Kelly
Beginner August 2020

Venue Won’t Give Refundable “back Up Date”

Kelly, on May 3, 2020 at 6:27 PM Posted in New Jersey Planning 1 9
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My wedding is supposed to be in NJ in 08/15/20. I was feeling particularly anxious today, so I called my venue. They told me all Saturday’s for next summer are already booked, and there are only a few Sunday’s available in July. They also will not allow me to hold another date at all without making a non-refundable (expensive) deposit. I also can’t just choose to move it without losing 70% of what I’ve already paid (another big sum). I have to have the wedding on my original date if the governor gives the ok. By the time the governor says anything about August, all good dates will be gone. And who knows what my vendors availability will be.


It’s very frustrating to have planned WAY ahead on a very expensive venue to only be told that I’m going to get stuck with a weekday probably in a winter month (but not November or December, they’ve booked that up too)! I would also have to move my date within a year from my current wedding date. I’m a teacher and it will be very hard for me to take off for anything during the year. I also really wanted a summer wedding. I understand that people need to make money, but there is no way that my date wouldn’t sell come August. They just want to stick covid brides with the undesirable dates. I can’t believe the lack of empathy. August is a very special month to us. I’m so sad.
For those of you who have back up dates, did you have to put down a nonrefundable deposit?

9 Comments

Latest activity by Nefetera, on May 4, 2020 at 2:43 AM
  • Sarahphillips
    Dedicated June 2021
    Sarahphillips ·
    • Flag
    As a “covid bride” that had to postpone my wedding I would highly suggest waiting before making that decision. Wait to see how NJ does as it reopens things. However, if you feel like you need that reassurance that you have a back up date and you can afford it, go for it. Good luck!
    • Reply
  • Candice
    Dedicated July 2020
    Candice ·
    • Flag
    Hi - I’m sorry about all the stress. This whole situation has been so difficult. Honestly I think you will be okay in August, depending on the size of your wedding. How many guests do you have? Would you be willing to go to 50 if needed? Would it really be better to have a weekday or winter wedding than to move forward this August? Who knows what will happen next year. We are 7/25 and plan to move forward. If we have to reduce the # of guests to about 45 we will...we will only move the reception to next year if we can have 10 or fewer. We will get married no matter what. Best of luck to you - I wouldn’t lose hope just yet. And winter with all the other I’ll viruses that pop up seems like an even riskier option. 🙏🤞🏼
    • Reply
  • Carlette
    Dedicated August 2020
    Carlette ·
    • Flag
    Our date is August 14th. Although we're waiting before we decide to postpone; I did speak to our venue and they are willing to move our date with no financial requirements. Luckily all of our vendors have been understanding. I hope it works out for you.!
    • Reply
  • Amy
    Beginner September 2020
    Amy ·
    • Flag
    Teacher here too! My wedding is planned for June 27 so I totally get it. I was thinking week of Thanksgiving for a weekday or anytime over Christmas break!
    • Reply
  • P
    January 2014
    Pam ·
    • Flag

    They just want to stick covid brides with the undesirable dates. I can’t believe the lack of empathy.

    I get your frustration, a LOT of people share it with you. But this is really unfair; no one is looking to "stick it to covid brides." There are only 52 Saturdays in a given year. August may be a very special month to you, but if there are no dates available to suit you, they can't just pull a few more Saturdays out of thin air.

    • Reply
  • Kelly
    Beginner August 2020
    Kelly ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Yes, but they could allow me to put a deposit down or not charge me 70% of what I’ve already paid to change my wedding date during a global pandemic where people are losing their jobs
    • Reply
  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
    • Flag

    Hi from another Jerseyian!

    I'm so sorry you're dealing with all this.

    Ok, bright side: NJ is re-opening parks, and we're seeing an improvement in the numbers in North and Central Jersey. We *are* bending the curve! (South Jersey is not, yet, but they got hit last.) So, here we are, 3 1/2 months before your wedding, and we are starting to see some progress!

    Flip side: It's highly unlikely that large gatherings are going to be allowed by mid-August. We're cracking this thing, but we're not there, yet. And we got hit bad - 2nd only behind NYC. (To be fair, I can *see* NYC from my street, so... there's a reason.)

    Best advice we've all got:

    Have a Plan B (this is what is so hard right now)

    Be Flexible

    Don't make decisions until you *have* to.


    Given that your venue is being stubborn, and you've got 3 months, try to breathe and hold off on decision making until at least the end of this month. Restrictions change from week to week, so you are going to have a clearer picture by June. You may be able to have a 50 person gathering, and have a vow-renewal big wedding at a later date. You could always video conference in people who couldn't safely make it!


    Hang in there. Jersey Strong.

    • Reply
  • Crystal
    Devoted October 2020
    Crystal ·
    • Flag
    I would look at your contract, or have a lawyer friend look at it. If your contract is for a minimum amount of people and you legally can’t have it, they wouldn’t be able to fulfill your agreement.


    Losing 70% for postponing seems off to me. Most vendors are happy to switch as long as you stay with them.
    I hate when people say this to me, but do they do Friday’s or weekdays and would that work for you? (It wouldn’t for us, being family are coming from other states). Just tossing ideas out.
    Keeping my fingers crossed for you!
    Btw, gorgeous venue!!
    • Reply
  • Nefetera
    VIP March 2015
    Nefetera ·
    • Flag
    Honestly I would say wait ...a little longer bc Aug it maybe clear of allowing a large crowd to gather. U wouldn't cancel as of yet...
    • Reply

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