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Beginner August 2018

Warning: Rant: My Mom tried on my wedding dress 😭

Callie, on February 22, 2018 at 10:42 PM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 61

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Okay, so this might be a long winded post, but I just have to share and get this off my chest since I’m still dumbfounded and unsure of how to react.

We ordered my dress from David’s last month, my mom bought it & paid for it & I had it shipped to my mother’s house since my mom is doing a majority of the planning since our wedding is in one state and we are in another state, plus I didn’t want my fiancé to get the temptation to sneak a peek. I get a text from her saying she TRIED ON MY DRESS. MY dress! Zipped it up, my dad saw it and everything, she even walked around in it.

I am so upset I don’t know what to say. I feel like my mom took away a special moment of my big day: that moment where the bride tries on her dress and it’s hers and hers alone. The first time I’ll get to try my dress on is at my first alterations appointment on my birthday, and I don’t feel as though it will feel like “my” dress knowing that someone else, let alone my own mother tried on my dress before I had a chance to.

Not to mention, I had wanted my dad to be surprised, and now that he has seen the dress, that moment is gone too.

The dress shop shop won’t accept returns, otherwise I’d insist on exchanging it for an unworn dress that I would then insist upon having shipped to my house. I know we don’t have the space and I’d be afraid FH would peak, but I am in shock that this happened and not sure what to do or how to proceed.

Any advice or input on how to deal with this situation would be welcome. It is incredibly frustrating, but I also want to handle this the right way, but at the same time let her know the act was unacceptable and I do not approve.

Thank you! ❤️

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61 Comments

Latest activity by Sexy Fashion Cactus, on February 23, 2018 at 4:06 PM

Champion August 2017
Mrsbdg · on February 22, 2018 at 10:44 PM
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I'd take a deep breath. This is not a big deal. You are going to look much different all done up on your big day. Your dad will still be surprised.
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Master October 2017
O · on February 22, 2018 at 10:47 PM
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Why? Why did your mom think that was okay? I would be royally p.o. I would have to buy a new dress .
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Expert June 2019
FMM · on February 22, 2018 at 10:50 PM
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I’m gonna be blunt here, this makes absolutely zero sense to me.. if she had done damage to your dress I’d say you absolutely have a reason to be upset. But otherwise, it has no real effect or impact on anything. Other than being a bit inconsiderate on your mom’s part, I don’t think it’s worth stressing about.
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Dedicated May 2018
TANYA · on February 22, 2018 at 10:52 PM
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I'm sorry this upset you... but honestly, in my opinion- you are over reacting.
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Master October 2017
fallinthegarden · on February 22, 2018 at 10:56 PM
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Yeah, I don't get it. Was it kinda strange of her to do that? Sure. Is it worth being angry about and wanting to order a new dress? No.
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VIP December 2018
Xandria · on February 22, 2018 at 11:01 PM
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I don’t think your over reacting.

Deep breaths, and remember your dad will probably forget what the dress looks like, and you’ll look very different in it anyway.
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Dedicated May 2019
Bride2Be · on February 22, 2018 at 11:01 PM
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I don't think this is a big deal, especially considering your mother paid for the dress. It's still your dress and will still be special when you finally get to wear it.
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Super August 2019
Bianca · on February 22, 2018 at 11:03 PM
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I’m sorry this has happened to you. I know I’d be upset and confused if someone did this to me.

I don’t think this is worth getting a new dress but your feelings are valid in this. I’d say get the dress from your moms (shipped to your home) and that way you know nothing will happen to it.
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Expert October 2018
Tiara · on February 22, 2018 at 11:09 PM
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I wouldn't invest in a new dress. You picked it because you loved it, and you will look wonderful. That is super bizarre though.
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Devoted August 2018
redhead · on February 22, 2018 at 11:12 PM
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It's very weird your mom would this, weirder that she told you and thought you wouldn't be weirded out. I would be irritated. But I wouldn't let it ruin my enjoyment of the dress.
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Dedicated October 2018
Bailey · on February 22, 2018 at 11:14 PM
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I am unsure why this is such a big deal? A lot of brides buy used dresses that have already been worn once or twice. Maybe your mom was excited and couldn't wait to see what it looked like, and I guarantee your dad will not remember the dress...
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Expert September 2018
char · on February 22, 2018 at 11:19 PM
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I would feel the same way. If my mom had done that I'd feel as if she had stolen something from me. My feelings are colored by the abusive, controlling, jealous and mean behavior she had toward me, so that is why I would feel the same. I don't know your mom and I'm sure she's nowhere near that toxic.

