UPDATE: SO RUDE!! How to uninvite late, inconsiderate guests....

I like it e. No nothing. Even the STD's, IMHO, are overkill.

No one is going to want to hear what I REALLY want to propose; inviting only the guests who have no question about coming; who'll either know they can't and decline immediately or who would move heaven and earth to be there, instead of these massive groups of "close friends and family" who'll be there if it's not a stretch for them and take their sweet time letting you know. If they're that close to you, they'll care enough about you not to make you insane.

Yep, she made a mistake with the RSVP date; so give a week. Call the venue and beg their forgiveness; in most cases, you can raise a count but not lower it.

Bottom line? You chase them as much as you want and have the enthusiasm for, but I wouldn't.

I get Celia's frustration (we all have it) but it's still wrong. And the OP is rude as well. Get on the phone now. You can almost always add more to your guest count but not remove, so it shouldn't be an issue.

How much do these guests who are unaccounted for actually mean to you and your FH? Are they worth the trouble of calling, re-notifying of the RSVP date, etc.? If not, cut your losses and move forward. It really isn't that big a deal.

If they're worth the trouble, I'd call them first, get their bottom line responses, and if you have to add/subtract in the aftermath of your final count, contact the venue and let them know.

I totally understand your frustration, it's just something that most of us have/had to deal with at one point while planning. It certainly got under my skin that people had forgotten to respond, but that's just life; everyone's got their own stuff going on. This is your stuff. No biggie.

Celia, as always, for the win.

I think there is more fault on their side. They are adults and should understand a deadline is a deadline and numbers need to be in. And you can't just go invite people who were not on the invite. We received an invite in the mail on Saturday. And guess what, that RSVP is in my mail box this morning to go out. And I felt antsy having it for 2 days. I send those suckers back within 1-2 days. Because as soon as I hear about a wedding, it goes on my calendar. I've had a wedding blocked off on my calendar for over a year (way before I got the STD) because I wanted to make sure not to schedule anything that weekend. I understand people need more time to plan their schedules (if they have NOT received a Save the Date) but that's why you have 2 months or so to send the RSVP back. And that's what STDs are for, to make sure you have time to figure out if you can attend or not. It's not like people just don't show up for a dentist appointment and then weeks later when they finally show up, think that the dentist is rude for not fitting them in right then. We just got a Save the Date last Thursday for a wedding in late November. It is an extended cousin of FH that he doesn't know very well, but they are invited to our wedding. It is out of state and not just a few hours like most of his family, so we need to figure out (BEFORE we get the invite) if we would be going. We aren't going to put it off until we get the invite and then try and figure it out. That's what the STDs are for!

Danielle - I guess have your FH call again and if they don't answer, leave another message. If they do not return the call again then count them as not going. That's pretty immature of them to act that way. It's not that hard to pick up a phone and say "Sorry, it's too much work to find a sitter. We will have to decline." Done. Good luck.

I didn't read all of the comments, just skimmed through them. I don't think you're being a bridezilla at all though. It's not hard when you get an invite to respond. Some people don't respond because 'obviously they are coming they wouldn't miss it' and others seems not to respond because 'well we just can't go, so why bother sending it in". Since you have so many people, honestly who aren't even close to you, I would tell them that you didn't hear from them and numbers were due and unfortunately you can't accommodate them anymore. We didn't hear from people, but FH tracked most down. We have 3 couples we didn't hear from. I didn't try tracking them down. One of the couples would've been seated at a table that still had room and the other two I put at the vendor table. We also were to cut a whole table out from people we didn't hear. Since I had the room, I didn't bother reaching out to them letting them know they could/couldn't come. If they show up, there will be room of them and if they don't it's not a big deal either. I was lucky to be able to do that though. I could not imagine having that many people not knowing about, especially if they do just show up. That will be a complete mess trying to add more tables, etc. My worry was people would show up, if I didn't have the room, and they would have to set up an extra table, but since I used an outside décor company that table wouldn't match. I made it all work out though. As far as your timing, yeah you should've spaced that out more, but you know that and nothing you can do now.

UPDATE: The cousin just called FH and told him they will be able to make it. I emailed our coordinator at our venue and changed our counts with her, so crisis averted. The rest of the guests we were waiting on had an answer for us when we called.

I just want to say for the record that I am glad these people are coming. All is forgiven and now we can move forward.

Thank you again to all of you who gave your opinions and advice. Celia...your no-nonsense philosophies are like a breath of fresh air. I always watch for your two cents, and I always agree. Happy Monday everybody.

Glad it all worked out for you Danielle!

Glad it all worked out in the end for you. Sounds like a really stressful 24 hours

I didn't call a single person who didn't RSVP. Which was 50% of our invited guests. I know things happen, but my situation was a perfect example of people being inconsiderate and just fucking lazy. Life didn't "just happen" to those people; they simply didn't care.

I think it's terrible that we have to plan for this shit. The onus should really be on the people who can't sign a note and walk their asses to their mailbox.