I had sent a save the date (not a formal invitation) to my current employer’s family, but very recently some really creepy, bad things have happened and I don’t want to see him there. Can I just not send a formal invitation? How should I handle this?
I agree with this. Just because it is "bad etiquette" to not follow through with an invitation does not mean you are in the wrong here. Don't invite them, and if you don't want to address it directly with them, don't. It does make it more complicated that this is your employer, so depending on what the situation is, you may want to talk to HR. Not about your wedding, but if your employer is making you feel uncomfortable, that is definitely something to talk to HR about. Wish you the best!
I'd rather be rude to one person than totally uncomfortable my whole wedding day. Please take PP's advice and talk to HR if it is something serious. It is better to have a record of the incident just in case it escalates or moves on to someone else.
This depends entirely on the particulars of the circumstances. If it involves you, it’s in the open, and you’re leaving the position, by all means, I’d just not invite and presume it would be understood. If you still work there and it doesn’t directly involve you (or there’s a host of more complicated twists) I think you will need to tread differently as an unaddressed lack of invitation would affect work environment. In that case I’d go for a polite concise explanation that due to the circumstances, you can no longer accommodate them. But again, all the relevant specifics are important. If is an HR issue, certainly involve them.
Nope! Don't send an invitation. If they ask then tell them but if not just leave it. We were in the same situation and he was informally invited and asked for his address and everything. He is now no longer invited and he dose not diverse and explanation.
If you are uncomfortable and feel unsafe with them around do not send a formal invitation.
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Part of the struggle is that I’m a nanny - so there’s no HR, no official anything. The comments about my body have just gotten really out of line. He doesn’t think he’s doing anything wrong. When I ask him to stop or tone it down, he laughs - I think he thinks I’m kidding. My last day is Monday, so I won’t have to see them again. I just don’t know if it’s worth the confrontation of explaining or not?
Absolutely agree.. etiquette goes out the window in some cases. Don't let anyone on a random wedding forum that has nothing to do with your wedding tell you that you have to invite anyone you don't want there.
Some things are more important than etiquette. You absolutely do not owe this man or his family any explanation. You should only offer one if you feel it will offer you some closure, not because some archaic rule dictates that’s this is what you should do. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this and wish you all the best on your wedding day.
Sending a save the date than turning around and uninviting them is a bit rude. I do not know the circumstances so if you do not want him there it's your decision and your wedding. You do not have to explain yourself to anyone.
Yep, I agree! And send the letter registered mail to HER so SHE has to pick it up at the post office. I do believe in inviting people after you sent STD's but if this man has not gotten with the Me Too movement and you are in any way uncomfortable around him, do NOT invite him.