal party (those that were coming to the rehearsal) and if they wanted to meet us there afterward if they would mind grabbing their own tab. Not a single person on either of our sides had a problem with that. Luckly, we found a place that allowed us to budget in everyone. I honestly see no problem with that, neither did anyone in my family, and they are very traditional when it comes to the wedding. If you can't afford it you can't afford it. But perhaps think of alternatives like some of these brides suggested. Maybe instead have like a pot luck party or something? It's funny there are all these posts about not expecting things of your guests, but why are they allowed to expect things from us? idk, different topic though. Good luck!

We did the same thing for our civil ceremony and on the invite we said 'finger food and drinks to follow' so they would know they wouldn't be getting a full meal. We had a cake and me and my sisters cooked a lot of the food to cut costs.

Serve Cake, punch, champagne, and small appetizers and fruit and mini cheesecakes or cupcakes etc etc, you dont have to serve a full sit down dinner meal.