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Bride123
Dedicated August 2020

We had a bad guest - what to do now?

Bride123, on August 10, 2020 at 12:59 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 24

My husband and I are recently married. During the wedding, one of my MIL's friends (aged 50's/60's) behaved badly (of course at her goading - story for a different day). She did everything from trying to pull me to the ground, to getting drunk, yelling profanities at other guests, antagonize other...

My husband and I are recently married. During the wedding, one of my MIL's friends (aged 50's/60's) behaved badly (of course at her goading - story for a different day). She did everything from trying to pull me to the ground, to getting drunk, yelling profanities at other guests, antagonize other guests, she finally pulled a much younger guest's arm and threw a drink at her - glass included. This guest did all of the antagonizing and other guests insisting at her to stop culminated at this behavior. There was no 2 way street. My family, my husband, my FIL, and of course me, were categorically mortified by her "real housewives" behavior. We received a half apology where the person made a thousand excuses for her behavior and why it was somehow okay for her to cause such a scene at our wedding. After initially defending some of her actions, my MIL has cut ties with this person.


Now the tricky part, what do we do with this person's gift? Do we return it? If we do, do we provide an explanation? Do we send a thank you note? Keep it and say nothing?

24 Comments

  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith Online ·
    • Flag
    Considering her failure to take responsibility for her garbage, she might appear at MIL things you are at in the future, thinking all is fine after her pitiful non apology, if you just keep it. And I would want to break that notion so she, MIL, and anyone she talks to knows you have broken off all future contact, which returning a gift does.
    • Reply
  • mrswinteriscoming
    Rockstar December 2021
    mrswinteriscoming ·
    • Flag

    Keep the gift but send her a thank you card showing her you are the bigger person.

    • Reply
  • Holly
    Dedicated March 2021
    Holly ·
    • Flag
    That’s awful! I’m so sorry that happened on your special day. I would keep the giftcard since there won’t be a physical reminder of her in your home, and send a simple “Thank you,” note just so you can close this chapter with her.
    • Reply
  • Bride123
    Dedicated August 2020
    Bride123 ·
    • Flag

    Well here's the question... what do you put in the note? Certainly not thank you for attending ...

    Dear Sally,

    Thank you so much for the gift card.

    Bride & Groom

    To me this seems almost rude? I just don't even know what to say to this person.

    • Reply

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