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Dedicated August 2021

vaccinations Required?

megan, on March 15, 2021 at 1:18 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 2 55

Hey guys!


So I'm sure this will be more of a topic of discussion in the future, but wanted to see what everyone thought about asking guests who are not vaccinated to stay home. We have been toying around with the idea of this on our invitations and wedding website:


"We have been closely monitoring COVID-19 throughout the year. After postponing our wedding last year, we have placed the utmost importance on the health and wellbeing of our family and friends. After much deliberation, we have decided to ask all guests and vendors who are attending our wedding in-person to be vaccinated prior to attending the wedding. We understand that not all our guests are able or want to be vaccinated, and we completely understand. We will be live-streaming our ceremony for those who do not feel comfortable getting the vaccine."


Thoughts? I'm sure others are in the same boat of thinking of requiring a vaccine. I just want the best shot at a normal wedding as possible.


****EDIT***** we will be adding in "Or a negative COVID-19 Test prior to the wedding date" to include those who do not want to be vaccinated. If someone is unwilling to get a COVID test (non-invasive) or get vaccinated, then they can watch virtually. Smiley smile

55 Comments

Latest activity by Sarah, on June 7, 2021 at 12:22 PM
  • D
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
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    So here’s the thing, you said that this is an attempt to “have the most normal wedding as possible “. But regardless if everyone has a vaccine or not you still have to go by what your state is demanding as far as restrictions.


    You are the bride so you can certainly tell you guests this, just be prepared for people to not attend and possibly be offended by this. Are you also going to request that the people serving your food as well as your vendors are fully vaccinated?
    If not, then what’s the point? There’s a lot of different reasons why some people can’t get the vaccine. If you don’t feel comfortable with having them at your wedding then you would definitely want to state that to your guests and maybe offer virtual, but vaccinations are slippery slope to cross, especially if some women plan to have children within a year, the CDC does not recommend they get the vaccine.
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  • M
    Dedicated September 2023
    Meghan ·
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    I don't think you're being rude, but this idea makes me uncomfortable. Even for August, I don't know if your guests will be able to get fully vaccinated before then. It's possible, but not something I'd bet money on. My second Moderna dose is 30 days after my first, and it take 10-14 days after the second dose to be considered fully immunized. Also, what about people with health conditions precluding them from receiving the vaccine, or children who are too young? I don't like excluding them when you can just ask people to wear masks and/or distance during the ceremony instead. Additionally, how would you plan on enforcing this? Would you require people to show you their vaccination cards, or just trust their word?

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  • M
    Dedicated August 2021
    megan ·
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    Hey DJ!

    Yes, we are definitely asking all vendors to be vaccinated, and if not we will find others. Luckily we are already pretty relaxed on restrictions, but my family has been extra precautious due to having SEVERAL at risk people in my family (One with MS, two with heart complications, 1 with chronic lung conditions, and many over the age of 65).

    I am completely fine with people not attending. I have an aunt who is refusing to get the vaccine for personal reasons. Completely understand, we will be offering a virtual experience. I think asking for vaccinations at weddings will be more normalized, specifically in summer as the vaccine will be come more widely available.

    Thank you so much for your input though, it is so good to have another perspective.

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  • D
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
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    Also, I know you said that you are requiring your vendors, but to add to your catering company, many of those servers might be new or seasonal and might not be aware of couples demanding vaccines for them. You will definitely have a hard time finding all of the servers that you need at your catering company who are vaccinated. As PP said, vaccines are short supply, and it takes time for them to be affective let alone if they’re getting their first dose or second dose etc. Are you at all worried about the fact that you might not be able to have a wedding because your vendors and caterer can get their staff vaccinated in time?
    Bigger question, have you discussed this with your vendors yet and your catering company??
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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    As someone who is currently pregnant and plans on breastfeeding, I wouldn't be able to attend a family member or friend's wedding if they required me to be vaccinated as my doctor is not recommending it. My husband is also choosing not to be vaccinated since there isn't a lot of research on the long term effects of the vaccine. We've both seen varying info on the possibility it could cause fertility issues and we plan on having more children. But like DJ pointed out, you'd still have to follow your state's guidelines for Covid which could still mandate masks and social distancing so even with the vaccine it may not be possible to have a normal wedding.

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  • M
    Dedicated August 2021
    megan ·
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    Hey Meghan!

    All great questions, and things I haven't quite figured out yet. We are already planning on having no kids, so no issues there. There are definitely some exceptions on who can actually get the vaccine (i.e. people who are allergic or have other health conditions).

    My thought process is this. It was extremely normalized last year to cut guests lists of 250 down to 6 people due to state restrictions OR to minimize risk. We even thought about doing that ourselves. Some of my friends even had to cut out aunts/uncles, or siblings...to my knowledge, not a single person was offended by this. they understood we are in a pandemic.

    I think of it as the same sort of situation. i do not forsee anyone getting upset at us for making this choice. As I mentioned prior, we will be making the ceremony virtual as well for anyone who does not feel comfortable attending still (with a large crowd), or is unable to get vaccinated.

    Per the CDC, any adult over 16 who is wanting to be vaccinated should be able to by July. Our wedding is end of August. Obviously things could get off track (as we all know), so its something we would have to monitor. If vaccinations are not WIDELY accessible at the time of our wedding, we will obviously continue to go through and do masks/social distancing!

    Thanks for your input. Very helpful!!

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  • M
    Dedicated August 2021
    megan ·
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    Hey DJ- Our catering company is done via our venue, and they have already committed that their employees would be vaccinated. I do not have any concern that a vendor would not be vaccinated.

