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Dedicated October 2017

Way too many guests

Bianca, on October 4, 2017 at 1:14 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 27

Hello you all. I need help with my guest list. Our original list for our guests was around 85. We are now closer to 105!!! This is an issue for me as I am paying for catering and it's the major expense. This would add an additional $400 to the amount and I didn't budget for this. I have one guests...

Hello you all. I need help with my guest list. Our original list for our guests was around 85. We are now closer to 105!!! This is an issue for me as I am paying for catering and it's the major expense. This would add an additional $400 to the amount and I didn't budget for this. I have one guests who wants to include another family member to her plus one, his family invited people who were never sent an invitation and not on our list, but because we are doing our RSVP through a website, they were able to go and include themselves!! I want to have a list and stick to our original list so if they were not technically invited, they can not be seated. Is this rude? Should I just chuck up the extra money? Please advise me, because I'm about to blow a fuse. P.S, the wedding is in 17 days.

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27 Comments

  • Liz
    Savvy September 2017
    Liz ·
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    Oh HELL NO, you are not in any way obligated to (nor should you) fork over $400 for people who rudely invited themselves to your wedding. I think your fiancé needs to tell anyone from his side of the family that was not invited that there will not be a seat for them at the wedding, and you should do the same for your side of the family. I don't know how involved your parents are in the wedding, but you could also ask for their assistance with this. People can be so rude, I'm sorry you have to deal with this!

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  • Tell as all as time
    Dedicated November 2017
    Tell as all as time ·
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    Omg what right they have to invite other is a no I would not allowed it so is not rude if you tell them they can't come they wasn't invited. I did it the old fashion way rsv on mail and I wrote the names. They got the massage. Only the invited no extra. Good luck

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  • Vanessa
    Super November 2017
    Vanessa ·
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    I had one person do this but I immediately went on the knot website and changed it (it was under settings) now they are not able to add anyone. What website do you have?

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  • B
    Dedicated October 2017
    Bianca ·
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    The knot he said he changed it. He also removed their RSVP!!

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  • Jacks
    Champion November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    They need to be told they can't be accommodated. Let your FH deal with his family and make the calls if they won't. This isn't on you. Those people are unbelievably rude in adding themselves to the RSVP. Who does that?

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  • SarahB
    Just Said Yes November 2017
    SarahB ·
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    I had one person get upset at me because they tried to RSVP a plus one AND a friend who were not sent an invitation, and the RSVP section of the website wouldn't let them. We have a very strict list because our venue gave us a deal for having 50 people or less (we didn't want more than that anyway), and we are right at that limit. I've definitely learned firsthand how to exercise "No" through the whole planning process!

    Like most others are saying, the extras weren't invited and aren't contributing financially so they shouldn't be accommodated!

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  • Rosered
    Devoted January 2019
    Rosered ·
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    You definitely need to contact them and tell them that you cannot accommodate them. I don't think you can count on FILs to do it.

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