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Beginner August 2018

Warning: Rant: My Mom tried on my wedding dress 😭

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Callie, on February 22, 2018 at 10:42 PM

Okay, so this might be a long winded post, but I just have to share and get this off my chest since I’m still dumbfounded and unsure of how to react.

We ordered my dress from David’s last month, my mom bought it & paid for it & I had it shipped to my mother’s house since my mom is doing a majority of the planning since our wedding is in one state and we are in another state, plus I didn’t want my fiancé to get the temptation to sneak a peek. I get a text from her saying she TRIED ON MY DRESS. MY dress! Zipped it up, my dad saw it and everything, she even walked around in it.

I am so upset I don’t know what to say. I feel like my mom took away a special moment of my big day: that moment where the bride tries on her dress and it’s hers and hers alone. The first time I’ll get to try my dress on is at my first alterations appointment on my birthday, and I don’t feel as though it will feel like “my” dress knowing that someone else, let alone my own mother tried on my dress before I had a chance to.

Not to mention, I had wanted my dad to be surprised, and now that he has seen the dress, that moment is gone too.

The dress shop shop won’t accept returns, otherwise I’d insist on exchanging it for an unworn dress that I would then insist upon having shipped to my house. I know we don’t have the space and I’d be afraid FH would peak, but I am in shock that this happened and not sure what to do or how to proceed.

Any advice or input on how to deal with this situation would be welcome. It is incredibly frustrating, but I also want to handle this the right way, but at the same time let her know the act was unacceptable and I do not approve.

Thank you! ❤️

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61 Comments

Expert October 2018
Tiara · on February 23, 2018 at 12:24 AM
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I was moreso referring to the "I don't get what the big deal is" versus the "don't stress it" people, but I guess you're right since what's done is done
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Dedicated July 2019
Megan · on February 23, 2018 at 12:31 AM
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I would assume that MOB has a tendency of over stepping boundaries, wanting the spotlight, stealing the show, all about me kind of personality. It's probably icing on the cake for the bride to be... and seriously stranger then all heck.. like what in the world... I don't get it...
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VIP September 2019
Lex · on February 23, 2018 at 12:37 AM
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Oof, I’d be pissed. But then again, my mom is famous for being petty so I wouldn’t put it past her.
Would I get a new dress? No. Would I be royalty pissed and have a conversation with her? Heck yeah, tell her that it’s inappropriate and it hurt you. I’d also see about moving your dress to a more “secure” location (bff house, your house)
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Expert June 2018
Denise · on February 23, 2018 at 12:46 AM
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I would be upset as well, but for a different reason. I would have freaked out that she damaged it in some way lol. But not worried about her taking anything special away from me trying on the dress for the first time. Many people buy dresses that have been tried on before or used dresses from consignment shops. I think you need to give it a few days, let yourself calm down a bit. Then talk to her about how that was such an odd thing for her to do and give her the reasons why it upset you. Your dress is still special because it is YOUR dress. No matter who tried it on okay.
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VIP April 2018
Mrs.hays · on February 23, 2018 at 1:25 AM
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That’s really weird and I would be uncomfortable with it.. I don’t think that I would get a new dress but I would be mad.
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Expert June 2018
Adrianna · on February 23, 2018 at 1:32 AM
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Do I think that is that a strange thing to do? Yes. Do I think it's a big deal? No. Don't sweat the small stuff. I truly believe this is what they call "the small stuff."
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Expert March 2018
Heather · on February 23, 2018 at 1:43 AM
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I have to side with you on this. I would totally want a new dress and probably make mom pay for it. The dress you chose for your wedding is one that makes u feel a certain way.. I know for me that this being the first and only fancy tulle gown i have had in my life i had to have the perfect one.. Only me in it etc.. I got nervous leaving it for alterations. .and besides your mom got this chance already. .again sorry this happened to u.
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Expert May 2018
J · on February 23, 2018 at 1:43 AM
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Yes it was weird your mom did that, but the dress is still yours and just as special as it was before she tried it on. It’s really not tainted or anything like that. I think it’s okay to tell her that you wish she hadn’t done that and tell her not to do it again, but otherwise please try not to dwell on it and move on to more important things!
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Dedicated April 2019
SoontobeMrsG · on February 23, 2018 at 2:04 AM
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Omg why would she do that...I’ll have to get another dress...that is wrong on so many levels
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Super November 2018
Susan · on February 23, 2018 at 2:26 AM
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You’re overreacting for sure. As long as FH didn’t see it you’re fine.
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Super March 2018
Ariella · on February 23, 2018 at 3:52 AM
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This is based off of my own mother's personality but I would find this moment adorable lol.

