We are moving right after our wedding and probably can't bring a lot of gifts, need advice for shower/wedding

I am really sorry I have seemed to offend people, I actually wasn't aware that most places showers were only meant for gifts.

I am not insistent on having a shower out of greed, I really love the tradition of doing something with just the woman in both our families and I have family members who are very excited to throw me a shower and don't want to take that from them.

I am not asking for no gifts at my wedding or shower, we were just hoping there was a theme or way we could tell people we will need help once we move and won't be able to bring everything. I was hoping someone may have had a creative theme for a bridal shower that would still help us with moving and the wedding but limit the amount/size of the gifts to be more transportable. Honestly I would even be fine throwing a tea party and just getting small gifts. Its just that all the showers I have gone to the bride has gotten pots and pans and plates and bedding, all of which we would rather not have to move. Again sorry to offend. As another point though, mostly because I guess I am just a very relaxed person why do people get so offended if you ask them to offer monetary gifts to help the bride and groom buy a house or a much needed second car as opposed to gifts that they don't actually need?

Oh FFS, what is it with people writing these poems? Whhhhhyyyy?

Oh please oh please no cute poem

can someone link the awful "cute poem" from that baby shower that was posted here the other day? was it shanon?

^^ LOL! Which one? The poem that told people that their gift wasn't good enough and that they should be sending money? Or the poem that told people who didn't attend the shower that they suck and should send money? Those were awesome.

My mom thinks creating a registry in general is tacky and offensive. I think that's a little extreme, but there are people like her out there. So you have to just know that everyone won't agree with you.

DEAR GOD PLEASE NO MORE DAMN POEMS AND NO MORE ASKING FOR MONEY

IT'S NOT OKAYYYYYYYYYYY

@Emily - YES. both. UGH. i am so hopeful that THAT is the end of this "Cute poem means I can do whatever I want" B.S. that is a trend somehow

A shower is for actual physical gifts, so I would just decline the shower and instead have a girls day out or something like that. Small registry, word of mouth, that's how you ask for money on your wedding day.

Also, seriously, cute poems do not make asking for money okay, ever.

Please, no more poems.

@Ariana, to answer your other question, it's offensive because it's not right to ask someone else to pay for your life/lifestyle/party. If they offer up cash (by offering to help pay or just cutting you a check instead of a gift), that's their prerogative. But if someone told me, "I want to buy a house. Will you give me some money to help with a down payment?" I'd be reconsidering the friendship. Asking for money instead of gifts for the wedding is the same thing. People giving you gifts is their way of helping you start your life--some choose physical gifts, others choose cash, but telling them what to give you takes away the fun of helping you and makes it seem like you only care that they're paying their way.

@Ariana

Ourwishingwell.com allows for couples to list items that would normally be on a registry, but instead of purchasing the item...the guests actually contribute towards an item. It allows people to help you with your item wishlist, but everything you receive will be in cash.

Check out mine at this link for an example.

http://www.ourwishingwell.com/registry/view/410115587/Travis-and-Samones-Marriage-Celebration

^ so you think it is a good idea to pretend to register for items but in reality, you are just asking for and receiving cash. That is worse than just asking for cash.

I'm getting married in Miami, my hometown, but FH and I live in Paris. I'm not having any kind of registry. People will get the point. If they ask, you say that you cannot travel with gifts. They'll get it. I personally would not do the honeyfunds or anything that even remotely implies asking for money.

I was given a shower and most gifts were small and kept in mind that I would be travelling. I did get two large ones, which I did manage to bring with me thankfully!

Didn't say I would use the poem..just thought it was cute.

I love how everyone loses their minds when you start talking about money. FH and I actually joked with a few close family members that we would be auctioning off good seats. haha

Here it is plain and simple, not matter what you do SOMEONE is going to be offended. Those who know you best and love you will get over it. Those who do not get over it 1st of all won't give you money. and 2nd of all dont deserve to be there at all.

@Emily - What are you talking about? I think you just made that up that negativity in your own brain. It's not pretend. I am moving far away as well and instead of lugging things around and mailing things off. I can purchase what is requested with the cash when I get there.

If the shower is necessary I'd say to tell them no gifts because you're moving. Have the honeyfund info on your wedding website. They'll get the point and just give you gift cards or money at the shower instead.

Arlana, I know how you feel. As soon as my FH and I picked a date the next question I got from my great aunt (who's in her 70's - and thinking old school) was where are you registered? I told her I wasn't sure. FH and I already have our home and appliances and stuff that most people register for. My sister still insists on throwing a shower even tho we don't plan to register for anything really. She is planning a wine and cheese themed shower. Are you and your FH drinkers? If so, you could do a "stock the bar" theme where everyone brings a bottle of booze or wine.

Or how about a recipe shower... You ask the guests to bring their favorite recipe and include a recipe card with their shower invite. It would give you a stockpile of unique recipes, and it’s fun because everyone can contribute in her own special way. You could put a note on the invite that says in lieu of gifts, please bring a recipe for the bride-to-be.