Want to have a wedding but can't afford it

Every time one of these vague, "I have no budget" posts surfaces, the same advice is given; keep the guest list small.

That solves 90% of the budget problems right there.

Also, I'm glad Mandy's invites have already gone out for her OCTOBER 2016 wedding. Wonder how those RSVP's are gonna go....that is if shes requiring them, probably a waste to have people RSVP so just ball park it right? So cupcakes for 400?

ETA she is requiring RSVP's but online.

Also as a GFF (Gluten Free Friend) I would be SOL and not eat anything. I would rather starve than risk being exposed to gluten.

Thanks everyone for your comments. I know it's may seem easy for others I was just curious because I have friends get propose to and get married the next year and have a beautiful wedding with a lot of guest. And I'm like wow how could they afford all of that by themselves knowing their background. But then again they couldve had help from their family and friends as well

They could've had help, but they also could've started saving before getting engaged. I started putting money away when I knew I was going to marry my now fiancé, I knew we didn't want a long engagement and I knew there was no way we could have the wedding we wanted if we didn't save majorly. We'll only have been engaged for like 10 months when we get married, but I've been saving longer than that. Everyone makes it work for themselves differently.

@Ashley--my parents are paying for most of our wedding, and that's the only reason we can afford most of what we're getting. We have also been saving up to contribute as much as we can, and so have his parents. Don't get sucked into the trap that you have to have a Perfect Pinterest Wedding. All you need is you, your groom, the license, and the officiant. Everything else is just icing on your (optional) cake.

Dollar tree has of good stuff and thrift store and go to Sam club . You can have nice wedding and not spend a lot ask your friends

Ashley, the weddings you've attended, the ones that leave you wondering how they could afford "all of that" by themselves? Don't immediately assume that they had help from their family and friends. Don't assume, just because you know their backgrounds, that they couldn't have paid for their wedding through sheer force of will, living on an austerity budget, getting third jobs, and waiting.

Asking friends and family to fund your wedding is grotesque. If your family -- as in, your parents -- can comfortably contribute to your wedding, be thankful. Friends? No. No "friend" should offer to pay for any part of your wedding, and if they do, be a dignified human being and turn them down right after you thank them.

It may be news to you, but not every woman in the United States is as entitled to a dream wedding as she is to a Social Security card. If money is so tight that you can't afford a wedding, you have a few choices. Wait, proceed with the small wedding I've already described, or spend your money elsewhere. As I've said, you can have a beautiful, formal wedding for 20 people (or you can have a notoriously "cheap" wedding for 200 for the same price). I'd suggest you be dignified and host 20 people properly instead of 200 ridiculously. I cannot get my head around the concept that a wedding is a prom. Use your money for more important things -- things that, if managed correctly, will leave you in a place to host the best tenth year anniversary you could think of. How about a down payment on a house or an investment in a business? When money is that tight, the best two choices are to save it (with interest) or invest it. Spending it on a six hour affair that leads you back to poverty and trying to figure out how to rob Peter to pay Paul makes no sense.

I sound like a broken record, but I have to ask -- what's more important? Is it the wedding or the marriage?

Mandy, just a word of advice. Insurance. You are going to need it (just in case) if you self cater your wedding. Better safe than sorry, dear. I would be sure the cake is covered too. In case the glue melts or the screws do not hold on that stand you made.

@ashley- Those friends could have gone into debt for those big, fancy weddings (since you say they can't afford them). Two of my sisters get fancy new purses, get pampered, go on lots of vacations, etc, etc. Do you know what they also have? Mountains of credit card debt. As in, over 10k in debt. Don't do that. It's not worth it. Or, they saved before being in that relationship. Girls tend to get drilled in their head the romanticism of getting married. I started a savings fund a few years before even meeting DH to go towards a house or wedding. An extra $20 here. An extra $10 there. Over X amount of years, it adds up!! I understand the frustration of wanting a big box wedding but not having the means. But there ARE ways to do it. Definitely keep it small, though. A lot of advice was given here. Were you still looking for advice?