At the end of the day, you are entitled to feel as you wish but, know that the dress is still special. It's all very different once you get the dress altered, you're glammed up, and glowing on your wedding day. I hope you can work it out and keep the dress that you fell in love with.
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Expert July 2017
SaraBear · on February 23, 2018 at 3:55 AM
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Is it weird? Yes. Does it warrant a new dress? No. Does it warrant making your mom buy you a new dress (as PP suggested)? Also no. I think you’re overreacting. You’re lucky your mom bought it for you in the first place. So many people buy dresses that were either tried on or worn already and that doesn’t make their dresses any less special than yours. I’d ask your mom not to do that again just because I’d be more worried about her ripping it or getting it dirty but it’s not worth getting mad and potentially damaging a relationship with your mom over.
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Expert September 2018
R · on February 23, 2018 at 5:31 AM
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Regardless of people feeling like you overreacted or not, it's still your feeling towards the situation. It's very odd that she would do this. I could never imagine my mom trying on my dress. It sounds like there are deeper-seeded issues. I would discuss your feelings with her. You don't want that resentment leading up to the big day.
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Dedicated May 2019
Bride2Be · on February 23, 2018 at 5:50 AM
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Her mother already did pay for it. If my daughter ever told me I had to replace something I paid for, especially when it's not damaged, I'd tell her she could buy her own.
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Devoted September 2017
Jana · on February 23, 2018 at 5:50 AM
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My first thought was that mom feels nostalgic about being a bride herself and couldn't resist the feeling of putting on a wedding dress again. Perhaps it makes her feel good to know she can fit in her daughter's dress. I don't know you or your mom, obviously, and maybe this was selfish, but I see this (as an outsider's perspective) as coming from an innocent place. This doesn't make the dress and less yours nor any less special. She needs to know this bothers you so she didn't keep putting it on...or maybe you just take it to your place and let it go. Definitely not worth a ruined relationship or cost of a new dress IMO
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Master May 2017
JerseyGirl · on February 23, 2018 at 6:25 AM
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Did you ask her why she tried it on? Been on the forums for a long time and have heard horror stories about dresses being the wrong size, damaged when received or the wrong dress. Perhaps Mom wanted to ensure all was good with the dress since she bought it for you. As far as Dad, I wanted the same moment and did a first look with him. My dress was hanging in his house but he had never seen me in it. It didn’t take away from anything. My grandmother accidentally showed DH the stock pic of my dress about 7 months before. If you are going to stress this much over the fact that your mom tried on your dress, there are going to be a lot of things that stress you during the wedding.

As as far as saying something and not approving, I would leave the not approving part out if you must say something.
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Savvy May 2018
Christy · on February 23, 2018 at 6:29 AM
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Very beautiful.
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Master April 2018
Powers2 · on February 23, 2018 at 6:31 AM
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I’m sorry you are upset but this doesn’t even register for me.

I guess let let her know this upset you and just pretend it didn’t happen ?
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Savvy May 2018
Christy · on February 23, 2018 at 6:45 AM
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There is one view point I will add.
Yes. You have every right to your feelings. It is your dress and your special day.
At least your mom is here to share it with you.

My daughter and I share many things. Even shopping for special dresses... She's always encouraging me to try on younger styles and several styles she picks out. Hers usually are more figure flattering. She just has an eye for design. Lol
I'm sure that if we went dress shopping together... We would try on the same wedding dresses as well. And if not together... Probably once she got home she'd say hey mom... Try it on... See how you like this cut.
I'm sorry your mom didn't think about your feelings. But don't let it ruin rour relationship or your very special day.
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Master April 2018
Mrs. Sponge · on February 23, 2018 at 7:01 AM
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I can see why this upset you, that would really bother me too. I don't understand why she would do that. I think you should talk to your mom and let her know how you feel, but if you love the dress I don't know that I would run out to buy a new dress. I don't think that she paid for it gave her the right to put it on.
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