Vent about rsvp

Ugh, that sounds annoying. I don't think people really realize just how much goes into wedding planning until they plan one themselves (in modern times).

I'm sorry you're having to go through this! When will people realize "maybe" isn't a real answer when RSVPing for a wedding?

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Agreed! My cousin had her wedding last weekend and she had 20 no-shows or people who called after the final count was due and said nevermind they weren't coming. That's a lot of wasted money. I say stick to your guns and get a final answer!

Ugh! I am so worried about this happening!

View Quoted Comment Exactly! Some family have called and said their not coming now and some have called and said they are. Like make up your minds! Its a wedding not a bbq! Also some family wont return my calls and leave me on read so I've also said if I don't hear from you by this date I cannot include you in the headcount which made my mom mad who said just incase add them! Like no! I have enough money for my set headcount and I'm under it just a little I want to use any extra money to hopfully be able to tip!

I'm sorry! We only have 4 "maybes" so far but our RSVP date isn't for another 4 days. HOWEVER we are still waiting on 67 people to RSVP, which is insane.

That is irritating and annoying. I would let your mom know that if she is upset by this and they give a maybe she can pay for them. That way she can truly understand the importance of the RSVP deadline.

My dad did the same. I felt like he took it so lightly when uh it's a lot of money per person and it's better to have a concrete or as close to a count as you can get.
Be careful of people showing up on the day of unrsvpd for though.
If your mom is upset then she can help pay for those spots she wants open

View Quoted Comment I'm super worried that people will show up who wont respond! I dunno what happens when extra people show up like do I get a bill or what?

My cousins did this same thing. They didn't RSVP, so I asked her if they were coming. She said maybe, depending on their daughter's soccer tournament. I followed up with her again and she again said maybe, but to plan for them to come after dinner for dancing. She is really flaky, so I didn't put her down in our count at all because I was 100% sure she wouldn't show up. And she didn't. I was so glad we didn't waste that money. I would tell that that unfortunately you need a yes or no answer and you will not be able to accommodate a "maybe."

Our reception is $120 pp, so no, maybe is not an option. I also recently learned that one of my FMIL cousins have a history of RSVP yes and no showing. I said, I wished that you told me that before I sent her the StD as they wouldn't have been invited (husband & wife). $240 is a lot of money to waste. My FMIL said that if she no shows that she will reimburse us for their meals - which we are taking her up on.

This situation infuriates me and every time I see a post or story about it, I get more and more angry. The nerve of some people. A wedding isn’t like a birthday party. I can’t believe there are so many people that think it’s okay to be like “oh, maybe. Count me in just in case!” UM... NO! You’re either in or you’re out. If someone RSVPs yes and they don’t show up (without good reason), I’ll probably never speak to that person again, because that’s so disrespectful and rude and they clearly don’t care about me anyway. I’d like to think no one would do this, but weddings seem to bring out the best or worst in people from what I’ve noticed.

In your situation, you are absolutely correct! You need a definitive answer and your mom needs to get over it, especially since she’s not the one paying for everything.

Tell everyone who did not RSVP yes by July 9th they can't come. I wouldn't even feel bad about it.

I agree with you, there's no gray area when it comes to RSVP's. It's yes or no. My FH is a wedding DJ and in the middle of May DJ'd a wedding and (I kid you not) out of 120 guests that RSVP'd yes, 37 didn't show up. The bride was in TEARS because of it. Save yourself the stress (and money) and stick to your guns.

View Quoted Comment I wholeheartedly agree with this. I don't care what your circumstances are/relationship to the couple, you are only asked to give a yes/no response by a certain date. If you're unsure, you RSVP no. That's it.

Yeah I agree with all of you guys. I am sticking to my word. I'm not doing maybes and I am not doing just incase. Idc if I'm a little under my count. that extra money will be used to tip my venders not hold a maybe. Erks me to know people are so wishy washy with something like a wedding!

I would say something like, “We need to pay for your meal at this time so I need a firm yes or no.”

I’m not sure if guests don’t know that flaking costs you money, or don’t care, but I feel like pointing out you need to pre-pay for their meal will help them give a decisive answer & stick with it.

We had 8% no-shows. Fortunately, only 50 guests total so only 4 wasted plates but still annoying. 😡

View Quoted Comment What erks me is my family from California where I'm originally from never talk to me like it was years since I heard from them no one ever called back. At my grannys funeral this year AT A FUNERAL they made a fuss about not being involved or invited! So I invited them and I need to know yes or no and one just maybe add me just incase and the other ones leave me on read like my phone and messager tells me you opened and read it! I'm not counting them if I dont get a yes and I'm worried they'll show up unannounced!

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That's why you need to call or write and get a firm "yes/no." Forgot, it also impacts place settings too/rentals. So... "We need to pre-pay for your meal and reserve a seat/place setting for you. I need a firm yes or no. We'd love to see you but totally understand if you can't make it! Let me know. "

You really need to be firm with them and explain WHY so they don't flake/show up after giving their answer.

View Quoted Comment I tried but they wont respond they left me on read. Wont answer calls so I'm just not including them if I dont hear from them