vaccinations Required?

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I mean, you are essentially asking them to get vaccinated if they want to be part of your day. Whether or not you are directly stating that, you are telling them that if they do not get vaccinated, they aren't welcome. It is putting a condition on their attendance, a condition which is very personal and not anyone else's to dictate. I'd feel like I was backed into a corner, and it probably would affect my relationship with the person or couple going forward.

My point regarding the attire is that it's ironic that people are go with the flow for something that will only affect a person for one day, but will (essentially) force them to undergo a medical procedure that can have a huge impact on their life. I'll wear green eyeshadow and stripper heels for a day if that's what the bride wants...inject something into my body at the couple's behest? No.

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This is worded perfectly.

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Thanks Elizabeth!

Interested in hearing your take....if you were invited to a wedding that asked guests who were not vaccinated to watch virtually would you feel offended? What if in lieu of a vaccine, they asked for a negative COVID test and to of course wear a mask during the reception?

We definitely are not asking anyone to take a vaccine. We are simply asking if they choose not to, to attend virtually and know we completely understand their choice not to vaccinate!

View Quoted Comment I would be a bit offended to be left out of an event because of not having the vaccine, especially because it isn't an option for me. I wouldn't be offended if I were asked for a negative test result at all.

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Thank you Elizabeth!

Maybe that's the wording we need to do. Either vaccination or proof of negative COVID result . Then all can join happily.

Thanks for your feedback, I really appreciate it. I feel like sometimes people jump the gun and start criticizing...I truly am just trying to find the best and safest way to have the wedding we planned two years ago, and not make anyone feel offended. I will edit to include negative COVID test

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I think it would depend on my relationship with the couple. We have had three friends change their wedding plans because of Covid. Friend A and B are my husband's friends and Friend C is my friend. Friend A and his wife were supposed to get married in August last year, but had to cancel so they just had a wedding with their immediate family. To our knowledge, him and his wife don't plan on having a large celebration. He is part of a group of friends with my husband so they don't talk or see each other often especially because he lives in a different state. He also didn't attend our wedding because he was in med school so I've never met him. My husband didn't seem all that upset about their change of plans. Friend B was best man in our wedding and is my husband's best friend. Him and his fiancé choose to postpone their wedding from October last year to October of this year. They choose not to get married on their original date and to just completely wait. The wedding is across the country from where we live and my husband is in the wedding so he will definitely be attending. It is still up in the air if I will be able to because our daughter will only be five months and since I plan on breastfeeding she will need me and they aren't allowing children. My mom has offered to possibly go with us so I can attend. They haven't said anything about mandating the vaccine and if they did I'm not sure what my husband would do since he isn't comfortable getting it and I'm not sure what they would do if he refused. I know he would be upset to be excluded, but I can't see him changing his mind about the vaccine since the long term effects (possibility of fertility issues) are unknown. Friend C and his wife were supposed to get married last June then they postponed until October last year, but then realized things still wouldn't be better so they postponed until September of this year. They choose to still get married on their original June date with just immediate family and their bridal party. They haven't said anything about mandating the vaccine, but I wouldn't be able to get it because I will be breastfeeding so I'd be very sad if I couldn't attend if they did mandate it. I would still send a gift and watch the ceremony via Zoom, but I would definitely be sad that I couldn't be there to celebrate in person especially since I plan on making arrangements for my mom or mother-in-law to watch our daughter for a few hours while we are at the wedding.

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Thank you Veronica! Gosh, it seems like everyone had to do different plans last year, it's totally insane. I think we have decided to say vaccine or negative COVID-19 test prior to the wedding. That way those who are breastfeeding or not wanting to take the vaccine can participate in the day if they want (as long as they are willing to get a COVID-19 test)...i guess if they are not wanting to get a test, then there's nothing more I can do at that point. Luckily, I do not think any of my friends or family would be unwilling to at least get a COVID test

I hope you and your husband are doing well and that you get to go to the weddings this year! Having a baby is stressful enough, can't imagine being a new mom right now with so many unknowns!

I appreciate all the feedback you have given

Personally, I would not be offended by any of this at all. As a matter of fact, I would appreciate your commitment to keeping your guests safe! As you and others have mentioned, there is no way to be certain the vaccine will be widely available to everyone by the time of your wedding, and there may be people who are unable to receive the vaccine for various reasons. I
think with the added edit of accepting a negative Covid test in lieu of being vaccinated, plus offering the option of attending virtually for those who do not wish to have the vaccination or a Covid test, this is a completely respectful way to ensure your wedding is as safe as possible!

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Thank you so much Ava!

I think a lot of people are going to be against something like this right now because it's not really widely done. A lot of people were saying requiring COVID tests would be invasive and rude when they just came out, but now it's kind of a widely accepted practice--- mostly outside weddings. Thank you for being so encouraging...I was starting to think I was being rude!