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  • M
    Dedicated September 2023
    Meghan ·
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    What about asking people to either 1) get vaccinated or 2) provide a negative test result within 5 (or however) many days of the wedding?

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  • M
    Dedicated August 2021
    megan ·
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    Thanks Veronica! Very interested in hearing your take on if you would feel hurt or disappointed? I keep pivoting to how I would feel if I was asked to stay home if I hadn't gotten vaccinated, and I keep coming back to how many weddings we were disinvited to during the pandemic, and we were NOT at all offended or upset. We understood and just wanted our friends/family to be happy, healthy and safe and celebrated virtually Smiley smile

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  • M
    Dedicated August 2021
    megan ·
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    Yes Meghan! We are on the same brain wave... we were thinking of providing that as an alternative, or asking those who are not vaccinated to follow stricter rules as in wearing a mask and providing them the KN95 masks.

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  • Expert September 2021
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    Your wording is totally polite and straight forward- But the idea of requiring anyone to get a vaccine that they may or may not be comfortable getting just doesn't sit right for me. This is obviously a controversial topic right now, which is why you can't require this for your few hour party. You can encourage guests to take their health seriously, but you just can't require people to have specific medical care of your choice to enter your event.

    You may lose some vendors and guests, possibly friends simply by requesting this to attend your party. This just crosses lines for me. But you do what you think is best!

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  • D
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
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    Oh wow, well then yeah, I would say that the vendors and catering company would’ve probably been your biggest hurdle with it, But if they are all demanding that their staff gets vaccinated then the only thing you have to worry about are your guests and that point I would say the wedding website would be the best way for you to get the message across.


    Do you plan on doing proof of entry with it? I guess meaning do you trust all of your guests enough to get the vaccine, and also do you trust your vendors enough to ensure that all of their staff got the vaccine?
    I hope I’m not pressing the issue too much LOL I’m just really curious about this
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  • M
    Dedicated September 2023
    Meghan ·
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    I would feel better about end of August versus beginning of August, how crazy is it that even those couple of weeks could make that much of a difference?? I hope for your sake (and mine and everyone's) the CDC is right on this one and vaccinations will end up being on schedule (some states are even ahead of schedule!). It's good to be flexible, I like your plan to reassess and pivot if necessary.

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  • T
    Super April 2021
    Tiger Bride ·
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    I think it is really, really invasive to dictate your loved ones' medical choices as a condition of allowing them to attend your wedding. For all people get fussed about telling the wedding party they have to wear a certain dress or shoes, forcing someone to get a vaccine is way over the top.

    If I were the guest, I would not attend, would not watch the livestream, would not send a gift. Sorry...but that's very invasive, and I would def be offended.

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  • M
    Dedicated September 2023
    Meghan ·
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    Must be that Meg(h)an state of mind Smiley xd

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  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    There’s a huge difference between cutting a list because of state restrictions and requiring guests obtain a vaccine to be a part of your day. I honestly wouldn’t remain close to someone who insisted I was vaccinated to attend their wedding. My medical history is no one’s business and I don’t think it’s okay to require someone be vaccinated in order to attend an event. I would also look over your contracts really closely before deciding you’ll cancel vendors if they won’t get the vaccine. A lot of our vendors required full payment if we cancelled close to our wedding.
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  • M
    Dedicated August 2021
    megan ·
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    You are absolutely not pressing too much! These are all questions I have still..we have not figured this out 100% of the way, and are still asking these questions. I would hope it would be an honor system, but obviously want to ensure safety! Smiley smile Maybe as I think through more, I'll update? Or if anyone else has ideas!!

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  • M
    Dedicated August 2021
    megan ·
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    Thanks Tiger Bride!

    I appreciate the input! I don't know if I find it invasive....maybe my wording needs some wordsmithing...I don't want to make it seem like we are ASKING people to get vaccinated, rather if you are not vaccinated, then simply be understanding and attend either virtually or not at all. I would never expect a gift from someone who could not attend, and honestly do not expect gifts from people who DO attend given many have lost jobs etc.

    Also, just to level set. I do not care one bit what people wear to my wedding. I let all my bridesmaids pick out their own dresses, they can wear their own shoes, do hair and makeup however they like.

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  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
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    I'm not getting the vaccine because I will be trying to conceive by the time it is available to me. So I guess I wouldn't be attending.


    It just seems heavy-handed to me asking people to take a brand new vaccine to attend your event. My family who has gotten it had to take several sick days because the vaccine made them physically ill. I think you should really think hard about what you're asking people to do here.
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  • M
    Dedicated August 2021
    megan ·
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    Hey Sarah!

    Thank you for your input! Like I mentioned above, I could probably wordsmith my messaging a bit. We do not want to ask people to get the vaccine. That is their choice, 100% and we understand either way. I am not insisting anyone get a vaccine....

    I am insisting that my wedding be as safe as possible so I can enjoy it (as I have postponed already), and for people to be understanding of that. If they are not wanting to get a vaccine, then don't. Watch virtually, or as other suggested, provide a negative COVID test prior to the wedding.

    And honestly, I don't see it as that different from state restrictions. I think a lot more in the future will need a vaccination record or a negative COVID. test-- i.e., traveling, large gatherings like music venues etc. This is an unprecedented time, and things change. Couples getting married the past year have had to make difficult decisions...and I see this as one more difficult decision to ensure the people in my family who are *super* at risk, are safe and comfortable.

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