Stefanie
Beginner January 2020

Venue regrets

Stefanie, on August 21, 2019 at 12:47 PM Posted in Planning 0 9
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So, I'm having major venue regrets. I originally wanted to get married on the beach in San Diego...it was gonna be really difficult for people close to us (I went as far as looking up marriage license laws there) so we nixed that idea. I found a venue that was...just gorgeous in a town an hour away. And then I found one in town that included more and was pretty....not exactly me, but pretty. And I decided to go with the closer one because I was worried about how inconvenient it would be for everyone helping me to go to the other one.

And I regret it so much. When I picture my wedding...I picture the other place...which my wedding is on a Monday (part of the concern for my guests was based around that). I have been so stressed trying to figure out how to decorate this venue to what I would want it to be and..it's still not me.
I can get it closer but I have spent the last month and a half just...wishing I had just eloped, and telling my fiance like every day, "we can still elope." I spent an hour the other day looking through their Instagram photos going, "OMG what did I do, this is not the right place. These photos are pretty...and I have zero attachment, I feel nothing good when I look at them, this is not where I want my wedding to be.". Went and looked at the venue in person again and...found ways to make it better, again even more work, but still not something I love...and the person who answered a couple of my questions that day was super rude and condescending and definitely didn't make me feel better about sticking with it (I didn't mention anything about canceling my contract.).

I decided that I wanted to cancel and go to the other venue...and I'm trying to figure out how to approach this. When I looked at my contract I am liable for the full amount if I cancel within 8 months of the wedding, I only had four months when I booked it to begin with. Which, I fully understand the concept of lost business if someone else didn't book because the date wasn't available..I would understand that. However, my wedding is on a Monday and I doubt anyone has tried to book that day; I don't expect to get my deposit back. She has the right to hold me to my contract and I would owe the full amount; although at this point I'm quite certain they haven't lost another client for that day and basically they would be getting $1000 for two conversation and the time it took to send me their standard contract.

Any advice on how to approach this conversation?

9 Comments

Latest activity by Katelyn, on September 13, 2019 at 4:34 PM
  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah Online ·
    • Flag
    Send an e-mail that says “Upon consideration, we have decided to terminate our contract with (venue name) for (date).” Be prepared to pay the remainder of the balance though because you signed a contract that said you would. Whether they could/would book that date isn’t really relevant to the contract language.
    • Reply
  • Iva
    Super September 2019
    Iva ·
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    Agree with this. The venue has full right to charge you the whole amount, per your contract. Whether they’d book another wedding or not is irrelevant (unless this specific language is included in your contract). The venue manager could decide to be really nice & only keep your deposit, but this is not very likely.
    I personally think that reception space is only a small part of your wedding experience, especially if the venue is pretty, as you said. For me it would not be worth rescheduling the whole wedding 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’m sure, as you said, you could make it look nice with your flowers, decor etc. & that your wedding would be wonderful & memorable.
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  • Cristy
    Master May 2021
    Cristy ·
    • Flag

    I would call or go in person and try to talk to whoever is in charge about this. Explain that you made a mistake. Say you jumped on it too soon, and it's really not what you want. See if there's any way they would let you cancel without charging the entire amount. Maybe if you are ok with letting the deposit go, they will let you out of the contract with no further charges.

    If they won't, then you may have to stick with that venue. But it can't hurt to ask. Most people are reasonable if you are respectful in your approach.

    • Reply
  • B
    Savvy August 2019
    Brandi ·
    • Flag
    As people have said above, be prepared to pay in full; a contract is a contract. That said, just thinking about my own wedding, the venue isn't the memory that sticks out most in my head. You make the space your own when you add your own decor and fill it with people that love you. You will be so busy doing everything else that day that you might not even notice the venue. I'd have a talk with your future spouse for a second opinion before you cancel your contract. If you decide to go that route, at least you and your future spouse can approach it politely as a team.
    • Reply
  • Stefanie
    Beginner January 2020
    Stefanie ·
    • Flag
    So, I spoke to the owner last night and...she's so amazing (which I feel like is one of the reasons I thought I would love the place despite that it wasn't my style) and I didn't even finish and she goes, "honey why are you stressing about this? It's okay! It's not your style and it isn't gonna be, there's no reason to be upset, I completely understand! You only get married once and it's gotta be just right. I'm not in this business to have unhappy brides!" And then she started talking getting me my deposit back. Which I was prepared to pay the full contract if I had to (with a fight) and her volunteering my deposit back...wow. So far above and beyond what I could have ever hoped. I wished so much that the venue was my thing because she's a truly great person.
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  • Clíodhna
    WeddingWire Administrator January 2030
    Clíodhna ·
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    I'm SO happy to hear this worked out for you, Stefanie Smiley smile

    Have you booked the other venue yet? Are you feeling much happier now?

    • Reply
  • Stefanie
    Beginner January 2020
    Stefanie ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    I did and it's such a relief! I had been totally thrilled to get married but literally miserable doing the wedding planning and so stressed thinking of all the things I had to do for make that venue anywhere close to what I was picturing. And now...I'm having so much fun planning. It was totally the right decision.
    • Reply
  • Clíodhna
    WeddingWire Administrator January 2030
    Clíodhna ·
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    It sounds like a weight had been liftedSmiley laugh I'm delighted for you!

    What are you working on at the moment?

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  • Katelyn
    Dedicated June 2021
    Katelyn ·
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    You should book the other venue, don't worry about other people, it's your special day. I would expect to be liable for both venues though, and I would also make sure the other venue is still available before you cancel the first one..,.......................... and nvm as i just saw your post haha

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