While I understand and can see the benefits of having the vaccine...I probably would be extremely uncomfortable if someone asked me to get a vaccine that has little long-term research on it. I'm very hesitant myself to get it because we want to have children and we don't know how it affects fertility, or if it even will. Now you said you'd ask people to either get the vaccine OR test negative for Covid. I don't feel like that's too big of an ask because you're just asking guests to show that they are healthy. But you will have some people who just downright say no for this, so as long as you are prepared to accept that, then why not ask.

View Quoted Comment I think you are being incredibly gracious- both by keeping guests safe, and the respectful way in which you are doing so! If everyone were to get onboard like you, we could end this nightmare quicker. FH and I are not in a high risk group for Covid, nor are any of our friends or immediate family. But we do plan to get the vaccine when our turns roll around, just because we want to do our part in ending this pandemic and getting everyone’s lives back to normal as quickly as possible. If our wedding was this year, I would be following your lead and doing the same thing!

This sounds like a great idea to me!

I just wanted to follow up since I'm not sure if you interpreted my comments as being harsh, which wasn't my intent at all!

I also am a postponed covid bride; from last fall to next month. We did not get married on our original date but opted to wait it out. Now our wedding is coming up, very fast!, and we are having what I would consider a normal event. The reception will be outdoors and while it is smaller than I was hoping (95 or so), it will look and feel like a mostly normal wedding. There are very few restrictions where our wedding is being held. We took the approach that those who are not comfortable attending can take extra precautions and/or choose to not go. I have been to two weddings since covid started, one 70 person "normal" wedding and one 200 person "normal" wedding.

As a guest I would prefer the option to provide a negative test, but even then I would only go if I was very close to the couple. I think this really depends where you are and the general "feel" of your crowd.

Just a thought. Isn’t the vaccine only supposed to reduce the effects of catching covid and not prevent it? If it isn’t preventing it then it’s not preventing the spread. So, having taken the vaccine really doesn’t prevent people at a wedding/event from getting it correct? This is just my understanding of how it works I am by no means a medial professional nor do I pay close attention to news about the vaccine.
If it won’t prevent the virus from being spread, I wouldn’t worry about if all my guests have received it. A negative test would make me feel better about keeping everyone safe than having the shot. Just my thoughts on this. I could be very wrong.

I'm not sure if this is a concern where you are, but is COVID testing easily accessible and FREE for everyone? The idea of someone asking me to get a vaccine to attend their wedding just doesn't sit right with me because it's my personal, private health and wellness that someone else is trying to dictate. I had to get tested last week for a minor surgery I'm having tomorrow and was definitely not a fan of it, but would be willing to do it for someone's wedding IF I didn't have to pay for it AND I didn't have to disrupt my day for it. Most test sites around me are only open when I'm at work. That would mean I would have to either take time off work to get it done or essentially lose my lunch break to do it then. If your guests wouldn't be put out by having to get tested if they don't have the vaccine (losing a lunch break, taking time off work, paying for the test, etc.), then I'd say that's probably fine. If that test does put them out in any way, they may be upset and decide not to even attend virtually. That's a bit more of a "know your crowd" thing, but it's something I feel a lot of people don't really think about when asking someone to get tested.

View Quoted Comment For my wedding, we aren't requiring tests, but we are paying for tests for people who have to get one to travel to our state. We are coordinating those mail-in tests. It's still maybe a pain for guests to find a fedex dropbox, but definitely will be free for them.

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I don't want to get too sidetracked, but just wanted to drop a press release from Pfizer that came out a few days ago, based on data collected by the Israel Ministry of Health.

https://investors.pfizer.com/investor-news/press-release-details/2021/Real-World-Evidence-Confirms-High-Effectiveness-of-Pfizer-BioNTech-COVID-19-Vaccine-and-Profound-Public-Health-Impact-of-Vaccination-One-Year-After-Pandemic-Declared/default.aspx

They haven't published the full data in a peer-reviewed academic journal yet (things are happening so quickly, I don't blame them, journal articles take time), but these findings suggest that a vaccinated person is both protected from contracting the disease (or the effect of covid if they do become infected is less) AND he or she is less able to transmit the virus to others. *Just wanted to provide a potentially helpful resource to PP, not trying to start a debate.*

I was totally on page until you edited to add the negative covid test alternative... there are so many false negatives if you’re requiring the vaccine just make that the rule. But yes you totally can do that and anti vaxxers don’t have to attend! They won’t be allowed to fly or travel by public transportation in the future anyway!

View Quoted Comment It's pretty offensive to put everyone who can't or won't get the vaccine into the "anti-vaxxer" category. For some of us, our doctors are advising us NOT to get it. Some people also have a legal right to refuse based on disability or conscience. And, yes, we will be able to travel--stop fear mongering.

View Quoted Comment Thank-you for sharing. Like I said I don’t follow it too closely.