[vent/advice Requested] Parents Demanding Invitation Wording... But They're Not Paying

View Quoted Comment Adding: NO! They’re terrible planners. The things the suggested for my brother wedding would have been pounced in and ripped to shreds on WW!

View Quoted Comment Yeah I mean it's clear you knew something like this was likely to happen. It is too late now, so I would just have it how they want it written. Try to separate this specific instance with what sounds like a long buildup of issues with them trying to manipulate your life with money. Of course you and FH should get credit but this is not a "hill to die on" as they say.

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I didn't delete my original comment, I edited it as it came off more rude than blunt.

Seems like this is a hill you want to die on. So leave their names out and move on. You might have consequences but such is life.

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@LB, I absolutely agree with you! It wouldn't be worth the hassle to me, and would just put their names. Hell, I would have been ecstatic if my parents paid ANYTHING in my first wedding!!

View Quoted Comment Wait, we can still edit? I thought that disappeared with the new format.

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I'm sorry, based on new CGs I can't answer this question as it is off topic

Also, OP, your wording is fine. Your parents will just have to deal with it.

As a parent, I am going to take a wild guess, and wonder if your parents are really disappointed that they weren't able to pay for your whole wedding themselves? Believe me, there is some serious sticker shock in the cost of weddings now, and perhaps also in the expectations for weddings, which are also quite different than a generation ago.

So maybe in the back of their minds, your parents always assumed they would pay for your wedding, and then when reality hit, maybe they are just quite disappointed.

My advice would be to keep the invitation wording the way you had it in the beginning, giving credit to your parents, and to fh and you, who are both hosting the wedding. I think later when your parents settle down, they might be happier to have their names on there at all, rather than to skip their names entirely. But that's a guess, and I don't know them.

Wondering how the parents got wind of the wording on the invitations in the first place?

It's you and you FHs day. Parents and everyone else should respect that. If money is given it should be without stipulations. Especially since it's mainly the two of you doing the planning.

Your original wording was perfect. Since they are being so petty and want their names left off if they can't receive full credit then just leave their names off. Seems like the simplest solution.

I know your feelings are hurt but given their Hx just don't worry about them. They are pulling this little stunt in hoping you will give in.

I would word it "Together with their families/parents..."

I tend to agree with GoodMOB that your parents want to pay for and host your wedding but are disappointed that they can't do the whole thing. Sounds like everyone is contributing so everyone should get credit in the invite.

Give them their money back

Scale down the wedding and host the # of people you two can afford, be it 20 people or fifty people. July is a long ways off to have this between you and your parents.

My hubby has a mom who dictated where he would go to college and his major....it did not end well.

****OR****

order the invites with all the names on it and move on. There are going to be hurt feelings and resentments no matter what, please don't let this be something people are still grousing over in ten years.

Can you cut out all the parent stuff and just say "your presence is requested at the marriage of...."

View Quoted Comment This what I did.

Mine and DH’s wording:

Bride
and
Groom
are getting married!

time and venue information

*mic drip*

I’m a bit confused. In your original post you said your parents didn’t realize their gift wouldn’t pay for everything. But in a comment you said they knew it would only cover half.

If it were me, I’d honestly probably just let them have their way with this one. No one really looks at a wedding invitation for longer than ten seconds, and I doubt they’d sit and think about what the wording means. If your parents were generous enough to give you half of what you needed, I think letting them win on this one won’t hurt. Or rebudget your wedding to include only what they gave you. If they thought in the beginnng they were hosting your wedding, I can understand why they’re upset

Seems to me they are pretty upset and shocked they aren't paying for all of it, they need to see the facts of how expensive weddings are today :c I say keep it to each partial credit, they're only saying to take them off because they're mad they'll get over it, you're doing it correctly.

View Quoted Comment I have to agree with this. Pick your battles. My parents name is on the invitation as hosting even though we are putting up quite a bit of money.

My daughter wants to use “Together with their Families” for her wedding invitations even though we are paying 100% of her wedding. There aren’t any divorced parents on either side so this isn’t the case for wanting this. It hurts my feelings that she wants to do this and my husband agrees; however he says he doesn’t want to argue about it with her.

My parents gave us about 1/4 of what we're spending for our wedding but *technically* it was my inheritance that I was too young to collect on at the time of inheriting it and so my dad had to give it to me, in reality it is my late grandfather's money. FH's parents are covering our honeymoon costs.

FH and I decided on the wording "together with their families (brides name) and (grooms name)..." and it sounds like this might be a nice compromise for you potentially. Good luck!!