Skip to main content

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Abby
Beginner May 2022

Uninviting people?

Abby , on August 7, 2019 at 12:23 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 48

I had sent a save the date (not a formal invitation) to my current employer’s family, but very recently some really creepy, bad things have happened and I don’t want to see him there. Can I just not send a formal invitation? How should I handle this?
I had sent a save the date (not a formal invitation) to my current employer’s family, but very recently some really creepy, bad things have happened and I don’t want to see him there. Can I just not send a formal invitation? How should I handle this?

48 Comments

  • Abby
    Beginner May 2022
    Abby ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    The wife is - weirdly - often in the room when these comments are made. She knows about all of it, but also finds it to be ‘funny’. I don’t know how much an explanation would really do.
    • Reply
  • M
    VIP December 2019
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Your last day is Monday and your wedding isn't until next year. You won't see him again, why would there be confrontation. Just don't send the invite and move on with your life

    • Reply
  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Is the person aware of the “creepy“ situation they put you in? If so, I think creepy discomfort outways etiquette.
    • Reply
  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Plus, it’s your wedding… So even if it’s not “wedding etiquette”, what’s the consequence of breaking etiquette? Not a damn thing! It’s not the law. Lol!! Be comfortable on your wedding day.
    • Reply
  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Ooops! “Outweighs”... (voice text). 🤷🏽‍♀️ Lol
    • Reply
  • 8Bitbek
    Devoted October 2020
    8Bitbek ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    After reading your post and other comments in the thread, I wouldn't invite them.
    • Reply
  • Chloe
    Devoted October 2020
    Chloe ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Your comfort is way more important than etiquette, It’s your day!

    I say don’t feel like you need to invite them.
    • Reply
  • Colleen
    Master September 2019
    Colleen ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I see your side. But would it make works strange if you did not invite him? After sending a save the date?
    • Reply
  • Devoted August 2021
    ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    If you don't feel comfortable having the person at your wedding, don't invite them. It's your day.

    • Reply
  • M
    Devoted October 2019
    Melodie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Oh that’s horrifying. Why anyone thinks they have the right to comment on anyone’s body in this day and age astounds me. Absolutely, don't feel bad about not inviting them. And, you don’t owe then an explanation if you don’t feel like it. Sorry you were in that situation.
    • Reply
  • Heather
    Expert April 2020
    Heather ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    This comment Smiley xd

    That's kind of annoying that she goes along with the comments, but yeah, I'd opt out of sending the invitation. Etiquette only applies to those who deserve it.

    • Reply
  • Btbride
    Super August 2019
    Btbride ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Yeah, I think you can ignore the traditional etiquette given the context here, especially if you'll never have to see them again after Monday. Just don't invite them and don't bring it up. Tbh I wouldn't be horribly stressed about being rude or owing an explanation to a person who has harassed you with sexual comments.

    • Reply
  • Destiny
    VIP May 2020
    Destiny ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Maybe they're swingers n thats why she seems okay with it? Fh has some friends that are like that. But i agree with kellie just dont send an invite
    • Reply
  • Grace
    Dedicated December 2019
    Grace ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    They sound awful! I'm so glad you're leaving that position. Don't invite them, and hopefully you can forget about their harassment as time goes on.
    • Reply
  • Shanita
    Dedicated September 2020
    Shanita ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I would just not send an invitation. Honestly, you owe no explanations if someone has caused you to not want them at you wedding. If he asks you about it. Yuh can offer up an excuse. Otherwise, I would let it roll. We sent out digital invites for our engagement party next month and one of my fiancé’s friends was extremely rude to me. So I very politely removed her digital invite and blocked her from the event. No explanation or anything. Some people you have to just push past. IMO 🤷🏽‍♀️
    • Reply
  • A
    Dedicated May 2020
    Abigail ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I would not send them an invite. Especially since it sounds like you wont be keeping in contact with them anyways. I am a former nanny and was with two families for 2 and 3 years. I still talk to them weekly and they are truly like family but if thats not the case for you, which it sounds like it isnt then I would not feel bad not sending a formal invitation. Youre moving on to other things and they wont be a part of your daily life and neither will his rude comments.

    • Reply
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    If you are leaving, just do not send an invitation. And call or talk to the mom. Tell her about the personal comments her husband has persisted in making, after you have repeatedly asked him to stop. And that they will continually lose nannies if he cannot learn to watch what he says. If you were originally referred by an agency, tell them.
    • Reply
  • C
    Super December 2021
    Casey ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Yeah just don't send one. If they have the audacity to ask then definitely tell them why but otherwise you'll be gone soon and likely will lose contact quickly enough. I'm a nanny and that is unacceptable.
    • Reply
  • Andrea
    Master January 2021
    Andrea ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Hey Abby,

    I agree with the majority of the lovely previous posters, definitely don't invite him. The "etiquette" rules will tell you to invite everyone you've sent a save the date to, but etiquette doesn't always prevail. Why would anyone want someone creepy like that to be at their wedding? It would make me feel so uncomfortable too, girl. Etiquette shouldn't be more important than safety, peace of mind and doing what's right given the circumstances. You definitely shouldn't invite them to your wedding. I don't blame you for feeling this way. And I also want to say that I'm really sorry that this man has the cheek to even try that with you, especially knowing you're getting married, and even more worse, HE'S MARRIED. WTF ? LOL but yeah girl, don't invite him. You're not going to be working for him anymore anyway. All the best to youSmiley heart

    • Reply
  • Jas
    Savvy May 2021
    Jas ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    100%! It’s your day!
    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

WeddingWire article topics