So this is a VERY long story, but I'm going to try to keep it as short as possible.
A little backstory: FH and his mother have had a rocky relationship for about three years. Ever since her divorce from his father, the only time she speaks to FH is to talk trash about FFIL, try to get information out of FH about what FFIL is up to, or just overall complaining about her life. FH has told her multiple times that he is tired of reliving that divorce every time she speaks to him and doesn't want to talk to her about his father anymore. Ever since our engagement, it's gotten worse. The relationship I had with her has been decent, but now she gives me the cold shoulder and barely acknowledges me when I'm in the room. The only time she speaks about the wedding is when she's using it as an excuse to continue to talk trash about FFIL (who is the best man). We've attempted to have multiple sit-down discussions with her and talk out our issues like adults, but she absolutely refuses to accept that she's doing anything wrong. There is a LOT more I could dive into, but it would take a whole book to explain everything that's taken place in the last 8 months, let alone three years.
The only reason she is even invited to our wedding is because she's the mother of the groom. We were willing to put up with all of her never-ending drama for the sake of having his mother at our wedding. In our most recent "sit down adult discussion" (which was Sunday), she continued to tell him she wasn't doing anything wrong and that he has no idea how stressful her life is. FH lost his temper and told her that she is the most negative person in his life and continues to make him miserable no matter how many times he's asked her to stop. He said he's tired of her treating me like a second class citizen when I'm around, while my family treats him like family just as much as they do me. He told her that he doesn't think she's capable of having a mother-son relationship with him that doesn't revolve around his father and the divorce. She ended it with "if that's your perception of me, you can just leave", which we did.
Well, last night things got even worse. FMIL called FH while he was at work to basically bless him out for the things he said to her. While she was jumping down his throat about all of this, he was basically giving it right back to her because he's lost his patience with her. She even went so far as to insult me personally when I had nothing to do with any of this, she just brought me up out of no where. She ended the conversation saying she was going to kill herself and hung up on him. FH left work immediately and drove to her house. When he got there, she was sitting outside smoking a cigarette just chatting with her boyfriend. She said "what are you doing here?", FH said "you literally told me you were going to kill yourself, so I left work", and FMIL said "omg it's not that serious". At this point FH lost his mind on her. He came home angrier than I've ever seen him and it hurt me so bad to know that there wasn't anything I could do to fix it.
When FH finally calmed down, he told me he didn't want her at our wedding. I'm 100% supportive of this decision and I offered to tell her myself because I know it's going to be hard for him to uninvite her because it's his mother, but he told me he wants to do it. So today at lunch, he's going to tell her that she's no longer welcome at our wedding.
If you've read this far, thank you. I know that was a lot and this is not what I thought we'd be having to deal with 10 days before our wedding. This was mainly a vent session, but any advice on the best way for him to phrase this conversation with her or just reassurance that we're doing the right thing would be greatly appreciated.
