Updated: Did anyone marry a Jew in a Catholic ceremony?

You can marry in the church. A ceremony, not a mass. You must vow to raise any children in the Catholic faith.

The Jewish-Catholic wedding is a staple on Long Island! There literally are rabbi/priest teams who do these weddings and then they do the baptism/baby naming ceremonies later for the children. I'm neither so I don't know much about the specifics but my FH's fam is Catholic and I know the priests "team" with rabbis frequently.

I would say to definitely call your priest. My cousin & her husband (both Catholic) were married in the church. My cousin was adamant in having her god mother & GM's husband (also our uncle) be the god parents of the wedding. Because they were married in a non-Catholic, Christian church, my cousin's priest made them choose another couple. I'm not sure if this is a Hispanic, Catholic thing (please no offense) or if the priest was just super strict. I'd say avoid any stress & just ask him; you're in time to change the location.

I've been to a Jewish catholic wedding, there were no issues. They weren't allowed to have a full mass with communion and were required to do the meetings with the priest (idk why I'm blanking on the name of them haha) before hand. I'm not catholic and told the church we'll be having our ceremony at that I'm not. They were un-phased and didn't even ask my religion or if I was baptized.

Additional thoughts:

1) In the unlikely scenario that they let you do a full mass, it may still be preferable to do a ceremony without the mass because the priest will probably let you modify the ceremony a little more, so that you can be sure to choose elements that are appropriate to both of you (i.e., he might let you do two readings from the Hebrew Scriptures rather than one from each testament).

2) Even if they don't let you modify the ceremony, you DO get to choose which versions of all the prayers you want and can be more inclusive with those. Don't let anyone tell you differently.

3) The sacramental theology (the meaning of the sacrament of marriage) changes if you are not both baptized. This is why it varies so much between priests, and why you might have to jump through more hoops than if you were both Christian.

It definitely depends on the priest you speak with. Best thing to do is get a meeting at your local parish and see what they say. Most of the Catholic Churches around me are very lax. My Aunt spoke to her priest friend about blessing our marriage and he said to just wait until after. No big deal.

I think in the end it depends on your priest and maybe the church?? I'm not familiar with the Catholic church/religion.

But, here's what I know/have heard. My grandfather was Jewish but, when he married my grandmother, he had to convert in order to get married to her (she was Catholic). I know that was many years ago but, I also was told by my friend that her brother had to be confirmed before marrying his wife in a catholic church (they were both Catholic but, he didn't do confirmation until closer to their wedding). Although, when my parents got married, I don't think my dad had to convert (I also don't know what kind of church they actually got married in plus he's a reform Jew and my mom was Catholic).

You just need special permission from the bishop of the diocese. It would be possible to do a full mass, but your FH wouldn't be able to fully participate (no communion), which is why most churches just do a vow ceremony. And you have to vow to be open to life and raise your kids in the Catholic faith. The premarital meetings used to be called pre-cana, but now they're more commonly just called meetings. Most diocese require a 6 month engagement period. In the meetings you go over what marriage is as a sacrament and what is required of you (paperwork), doing some classes for natural family planning, an engaged couples conference, and things like that. It's not to find reasons why not to marry. It's just to make sure you both know what marriage really is about in the eyes of the Church.

As others have stated, this sort of thing is going to depend a lot on the priest and the parish. My Catholic friend married in an atheist at her church and the priest didn't bat an eye. Other parishes and priests make you jump through more hoops.

You will not have a full mass but will still be required to compete all pre wedding classes/courses. Also you must agree to raise your children as Catholic. If this is not something you want to agree to do not get married in the Catholic church. If I was not Catholic I would have an issue agreeing that my children will not know my faith

Definitely ask your Priest. From my experience, a non-Catholic can still get married in a catholic church but they are married by the Deacon instead of the Priest. Also they don't usually do a full mass.

Jewish Catholic marriages are fairly common, I do tons of them BUT Jewish Catholic marriage with a rabbi and a 'priest' are a little more illusive and this is why. No real Catholic priest will do a ceremony outside the church, regardless of the people involved. Yes, can you find guys (and they are all guys) who say they are retired priests, priests in an ancient order, all kinds of stuff but the truth of the matter is if the sacramental nature of your ceremony is important? That's not going to cut it because they are not real in the eyes of the church.

You could alway have an officiant do your ceremony and then have a convalidation done after the ceremony, at the church. Several of my couples have done this.

I guess it all depends on your church and how 'Catholic' you hope your ceremony will be.

It can be done, just talk to your priest. Some of the PPs are incorrect though... your FH doesn't need to convert to Catholicism for you to have a Catholic wedding. You probably just won't have a full mass. You will still have to vow to try to raise your kids Catholic, your FH just won't need to vow to that. The church will still recognize your marriage as long as you work with your priest and get it approved (so you can still get communion in church). I'm getting married in the Catholic Church and my FH isn't baptized. We just need to get a special dispensation approved by the Bishop. My marriage will not be considered a sacrament because he isn't baptized, but it will still be considered valid by the church. I'll still be able to get communion during mass, have to vow to try to raise my kids Catholic, and FH doesn't need to convert to Catholicism. Every parish/diocese is different, but I just wanted to give you some background as having an interfaith Catholic marriage isn't unheard of.

I just heard this podcast featuring a great blog called Smash the Glass, all about mixing traditions and honoring Jew-ish (that's the phrase she uses) elements if you're interested. It seems like a great resource.

UPDATE: Thanks for the tip Stacey. Everyone has given some interesting feedback. I heard back from them and it's doable! It's going to be like Brianna mentioned. We don't live in San Juan so we're getting the special dispensation through my priest and bishop here in Philly. They require all of my paperwork so my mom is hunting them down. Baptism, Communion, and Confirmation done in three different churches in PR. Fun, although I hope the church where I did my Confirmation has the latest info all together. We have to do premarital preparation in Philly as well. But they've separated our date and time. I can't believe we'll be getting married here. I ALWAYS imagined a church wedding but since I fell in love with FH I let go of the idea because I didn't want to offend or make him uncomfortable. Since his mom is Christian, he's open to marriage in a church and we both really wanted our ceremony to have strong ties to God. Yay! Here's a picture of the church. Thank you everyone for the comments. It really helped me think about what to expect today. I was anxious last night!

My father was not confirmed when my parents got married, but from my understanding at least one person has to have made their confirmation and the parish will determine if they will marry the couple if both are not confirmed.

My Catholic brother married his Jewish wife in a protestant church. The ceremony was officiated by a Catholic priest and a rabbi.

OP - that's wonderful news!! Just a heads up on the records. When I called our church to obtain records for my daughters, they told me the baptismal certificate has to come from the church it was performed in and the document they send cannot be issued more than 6 months before the wedding. Could be a diocese specific thing, but that's what I was told. The church is beautiful - congrats!!

Congratulations! As far as all of your sacrament records, you should just be able to get an updated baptismal certificate from the church where you were baptized. The other 2 churches should have sent your First Communion and Confirmation information to the first church, so they could update their records (hopefully they did, will make it much easier for you). That church looks beautiful!

@OP all your paperwork is actually sent to where you were baptized. So your first church should have everything. Usually you can give a call, give them a heads up you want those sacraments and then sometimes they will ask for a fax letter as well. And make sure to check with the church you are getting married in if you are allowed to open the envelopes. Some churches want it stamped and sealed to them.