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Just Said Yes September 2021

Walking down the isle drama. help

Sarah, on June 16, 2021 at 8:29 PM Posted in Planning 0 7

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My biological father left when I was 8 years old and has my been an active part of my life since. The last time I saw him was in 2007. For the last 8 years I have gotten very close to my step dad. He stepped up and treated me like one of his own since he married my mom.

Well now my biodad is wanting to walk me down the isle and I feel like he has no right to be the one to do this. He isn’t contributing to my wedding but I do not want to hurt his feelings. I want my step dad to walk me down the isle. I was thinking about having my biodad be apart of the wedding since we are trying to rebuild our relationship but I don’t want him to be the one to walk me down the isle.
Any ideas?

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7 Comments

Latest activity by Ellen, on June 26, 2021 at 9:26 AM

Super February 2022
Grace · on June 16, 2021 at 8:39 PM
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Setting boundaries is a really important part of healthy relationships. Yes, it would be good for you to include your bio-dad in some way but if you want your step-dad to walk you down the aisle, that is what you should do!
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Super October 2022
AJ · on June 16, 2021 at 8:50 PM
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I agree with Grace. If you want your step dad to walk you down the aisle then ask him, your bio dad might be hurt but just because he’s your bio dad doesn’t mean he auto gets the right to walk you down the aisle, especially since he’s been absent for so long.
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Dedicated April 2022
Piper · on June 16, 2021 at 10:22 PM
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No one gets an automatic ticket, not even your step dad since more and more brides to be opt for walking alone or with their fiancé for various reasons. This decision is strictly up to you, the bio dad has the right to be hurt but has 0 rights to guilt trip/pressure you, regaedless of your relationship; even if he were part of your life since he left your mom, he wouldn't warrant this honor.
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Super September 2022
Sarah · on June 17, 2021 at 8:18 AM
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I agree that you should have who you want to walk you down the aisle. So if it's your step dad then you should do that. If you still want your bio dad to have some special part of the day you could have him pretty much anywhere in the processional, either by himself or walking down with your mom (if she's comfortable with that) or a grandparent. Or you could have him do a reading or be an usher. Just some ideas! Good luck!
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Devoted June 2021
Emily · on June 17, 2021 at 9:33 AM
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If you want your step dad to walk you down the aisle, then do it ! You also could have them both walk with you, one on each side, but only if you WANT them to.
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Expert February 2022
Maddie · on June 17, 2021 at 1:23 PM
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Your biodad should just be happy he's INVITED to the wedding. I only recently reconnected with mine about 6 years ago, and it's been great, but I never once thought he should walk me down the aisle. It has always been my step-dad who's been there since I was 5. Luckily, I think my biodad knows this and hasn't mentioned anything to me.
Don't let him guilt you into something that doesn't seem right to you. Someone mentioned having him be part of the processional in some other way, which seems like a nice compromise.
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Devoted October 2021
Ellen · on June 26, 2021 at 9:26 AM
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Maybe as someone said have him as part of the processional or maybe walk you part way and step dad walks you the rest of the way up to the altar.
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