We are moving right after our wedding and probably can't bring a lot of gifts, need advice for shower/wedding

I would get the word out. Depending on where you are and your guests, there will be many who will buy you presents instead of give you cash, though, so….

I'm also not a fan of a money tree shower.

I'd suggest not having a shower. I'm not planning on having one.

As far as wedding gifts, I created a honeymoon registry. It allows you to list items (like a dinner or tickets to a show) so your guests still feel like they are buying you something specific rather than just handing you money.

I also created a target registry with a few items because you will have traditional guests that want to buy you something tangible.

I agree with Kate -- I would just decline a shower in this case.

You can decline a shower if you don't want physical gifts ... that's really your only option etiquette-wise if you truly don't want gifts

most people will give you money for the wedding itself

@Kate - I think it depends on where you're from. I was raised to bring presents, I usually see presents, etc. On this forum, people keep saying that most people will give you money. At my wedding, however, it was evenly split - and the money presents weren't very high at all.

Thanks, most of our family and close friends know, and we do have a small registry. We are just trying to find away to say though we appreciate any gifts and aren't expecting anything at this point in our lives money to start our lives in a new place is what we really need.

I am not sure about not having a shower, my mother, step-mother and mother-in-law to be are super excited to throw me one and I would hate to take that from them. I was just trying to see if there were any creative ways to ask people to help with a downpayment or with the honeymoon that weren't as taboo as a moneytree. Thank you all for the advice though!

My friend got married in Virginia and lives in Houston, Texas. They did a traditional registry and then returned all of the physical gifts they didn't have room for and repurchased them when they got back to Houston. If you're buying a house you'll probably end up needing more than you already have (possibly organization items, new bathroom decor if you move to a bigger place with more bathrooms, etc). Maybe you can also find a place that will accept returns and give you cash back vs a gift card.

Maybe whoever is hosting your shower can work it into the shower theme and make mention of your upcoming move....??

I agree you shouldn't have a shower. A shower is for gifts not money. The rest of the time I would just have people spread the word and maybe put it on your wedding website that you are moving shortly after the wedding gift cards are appreciated or something.

@Erika - I agree kind of. I do think it's becoming the norm for a majority of people to bring a card/check to the wedding, but definitely some people will still give physical gifts. I think I got maybe 15ish actual gifts from my 120 person wedding. It was still much less than my shower though -- a shower is usually ZERO percent checks and cards and 100% physical gifts. That's more my point. If you get 10 gifts at a wedding, you can throw them into y our moving truck. If you have a 30 person shower you're going to have dozens of boxes and that, presumably, is when it becomes a PITA to haul it cross country.

I think there are registry sites that are like honeymoon registries, but are not honeymoon specific. Like you could build your own registry that lists things like "movie night: this gift buys us 2 tickets to a new release and a bucket of popcorn." But really you're just getting money.

Can you register for gift cards? at national chain stores like Bed & Bath, Target, Kohls, Walmart etc,.

That way when you end up where you end up you can buy what you need at the store and send the gift card giver a note of what you purchased and if the store isn;'t near you I am sure you could order online.

I am moving to another country after the wedding. I don't know if there will be a shower or not, but there had been talk of a tea party/lingerie party. If you tell enough people your situation most will have the common sense to give something appropriate. We also have a cash fund on our website.

No shower and do a honeyfund and put it on your wedding website.

@Lea we currently live in Canada but aren't sure where we will be located, it could be anywhere in North America and we won't know until about a month or so before we have to go, which is what is the biggest pain otherwise that was what we wanted to do. That way we could make a registry and people could send it to that location. No shower isn't really a great option, mostly because our families want to do as much as they can for us before we leave. I like the idea of doing a tea party/ having a theme that will limit the size of gifts though. Again thanks all!

You are asking for a polite way to ask for money - there isn't one. The point of a shower is to shower the bride with gifts and since you insist on going through with the shower, you will just have to deal with the gifts.

Most people are not going to hand over checks for a shower and there is no polite / cute / etiquette appropriate way to ask for money for your shower, sorry.

My cousin's FW put a cute poem on their WW site saying they already have everyhting they need and that money is always a good option. (They are in the process of building their dream home.)

We've come so far since our first kiss,

A wedding day, we sure hope you wont miss!

So, soon you will hear our wedding day bell,

As friends and family come to wish us well!

We have most things that newlyweds do,

A toaster, two cars, and even fondue

We do not wish to cause offense

But, for us it seems to make more sense

A monetary gift we would appreciate

From those who wish to participate.

Our hope for the future is a house to call home,

A yard for the dog so he can roam.

Our future is bright and filled with love,

A house to grow in is all we dream of

A lame poem does not make it ok.

No... please... no more poems.

Make a tiny registry and hope for the best.

There's no etiquette friendly way to ask for money.

I found this online registry. I have not personally used, but it sound like it might be something that would work for you.

https://www.simpleregistry.com/