Vow renewal help!!!??!?

OP you can call your ladies Ladies of Honor. That's what I did. Is it extra, absolutely. Necessary, absolutely not. But this was special to me and I chose to do it.

Kelly, thank you to your husband for serving our great nation. And thank you, Kelly, for your sacrifices being a military wife. Please enjoy your big day any way you please. As long as your guests know that you've already officially tied the knot, you are still entitled to the wedding of your dreams. Your officiant will help with some of the verbiage in the ceremony but everything else should be as with any other celebration of marriage. Best wishes.

It's your day, your party, do what makes you happy!!! I just would suggest that not asking for gifts is a really good idea.

1. Thank your husband for his service on my behalf.

2. This is a very unpopular opinion on this forum, but IMO you can still have the whole wedding schbang even if you had a courthouse wedding. The courthouse can be your legal marriage, but your wedding can begin your religious/ceremony marriage if you'd like. Especially in your unique situation and being unable to have a traditional wedding because FH was off defending our rights, I don't see why you should be deprived of something you have dreamed of. Some may call it a "pretty princess party," screw them. A lot of sacrifices come with being a military family ... a traditional wedding doesn't have to be one of them.

I also don't see why gifts would be bad in this situation. Guests bring gifts to parties to thank the hosts for hosting them, not JUST to weddings. If you go to a super fancy birthday party or cocktail party, you give big gifts too. You'd still be hosting people at a party, so they'll probably bring gifts. Also, you didn't get gifts before so it's not as if you keep hosting continual parties and expecting gifts or something.

You can have whatever you want - bridesmaids, everything. It's your day, regardless of your legal title. Vowel renewals are just as special as the "legal" ceremony.

I'm a big fan of doing what you want. Go for it girl. You dreamed of this, don't let someone tell you not to do it.

I say do what you want! People should be understanding that you could have the big get together the first time.

I'm in the military and have a different view than many people on here because of that. Literally all of my military friends that have gotten engaged in the last 2 years went to the courthouse and got married prior to their wedding because they needed to do that in order to be stationed with their spouse. It's extremely common in the military. Literally people assume that's what I'm going to do. I have yet to meet a single person in the military who gets offended by someone who gets married at the courthouse then has a celebration of marriage. Most even call it a wedding. I don't think it's rude or against etiquette to want to celebrate like it's your actual wedding day. I know this is an unpopular opinion, normally I wouldn't post because of that. But I am in the military and meet very few couples who don't get legally married prior to their big marriage celebration and have yet to hear anyone be offended about it. I will say most [but not all] of these couples are couples where both people are in the military. Obviously just because many people I know did this, doesn't mean it's right. I do think the military makes it different though and I think many people are understanding of that.

View Quoted Comment You’re truest a blood sucker. Let her be!!! It is not at all insulting to anyone how chose something that you pick a different thing. And for the people who “might think it’s tacky” I wouldn’t invite them. What for?

View Quoted Comment Thanks for responding to a comment I made two years ago, I guess.

View Quoted Comment Let her be happy, you don’t really have a say into what other people want to do with their lives. Specially if it has nothing to do with you

View Quoted Comment A but bitter or what?

This forum is labeled "Etiquette and Advice." True, they are not always the same. But concerns about etiquette are expressed here--and responded to. Often with advice based in traditional etiquette as expressed by Miss Manners.

And I would be astonished if anyone ever had a 100% perfect anything. Life doesn't do perfect--very good, even excellent, but not perfect.

My husband and I are renewing our vows and spending twice what we did at our wedding. Granted, when we got married, we didn't have very much money, AND my mother in law got naked at our reception and passed out in the hallway near the buffet table. Also, I was running fever... didn't eat, could barely dance, and ended up in the hospital a few days later. But, after 10 years, we are renewing in Key West in November and I'm doing the dress, the shows, the plated dinner... We are doing it exactly how we want it. I say, it's your decision and no matter what people are going to have fun. We invited our original wedding party and their spouses and all but one couple is coming with us. Ignore the haters and do what makes you and your hubby happy. Guests that want to be there and celebrate with you will show up, and the ones who think you are tacky for doing it and don't show up... who cares!? I think it sounds perfect!!

View Quoted Comment I think under the circumstances I think you should do what makes you happy. Ignore all the negative comments. My husband and I are renewing our vows after 20 years in November. I am having my best friend, daughter and sister stand up with me (my sister is the only original bridal party member). i debating on my kids or my stepdad to walk me down the aisle. My stepdad has never walked any of us (2 sisters and 1 stepsister) down the aisle. I was going to have my father officiate. We are spending more money this time, doing it the way we want.

You can do what you want. You can ignore anyone's suggestions. And you will be judged by some of your guests (not all--but some) as showboating, tacky, ostentatious, self-dramatizing, gift-grabby, etc., etc. And some people invited won't come. And others will come and think it's great.

You can control what you do. You can't control some people's negative responses to what you do. Maybe you can not care about those people.

Usually the advice of an etiquette board (see heading above) is aimed at increasing the comfort of the guests and reducing their negative judgments. If you don't care about that, I don't see why you're consulting an etiquette board, even if it was a couple of years ago.

View Quoted Comment I'm so happy I came across your response! 💜 You make it feel good to renew with a first wedding experience.

Listen, this is YOUR special day so do what YOU want! Now if you had the big wedding celebration in the past I would say go minimalistic but the fact that you had to have a court house wedding shouldn’t deprive you from the magical moments you would have had if you were able to have your dream wedding. So YES walk down the isle with your dad, YES have a wedding party, YES have a first dance and YES have cake! Your husband is serving our country and I’m sure all of your friends and family will be honored to attend you wedding!

View Quoted Comment

I disagree with this 100%%%%%%

Hey Honey! Forget what other people think! It's Your life, Your husband and your wedding! You make the rules not other people and especially not total strangers on weddingwire.com lol... me and my husband had a small intimate wedding just us ,our children and our parents in the park and we will be having our vow- renewal a,k.a wedding celebration in a few years. And guess what? WE are going all out! Yes I'm having my Bridesmaids, but I call them my "SISTAHS" they all add value to my life, my dad is walking me down, I'm doing my first dance with my dad and my grandfather because my wedding date is his birthday and he will be turning 86! We are treating our bridal party to a coed Bachelorette & bachelore party weekend in Las vegas. We are all good friends! and this is a huge celebration! Our 1st Ceremony was good enough and our vow- renewal will be just as special. I'm also having a DJ, A cake ,photographer and videographer! So go for it it Girl!!! I can't wait to see pictures of your big day!!