Holy hell I'm glad OP didn't hide this after the wrath of Mandy! Anyway, we've been saving since before we started dating. I had priorities in life. Mainly to have my own roof over my head and a working vehicle at all times. I saved about $1000 a month. I lived with roommates when I really didn't need to. I drove a crappy Cavalier when I really didn't need to. I did the majority of my food shopping at the dollar store... Again.... Really didn't need to. By the time we were engaged, I must have had around $15,000 saved in an account that I really had no access to. I opened an account with a credit union that wasn't located in my state. I cut up the debit and atm card. Requested not to have any checks. If I wanted to transfer money out of the account into my normal checking account, it better be good a good reason because they'd charge me for the wire transfer.

In the end, we were extremely fortunate and my brother gifted us each $14,000. We stuck to our original wedding budget, put that money into a separate savings account, and took the rest of it (plus what each of us had in our savings) and put the 20% down on our first house.

You have to be willing to make some serious sacrifices if you want to save for anything in life. You need to learn to live on a low budget and don't even look at the money that's going into your savings. It's hard work, but it can be done!

I'm looking to spend about $6k on my wedding. My long engagement is more to do with other finances (graduating/paying for university) before paying for wedding, but maybe set it for two years out. Check out things like weddingbug for discounted photographers ( they're nation wide) really it's about figuring out what's most important to you. We're having 50 guests, using a family friends Vineyard as our venue, food truck BBQ for dinner, and not having a DJ. Pictures are very important to me, so I'm making a photo booth and all of my props for that. Mom is buying my dress. Dad is paying for honeymoon. See what your family is willing to contribute. I'm spending a bit more on my rentals than I originally hoped to, but otherwise my decorations will be bud vases and tea lights. Having an idea of what you want the wedding to look like will really start you off in the best direction. Priorities are beyond imprtant. And as far as a venue goes, try checking out your local American legion or see if there's any venues that high schools use. Those can tend to be a bit cheaper. I was originally looking at a historic barn museum that has a banquet room kinda deal with all of the tables and chairs included. They also have outdoor space available and a gazebo for the ceremony. There's tons of options if you really get down to looking. But budget and priorities are the most important things to set

...just hoping Mandy came back, it is Wednesday.

Me too Emmy. Mandy is sassy and entertaining.

Ashley - I'm glad you didn't hide this thread since we all decided to let Mandy know she gave terrible advice. You don't have to go into debt to have a nice wedding. Most people save for years to have a nice wedding and to properly host their guests. And certainly DON'T expect people to contribute anything to your wedding.

Mandy- I am bored, please come back and call us fun names again.

Lauren- I hve never heard that word either but I think I like it.

OMG. Mandy, your great. I don't agree with much of what you said, but you made my day. I wouldn't be surprised if you did pull it off. You've got tenacity.

In some circles a lot of what you said is true. I once was invited to a wedding of someone I once worked with. The invite said to bring a dish to pass. I was floored, but I really liked this coworker and was happy for her, so I made my dish and I went. I learned a lesson that day. The wedding and reception was in her parents back yard that was surrounded by gorgeous corn fields. Unmatched tables and chairs spread out everywhere. There were even blankets on the ground for people to sit. There were well over 200 people. And the food....tables filled with dishes and crock pots! The amount of desserts blew my mind. There was a small cake the grandmother had made for them to cut into. And people came hauling beer. They had family, friends, church members, and community who came together to make a girls wedding day a memorable one. Bringing a dish to pass wasn't something they did just that day, it was a part of who they were and how they lived. In my "lol...highfalutin" world it wouldn't fly. You can describe that type of wedding by many things but it's done in love and unselfishness, and by people who it seem to rise above rules made by us "highfalutin" people. More of us need that type of heartfelt way of thinking.

We can sit here and dictate rules and etiquette to one another....I do it all the time. But there are people who's worlds run differently.. And sometimes it's refreshing.