Uninviting Invited guests

Did you verbally say they can come, or did they receive a formal invitation?

***eating popcorn***

They asked if they wanted to come, so because we didn't think we were going to have all these ppl, said "Ok'. We just found out a couple days ago that these people are bringing 3 others each, for a total of 6 additional ppl. I don't want all those ppl. Nevermind the fact that I don't know the other ppl they're bringing. We don't want ppl that we don't know at our ceremony/reception.

If they want to come by themselves, fine no problem, but I don't know the other ppl they are bringing and don't want them there. I just don't know a nice enough way to tell them this, or even if there is one.

Well, I think if you invited those people you cant uninvited them. However, you can politely tell them that the other 3 cant be accommodated (assuming you didn't tell them that they could bring them) because you have reached your guest limit or whatever excuse you want to give them.

Are these plus 1's spouses or long-term partners? If not you can politely explain that due to capacity issues you aren't able to accommodate dates/additional guests but you hope they can still make it.

If you sent them an actual invite, you can't uninvite them. However, I would have no problem calling them and letting them know they can't bring additional people because you are at your guest limit. If they are each bringing 3 additional, that would be 9 extra people.

To me, it sounds like you don't want to uninvite the 3 you had already invited but don't want their "guests" to come. If that is correct, if you didn't notate "and guest" on their invitation you should be fine. I would just call and tell them that due to guest list size and available space, you are not able to accommodate guests but hope that they can still attend the wedding (without the additional guests)

If they already have a paper invitation then you can't uninvited them.

If it was just word of mouth then just tell them.

I'm all for the blunt and direct method. There is no nice way to tell someone they are not invited so might as well just come out and say it and be direct.

So are you uninviting the 3 invited people or the 3 extra people they invited?

I have to agree with most the ladies on here, if you sent a formal invitation and they are bringing a +1 then ettiquite wize, it would be rude. If it was a verbal invite you could let them know that you were just inviitng them not a +1 and let them know you didn't mean to confuse them and hope that they can still make it.

I firmly believe that once you tell people they are invited, even if you haven't given them a formal invitation yet, then they're invited. It's incredibly rude to uninvite someone. Even if you're over your guest count, that's on you and you're going to have to find a way to deal with it.

Are these extra guests their spouses or partners? If so, they should be invited as well. If they're bringing just random friends, then you're totally within your rights to call them up and say the invitation is just for them.

What Lori said

Your original question was, "it is rude to uninvite invited guests?". Yes, it is. Only you know how these invitation were delivered -- formally, verbally, with guests or without. If you originally told the three guests that they could bring their significant others and now you want to tell the three originals to leave their significant others at home, they will. But, the original three guests will probably be at home with them. Not an easy situation, but I would stick with whatever the original invitation was.

The Centerpiece Flowers is correct...

Yes it's rude. Regardless of how the invitation was delivered (formal or informal) it was an invitation. You can't uninvite people you already invited. That's your problem...not theirs.

You can't uninvite people you've already invited, but if they've added additional guests on their own (rsvp'ing for additional guests without them being designated on the invite) you can certainly tell them you can't accommodate the extra guests they so thoughtfully just added in! Geez people.

You invited these 3 people. So send them an invite for just themselves. No plus 1s. You did not allow that but you did invite them.

Did you actually send them invitations? Did you give them plus ones?

We can't even discuss this until we have all the facts.

Two weeks after I got engaged I went to a party at my cousin's house (my MoH). Her two friends were there and they were all drinking pretty heavily. The two friends were all like "I want to come!" so I said "yea, sure". Well obviously I am not sending them invitations, and by the time we wed it will be almost two years from when this event took place so they will not remember. My mom on the other hand cannot stop blabbing to everyone that I am getting married and these people are of course fishing for invitations. I finally told her unless she wanted to rent another tent and a bunch of tables and chairs she needed to put a trap on it, she got the hint. BUT her spilling the beans has led to us having to add 10 people (plus spouses if they have them) to the guest list.

Yes, to uninvited the original three is rude. To tell them "no go" on the three add ons is absolutely fine.....and encouraged! Also, how many guests are you over? Will three really make a difference when 20% of guests are no shows?