Uninviting people to your wedding/reducing numbers

I'm sorry you've gone through so much!

Most people have been replacing those invites to a physical wedding with an invite to a live stream. This is acknowledging safety, while also still including people who were sent STDs.

If you want to completely uninvite them... some people have reached out and explained that, due to COVID, they've had to change plans because of local restrictions. That said, a lot of people will expect the livestream, now, as that is becoming quite common.

I think in the current times, contact people and say that due to local restrictions you unfortunately have to reduce numbers - people will understand. Set up a Zoom meeting so you can send the link around too.

There isn't an easy one. Save the Dates are a relatively new invention that are way overused, and I wish people would send them out only a month or two before invitations for most weddings. Nature of the beast: with weddings, things often change ( not just Covid. ) Having made a promise to send an invitation for a particular date, you really owe an apology for the change, in person, over the phone or individually in writing, not just a group email or notice by mail or general word of mouth ( mom to her friends, friends helping are ok for a breakup or death, not for this. A simple apology ( you have good reason) A personal response. And then, separately, close in time to the new event, like max 2 months before invitations are received at 8 weeks out, a Save the Date. Or, simply the invitation at 8 weeks.

For the people that are being uninvited you can have them watch virtually

Maybe just me, but I would find it insulting to be told I could elect to watch onscreen the 50 people at the party who did make the cut if I didn't. Different if a family of 5 plus the couple and officiant. 45 guests are going. That should be it, no showing what a wonderful time they are having, to guests formerly invited but cut. That would break all the basic principles of etiquette.

I agree with others about giving those the option to watch virtually.

This website has a good template for a letter you can send to guests who you have to uninvite: https://theeverylastdetail.com/coronavirus-wedding-postponement-email-templates-to-send-to-guests/


I think that most people will be understanding - everyone is aware that there are COVID restrictions in place and that changes to gatherings have to be made. I'm so sorry you're going through this!

My friend got married in june had to cut his 300+ wedding down to 50 in the church... ONLY family were there, all friends got to watch it live on youtube... no one was offended.... just shift the blame to you “god-emperor” governor...🙄🙄🤪 “ due to the latest restrictions we are forced to cut down on our guest list and we had to limit it down to family only” ....

Planning a wedding during a pandemic isn’t for the weak at heart!! These are weird times & we are doing the best trust we can. I would reach out to them personally & explain what you have to do. People understand that this is hard & are sympathetic to the situation. Inform them that you are going to be streaming the event so they can watch.

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I hear you. Our Save the Dates were actually sent close to the time we intended to send official invites, but of course life got in the way. In hindsight, however, I would never ever send a Save the Date. We thought it was a good idea because we were having a destination wedding. We wanted to give people time to save $$$. Guess that backfired.

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Oh wow. Thanks for that template! Very helpful. I really appreciate it.

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Lol. I agree.

I appreciate the willingness of everyone on here to give their advice and ideas. That might work for some, but I most likely won't go that route unless a few of my friends living overseas request it.

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Thank you!

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Thank you! It's good to know that people are understanding.

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Wow....that must have been super difficult to cut those numbers down! God bless him.

View Quoted Comment Yeah. Neither of us wanted a video, back when everyone had just begun doing them. But we had someone do a highlights, and sent it with a huge number of prints, to Greenland and Finland and Denmark. Grandmothers , aunts and uncles and family who could not be there, possibly . But I would not have had a viewing for people we did not invite, even though we are close ( both huge families) to watch those who made the cut partying, or get family and group portraits of most guests. Sensitive area.

View Quoted Comment Like many a good intention!

Close family and friends. I had to reduce my numbers from 120 to 25 due to COVID. My husband and I loved it, more time to talk to our guests which where our close family and friends. Do I wish I could have invited more YES but we had to do what was needed due to COVID. We got married 11/24/20. Now looking back I would not change it.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. During Covid, I would think it would make the most sense to navigate the stickiness by adhering to etiquette (its intended purpose and has been there through the first plague in 1918 without issue) rather than going ahead blindly making up stuff as they go. Plus, while uninviting guests is rude, the only way I could see streaming working is if it's for the ceremony only and the camera is set up so that it gives the illusion of a true elopement with just the couple and an attendant on each side. And be sure that the guest list is not advertised in any way but people do talk and find things out on their own. Otherwise it does rub it in faces of those who don't make the cut even with best intentions.

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I'm so glad it worked out for you!!! Congratulations. That's actually my birthday. :-) A very special day indeed. One of the best birthdays I've ever had to be honest.

Glad it was a great day for you as well! :-)