We are torn if we want to write our own vows.

We have been going back and forth about this too. I think we've decided to go with traditional vows for a number of reasons mostly because I wouldn't be able to get through them without sobbing, I would be afraid that mine wouldn't sound as awesome as FH's and after hearing Tyler (from Teen Mom) gives his vows, they are the ones to beat!

We didn't write our vows, we said the traditional ones. But we did write our "ring exchange words", because we didn't like what our officiant wrote. So it was a nice compromise, we got to say a couple personally-written sentences but didn't have to come up with something epic for the actual vows.

We have been going back and forth about this too but i think we will write our own vows to give it a more personal touch.

FH flat out refuses to write his own vows. I'm on board with him. It's just not who we are.

Instead, we're making sure the readings and the ceremony itself reflects our relationship, how we feel about each other, and what we think a marriage is about. We're also CHOOSING our own vows. That is, picking traditional vows that we think sound nice and speak to how we feel about each other. Just enough to make it personal without needing us to proclaim our love with inside jokes and tears.

ETA: words are hard

We aren't writing your own vows, but if you do be sure to set some guidelines, like length and subject matter. The last wedding I attended the B&G wrote their own vows the bride's actually sounded like vows (I promise ....., I will .... ) but the groom's sounded like a short story where they end up together.... mmmmm it was sweet but there was like no vows.

You can do both! We said more traditional vows during the ceremony because that was important to us (though we did have a hand in writing/editing those with our pastor so that they were tailored to us) but we also each wanted to exchange something personal and private with each other...our own vows for us to hear/read only. We both decided early on we'd do this and have the MOH and BM deliver them prior to the ceremony. I bought these cute little "vow books" from Etsy that said "His Vows" and "Her Vows" on them and that's what we exchanged and read privately before the ceremony...the photog caught a few pics too though I am so glad we did it...it wasn't something I would have been able to make it through actually speaking during the ceremony!!! It's a lovely keepsake to have now as well.

FH wants us to write our own vows. I'm a nervous wreck over it!

We wrote our own and I kind of regret it. This makes me sound like a total bitch, but I was really disappointed in my husband's vows. They were just really generic and his delivery was so robotic (not like him at all), so this moment that I built up in my head, just fell flat. I also gave him a deadline to do them by, so we could get them to the officiant, and he kept missing it, so every time I think about the vows, I think about what a nag I was, and the extra stress it put on an already stressful time.

I'd say that my couples are about 50/50 with writing their own and repeating semi-traditional vows after me.

If the rest of the ceremony reflects you and tells your story, there really isn't a need for you to do taht all over again in your vows, and it's really an emotional time for many couples. An emotional time that can't be predicted....

Many of the vows I've witnessed have been too long, too laced with insider jokes and references, too sappy, and too long. Yes, I said it twice.

So if you're going to do it?

Eight lines. Max.

We're planning on doing traditional vows, but writing our personal vows in a letter and opening it the day of our wedding before we walk down the aisle.

Who knows though! We could change our minds and request to say our own!

Writing our own vows since we're both writers by career. I'll probably be an emotional mess but I want to express myself using my own words on my wedding day.

We wanted to write our own vows but because we had a catholic wedding outside of mass, we were not allowed. So what we did was write our own vows and then recited each other's in private for our videographer so the videographer captured the raw emotion of us reading each other's words in private for us to have forever on video. I would have regretted not doing something because we're not very lovey dovey people and this was outside of our comfort zones but that's what makes it so special

We are writing our own, but giving them to each other in letters earlier in the afternoon and then saying the traditional vows during the ceremony. I would be a mess if I had to read my own vows out loud during the ceremony, and if I cry then FH cries and we'd both be a mess.

We're kind of doing both. We're writing our own vows, but are doing the traditional ring exchange. For our vows, we're keeping them short and staying away from inside jokes or obscure references - Celia once suggested a "4 lines why they're your lobster and 4 lines of promises" format and I really liked that, so we're doing it along those lines. We're also having one of my roommates look over both of ours to make sure they're both similar in format and that everything is understandable for guests. We wanted the traditional ring exchange though, so we're keeping that.

We are probably not writing our own vows. FH is not really the type and he wouldn't be comfortable doing it and I just have a really hard time speaking in front of crowds (even if it is my family- I just get anxious). We will definitely be customizing our ceremony as much as possible to fit us and will probably write letters to each other to give in private.

We're choosing our cows but personalizing the ring exchange.

It was not stressful at all to write our vows, looking back that was the best part of our wedding hearing the vows DH wrote for me. When we watch our wedding video we both always tear up during our vows scene. We are Catholic and part of our engaged retreat was we had to write a letter to each other and read it that weekend. We decide to hold off on reading the letter until right before the ceremony so we had a lot of emotions going into the ceremony.

If you are torn I say don't do it. We did but only because I'm a writer and was very adamant about it. But if you're wishy-washy you're better off sticking with more traditional ones.

We wrote our own. I loved how personal and intimate it made our ceremony. Mine took about a minute to read, so not too long. Two paragraphs, the first one about when I knew I loved him, and the second one with my promises. I took the traditional vows and rewrote them into the promises.

We didn't write any portion of our ceremony and have no regrets! Our officiant had a lot of "mix and match" options for Opening Prayer, Declaration of Intent, Vows, Exchange of Rings, etc. We were able to put together a personalized ceremony that she performed seamlessly. We chose most everything that was said, we just didn't write it ourselves.