Vow Renewal Etiquette/Wedding that never happened

@Kassy, no, you're right. Many things vary by location. But there are basics that apply everywhere.

"Whether you register or not people will bring a gift. Might as well be something you need. Have at it." (regarding having a registry) That's breaking etiquette everywhere. You don't just "do whatever you want because it's your big day". Even OP agrees, showers/pre wedding celebrations are a no no. Some things are fine (such as having her dad walk her down the aisle)

@lucy

@ Kristin- I am sorry that you percieved the advice given as negative. Yes, it is your day and you should have what you like, but the girls were just giving avice to some things that may come with a raised eye to some since you guys have been married and its not a second wedding etc. There are many websites, planning books nd planner who will state just what they are saying.

@ OP- have the white dress, bouquet, dad walking you down the aisle, whatever you wish, but i would forgo the prewedding events such as the showers and bachelorette party. maybe a girls night or spa day before the wedding?

Kristin is pissy because she wanted to register for money for a fund for her children for a "wedding" she is having when she has been married for like 13 years already. It wasn't even a gift registry. A MONEY registry for her kids.

Gee I can't imagine why some people didn't agree with that. Eye roll.

When someone specifically ASKS about etiquette, they are going to receive etiquette-related responses. Shocking.

I apparently missed Kristin's "kid money registry". (are you freakin serious??) Wish I hadn't.

@lucy it was a total cluster.

I can't believe not bringing a gift to someone vow renewal or anniversary party is actually a thing. I don't care if you invite me to a backyard BBQ for the 4th of July. I'm going to bring something. But them again it doesn't matter if you are register or not I only give cash for wedding, birthday, anniversary etc. because I'm to lazy to shop for a present.

It's bad etiquette to ask for a gift but it's equally as bad etiquette not to give one.

WTF do they do that at lol

^ no.

I say do what you want. Have the wedding you never had. I'd be much more supportive of someone like who who postponed a wedding celebration to take care of priorities (like your child) than someone who keeps getting divorced and remarried just for the sake of having another wedding. You guys deserve to have a big celebration and anyone who is offended and thinks its just a big production hopefully won't show up and you'll be better off without negative side eye rollers there. Good luck and have fun!

Do whatever makes you and H happy.

We have been married for almost 3 years and are having a full blown wedding because we want to and we are paying for it. Once I see Etiquette sign one of these checks we are writing for vendors then I'll follow that advice

Good luck to you.

Well said @MrsE.

@Emmy I don't get the ^ no. If that is for me or my comment you have to explain further because I don't fully understand WW shorthand yet.

It's bad etiquette to ask for a gift but it's equally as bad etiquette not to give one.

I meant no to that. That simply isn't true. Asking for gifts is flat out rude and bad etiquette, there are plenty of situations that is not bad etiquette to not give a gift.

For example, far away destination weddings, one typically does not gift hugely for based on the expense of the trip. It isn't even bad etiquette not to gift at any wedding...tacky as hell...but your presence at the celebration is really all that is necessary.

I'm doing a laid back 5 yr vow renewal in a park. Potluck reception. Mostly because we never did the big thing and this is more how we are. Casual, Laid back, family focused (hence the potluck), food not gifts. And being able to hang out with everyone celebrating we made it this far. We had troubles at first and now we are stable and happy. I think it's a good time to celebrate. 5 10 20 yrs whatever feels right for you as couple do it!

View Quoted Comment Nice response, from the women who seems to have a nice wedding picture as her profile image. Looks like you had a nice wedding day, some people aren’t so lucky. Maybe stop being so judgy. Awful person