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Just Said Yes August 2019

Unsave the date..?

Maddie G, on November 26, 2018 at 9:27 AM Posted in Planning 0 11
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Hi! My fiance and i are planning a big wedding in august. We have already sendt out save the date to our 80 guests. The planning prosess is so exhausting and we dont enjoy it at all. It is so expensive and take up a lot of our time. We argue about our wedding often, and when we dont talk about the wedding we have such a good time together! Wish we realized this before we sendt out std!
Now, we really want a small ceremony and reception with just our closest family. We have arranged for a new wedding date in october. How do we tell our guests, that did not made the cut? Unsave the date? What do we write...?

11 Comments

Latest activity by Melissa O', on November 26, 2018 at 6:07 PM
  • FutureMrsKC
    Master January 2019
    FutureMrsKC ·
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    This is a tough one! I definitely wouldn't tell anyone they didn't make the new list. I'd probably continue planning the new wedding, send invites to the smaller list, and if you are asked about it then explain the situation and politely tell people that the big wedding has turned into a small family affair. If someone doesn't receive an invite they'll probably assume they are no longer invited.

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  • LB
    Champion November 2016
    LB ·
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    I strongly disagree with this advice. IMO a STD is a pre-invitation and it's straight up rude to not let the guests know that an invitation is not coming. I'd personally never talk to the bride or groom again if that happens cause I'd assume they have no interest in being my friend.

    I would contact all your guests who are no longer invited and simply tell them that due to unforeseen events, the wedding is now immediate family only. You owe your guests at least that.

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  • N
    Dedicated November 2019
    Nita ·
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    I agree with LB here. You especially have you call oot guests and let them know. If I have to travel to a wedding I typically book my travel based off of the std so that I can get a good deal. I would be extremely upset if I booked travel and then didn’t receive an invitation.

    I would call all your guests that are no longer invited and explain that the wedding is now immediate family only due to unforeseen circumstances.
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  • Tamara
    VIP August 2019
    Tamara ·
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    I would suggest letting everyone know that you have changed the event to a small wedding as well. I am also familiar with the arguments that crop up as a result of wedding planning. We now have a dedicated day to discuss all things wedding and other than that we don't talk about it. This has helped tremendously. If I need to discuss any thoughts I have about the wedding outside of our designated time, I come here or talk to my mom and/or wedding planner....we are both happy. Best of luck to you! Smiley smile

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  • Victoria
    VIP October 2018
    Victoria ·
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    I agree with this. If you sent out save the dates, those people are saving that weekend for your wedding. You will want to let them know ASAP, especially if they would have had to make travel plans to attend. I know I like to book travel early so I'd likely book before an invite was even sent out if I got a save the date for a close friend or extended family member.
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  • NVV2B
    VIP January 2019
    NVV2B ·
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    I think you should at least send a letter to all the guests letting them know that plans have changed

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    This is hard. There really is no way not to offend the people you sent save the dates too. Not inviting them is hurtful enough, showing them they aren't important enough to invite to the new small reception. Could you elope just you and your fiance?

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  • Kenisha
    Champion June 2019
    Kenisha ·
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    If you’re going to proceed I think it’s best that you call the people who are no longer invited. I just think that’s really rude and hurtful enough to know that they aren’t invited; you should at least have the decency to let them know so that they are aware of the situation.
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  • A
    Dedicated December 2018
    Amelia ·
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    I agree with this... with all respect to FutureMrsKC, it is not good to just ignore the guests you have already invited. You have every right to have the wedding you two want but you need to talk to the people that didn’t make the second cut. If they are truly your friends, then they should understand the situation.
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  • Jen
    VIP July 2018
    Jen ·
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    I think your friends and family will understand but you do need to tell everyone so they are not holding a date for something they won't be attending. Simply tell them your direction has changed and it now just an immediate family ceremony/reception

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  • Melissa O'
    Devoted April 2019
    Melissa O' ·
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    Send out a COP. LOL Change of Plans notice. Explain the situation, but keep it brief. Brief apology too. People will appreciate the notification even though they may be a little bummed out by the dis-invite. Remind them that you are looking forward to celebrating personally with them in the near future.
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