To those who don't understand it, that's great. But don't tell others, whose situations you don't know, that their feelings aren't valid.
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VIP June 2018
PrincessLawrence · on February 22, 2018 at 11:36 PM
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I can see why u are upset. I would be mad at my mom too. But dont think its worth getting a new dress over
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Master December 2016
Elizabeth · on February 22, 2018 at 11:51 PM
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My immediate thought was I don't get why this is a big deal, but I've been on the forums long enough where I've seen this happen before, exactly the same way -- the bride's mom tries on her dress, bride is upset and wants a new dress. I didn't get it before and I still don't. It was inconsiderate, but she didn't steal anything from you. That dress will be all yours on your wedding day and it won't make any difference whatsoever if someone else tried it on. Do you think women who buy from sample sales or online or consignment stores feel their dresses aren't special? Of course not. Hell, none of us knows who's tried on our dress, even designer ones. The designer's daughter may have tried it on before shipping. Who knows? The point is, it doesn't matter.
As for why your mom did this, my guess is because she's a girly girl and she gets excited about pretty, sparkly wedding dresses? Or maybe she was overcome with joy that her daughter is getting married and couldn't wait to see what the dress looked like on someone? Who knows. But I doubt she meant harm. This is totally not worth damaging your relationship over nor is it worth a new dress.
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Master July 2018
Cuoghi · on February 22, 2018 at 11:59 PM
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I think you are overreacting. When it comes down to it, it is just a dress. So much bigger issues in life and your wedding, like the marriage itself
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Expert October 2018
Tiara · on February 23, 2018 at 12:06 AM
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I'm amazed at how many people don't think it's weird for a mom and dad to be running around their house playing dress up with their daughter's wedding dress. I could see not being upset, but I just can't get over how strange that is!
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Devoted May 2018
Kaitlin · on February 23, 2018 at 12:09 AM
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I think that it is super weird and rude of her to try on your dress, but I don’t think that it necessarily warrants a new dress. Honestly, my dress was off the rack and I still would have loved it even if people had tried it on. The only reason I was able to get one that wasn’t tried on was it was a brand new dress that came in and I was the first to try it on, otherwise who knows how many people would have. Now, I think I would ask her to pay to get it cleaned though if she had gotten it dirty from walking around in it, but other than that I think you need to just take a few deep breaths and relax. Like others have said, it will look totally different on you than her. My dress looks nothing like it does on the internet picture in the pictures where I’m wearing it, they look completely different.
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Expert January 2018
Becky · on February 23, 2018 at 12:10 AM
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I'd be furious if my mother did that to me. However, in the long run it doesn't matter. After calming down, by all means tell your mother how much that upset you, that it'snot her dress, and why on earth would she think that you'd be ok with it etc. But in the end, I say pull an Elsa and let it go. It's not worth ruining your relationship with your mother over or spending money on a new dress.
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VIP May 2018
FutureMrsR · on February 23, 2018 at 12:15 AM
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I don't understand this one bit. Does your dress have to be a virgin or something? Like what?
I bought my dress from a thrift shop. Who knows how many people wore it before me. And it's beautiful all the same.
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Expert June 2019
FMM · on February 23, 2018 at 12:18 AM
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There’s a big difference between saying it’s not a big enough deal to stress yourself out over, and saying that it’s not weird. Like yes it’s weird but it happened, and what is she gonna do about it? Nothing.. so therefore it’s better to make peace with it. And let it go
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Warning: Rant: My Mom tried on my wedding dress 😭

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